


The Many Incidents of Courtship

by Jane_Lu



Category: Transformers - All Media Types, Transformers Animated (2007)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Humor, M/M, Pre-TFA, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-28
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2017-12-09 19:24:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 78,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/777125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jane_Lu/pseuds/Jane_Lu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Millions of stellar cycles ago even as the Great War raged, when the Decepticons still marched into battle with triumphant confidence, there circulated a memorable account of the Decepticon leader and his courtship of his new second-in-command.  After time marred the faction and its followers, it became a lost tale even to Megatron and Starscream themselves.  For to indulge in it was to recall when times were much better for the Decepticons, a time when one courtship during a war was remembered as either Megatron's greatest triumph, or his greatest downfall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Units of Time:
> 
> Nanoklik = 1 second
> 
> Cycle = 1 minute
> 
> Megacycle = About 2 hours, but it will be used as 1 hour for simplicity's sake.
> 
> Solar cycle = 1 day
> 
> Orbital cycle = 1 month
> 
> Stellar cycle = 1 year

For Megatron, a normal day as the leader of the Decepticons consisted of paperwork, managing an army, initiating new recruits and trying not to notice how the majority of the mechs he spoke with lately were dropping hints like scatter bombs. As if maintaining an ongoing war wasn't difficult enough, Megatron also had to deal with a constant stream of suitors vying for his attention. He didn't know when it started, but it was almost overnight that he became so popular. Ah well, nothing much he could do about it really. As long as the Decepticons did their work and remained in top-battle condition, the warlord could put up with it.

Megatron was currently making his way towards the throne room in the Trypticon base, Kaon, where the newest Decepticon recruit was waiting. It still amazed him that even the Great War had broken out thousands of stellar cycles ago there were still many who were willing to join. At this rate they could out-fire the Autobots in no time. In fact, it shouldn't take the Decepticons long to triumph, for they were natural-born fighters as opposed to the civilians and workers that composed the Autobot faction.

Megatron suddenly checked his chronometer and discovered rather dubiously that he was late. When Shockwave had reported in earlier, he had mentioned that the warlord was expected in five cycles.

"Slag it." Megatron cursed silently as he increased his pace, which was not easy in the crowded main hallway. For some reason at least half of the Decepticons on the base had decided at the same time to come out. The current temporary ceasefire probably contributed, for it had been a full orbital cycle since the Autobots made a move. As a result most of the Decepticons were idle. There were many greetings and calls while Megatron belted past the crowd as fast as he could, as well as numerous hopeful gazes.

"My liege, I brought you your favorite type of—"

"Later, Lugnut, when I'm available the next solar cycle." Megatron cut him off as he passed the purple and green bomber plane, who was holding an energon cube.

"You are, Lord Megatron? Then let's—"

"I would love to, but don't you all have work at this moment?"

"Um… Megatron…? No, slag it… Lord Megatron, I… uh…" That was from an unusually shy Blackout.

"Nice try. Why don't you practice your speech first?" Megatron resisted the urge to transform into his Cybertronian fusion fighter mode and barrel his way through. Not that he could actually transform anyway. The warlord had forgotten his twin swords back in his quarters, which also served as propellers in his alt-mode.

Most of the time Megatron hadn't minded the attention he received. But in situations like this his patience was tried greatly. Oh well, as long as he was keeping the Decepticons in line it was fine with him. Not that Megatron would actually respond to those courting attempts, but he did enjoy some of the gifts he received sometimes. A pity he had to pass Lugnut up on his offer of energon, for that mech had a certain talent of procuring some of the sweetest fuel he had ever tasted.

Megatron strode the last few steps to the doors of the throne room, flung the double doors open and rushed inside… only to collide head-on with another mech. He was only aware of an audio-splitting screech as he reeled from the impact and took a few steps back. However, the other had been floored by the collision and was now glaring at the warlord furiously.

"Watch where you're going, you fragging scrapheap!" The mech shrilled in a sharp voice.

Megatron finally recovered enough to stare at the unusually fiery mech on the ground. He was quite small in stature compared the other Decepticons and lightly-built. His frame was lithe and graceful, complimented by a thin curvy waist and a pair of equally slender legs. This (rather appealing, Megatron must immediately admit) visage was completed by elegantly-long faceplates and slanted optics, which were currently smoldering with irritation, along with a bright fuchsia and gray paint job. He must be the new recruit Shockwave had reported.

"What are you staring at?! Aren't you supposed to apologize? You could have knocked me flying, or dented one of my wings!"

For the first time, Megatron saw a pair of sleek streamlined wings arching proudly from the smaller mech's back. For a nanoklik he was shocked. This mech was one of the famed Seekers of Vos, known for their unrivaled grace in the skies and highly appealing frames? But Vos was closed-off neutral city state who insisted to have no part in the war. Why would one of their fliers join the Decepticons? Was that even legal in their society?

"I am waiting." The Seeker said crossly.

Scratch that. The other had quite an attitude. If he was going to work along with Megatron, then he was going to make things a little… interesting.

"I apologize for running into you. Now if you would be so kind to tell me your designation so that I can remember who I should be careful around next time." Megatron extended a hand of help, which the other accepted non-too-thankfully and got to his pedes,

"Apology accepted," The Seeker scoffed disdainfully, "As for my designation, I am Starscream of Vos. No nicknames; I want everyone to refer to me properly and you are no exception. By the way, do you know where Megatron is? I've been waiting here for a megacycle already! If this is how he treats all his new recruits, then I will be surprised that all of them hadn't gone off to the Autobots instead because he kept them waiting for so long!"

Megatron stifled an amused chuckle. He decided he liked this Seeker and his brash and cocky behavior. Starscream… hmm? The name fit him rather well, considering how he had let loose that screech earlier and his tendency to rant.

Megatron had started to evaluate the mech before him. Starscream could definitely survive the sometimes-difficult life of the Decepticons, considering his defiant personality so prominently shown in his heated reaction when Megatron ran into him. But he wasn't the most observant mech. Starscream should have recognized Megatron by his voice even though the warlord had maintained a low profile by keeping his appearance hidden so far from public broadcasts.

"Hmm, that's odd," Megatron decided to humor the other, "He's usually never late. Perhaps I should notify him to come on over right away?"

Starscream started to say something in return, but Megatron strode past him to sit on his throne on the far end. At this the Seeker's optics widened as he stared dumbfounded at the warlord.

"Well, here I am," Megatron leaned back and crossed his legs leisurely, "I am Megatron. So you want to join the Decepticons?"

Starscream's mouth fell open, and for a cycle he literally struggled to speak as he raised a finger to point at him almost accusingly. In the end, the Seeker settled for sputtering indignantly.

"You are the infamous Megatron?!"

"What? Disappointed?" He gave a wide smirk and discovered at the same time that it had been orbital cycles since he last did so. This Starscream... he was going be quite interesting to associate with.

"You are the mech who gave those inspiring speeches to rise up and take action against Cybertron's corrupt government? Called us to join the Decepticons in a war waged against the Autobots and how you would reform our planet so that all mechs are equal?"

"You have my speeches memorized well," Megatron was pleased, "I suppose you have finally decided to answer the call to reform Cybertron. Is there any department you specialize in?"

Starscream scowled darkly and glared. He seemed to be in a struggle in whether to lash out violently or to just let it go. Hmm… this mech was an expressive one.

"I once majored in scientific engineering at the Cybertronian Science Academy." The Seeker ground out.

Megatron could sense that there was something Starscream was withholding, but he decided to let it go. This new recruit was a scientist? Such intellectuals were rare among the Decepticons, who were mostly warriors. An army couldn't run without a team of scientists either, for they were the ones who developed new weapons technology, cloaking devices and the such. Currently Megatron had a small team of working scientists, but their field expertise was far inferior compared to the Autobots. If Starscream had truly majored in his studies, he might as well serve to lead the division himself.

"You are a scientist then? Good. We need your expertise quite desperately. As soon as we get over your branding ceremony, I will put you to work right away."

Starscream was about to retort again, but he fell silent at the last moment. He seemed surprised that he was so easily taken in.

"Branding ceremony?" The Seeker suddenly asked in an incredulous tone.

Megatron had to chuckle in amusement again. Starscream also had the tendency to focus on the important things.

"What, you didn't think I would place the brand as stickers like the Autobots do, right? I inscribe the insignia with branding irons heated to the melting point of the armor alloy on the chestplates after you take the Decepticon oath of loyalty. This has been a tradition since the faction was founded millions of stellar cycles ago."

Starscream was speechless by now as a wide range of expressions flickered across his faceplates. One of them was definitely fear, Megatron noted. He couldn't resist the urge to smirk; the Seeker was going to be quite fun to mess with.

"I'm not frightening you, am I? The branding ceremony is but a proof of your dedication to our cause: the willingness to bear pain and difficulty to see it succeed. While I am glad to see you, Starscream, a scientist joining our ranks, my wish is for you to be absolutely sure about what you are getting yourself into. I'm afraid I cannot provide chances to turn back, especially in the middle of war." Megatron explained. He still had to focus on the more important matters.

At this Starscream had become tense. The warlord could tell by the way his frame stiffened and his wings trembled lightly. For some strange reason Megatron's attention was drawn to the two thin sheets of metal that so beautifully made Seekers unique from all other fliers. Each were colored gray with a band of fuchsia along its length and gleamed with the sheen of carefully applied polish. Starscream obviously took extra care of his wings, which confirmed the common belief that a Seeker's wings were his most prized possession.

The brand will go there, Megatron decided in a nanoklik. One on each wing; He couldn't exactly put it on the cockpit Starscream had in place instead of chestplates. A small part of Megatron hoped that it wouldn't hurt more.

"—how I made my decision. Are you even listening to me?!" Starscream's sharp voice downright screeched next to his audio.

"Ouch," Megatron winced, "Forgive me, I was considering a few things over. What were you saying before then?"

"If you are questioning my decision to join the Decepticons, then let me tell you this. I have seen enough of the corrupt Autobot government and the preposterous way they manage domestic affairs. I was denied of my degree in Cybertronian Science Academy and expelled because of no plausible reason even though I received top marks in class!"

So that was why Starscream was reluctant to reveal his career as a scientist. He was a disgraced student who never graduated. Megatron wanted to pry deeper into the matter, but to do that would probably send the Seeker into another long rant.

"I see," Megatron nodded, "In that case, you are welcomed among the Decepticons by all means. The Academy may not appreciate your talents, but I am glad to have you among our ranks. I hope you will find your desired place among us."

Starscream visibly softened as he lowered his helm slightly. He seemed to be in another struggle again, seeking the right words to reply. But in the end he settled for two simple ones.

"Thank you."

"Anytime. I pride myself in accepting all kinds of mechs instead of selecting the talented like the Autobots do. If you have any more questions, please do not hesitate to ask me."

"I don't think I do. Now if you would excuse—"

"And your branding ceremony will be held in a megacycle." Megatron reminded somewhat impishly. He just wanted to see Starscream's exaggerated reactions, and wasn't disappointed when the Seeker sputtered explosively.

Megatron smirked again. With such a character like Starscream among the Decepticons, things were bound to turn interesting.

* * *

The ceremony was the most eventful event Megatron had seen since the war began.

Usually he would approach the new recruits and have them recite the oath after him in the throne room with a large group of Decepticon officers as witnesses. Then the brand was pressed to each of their chestplates and after a fair amount of howling from pain, they would leave to start their new duties. There had been a few interesting incidents concerning the ceremony, but otherwise all occasions were the norm.

Starscream was no exception in the matter of oath-taking. His expression was serious and calm as he recited the words that would bind him to the faction for eternity. However when Megatron took the brand to the Seeker's wings, all Pit broke loose.

Starscream had shrieked, clawed and kicked at the warlord with all his might, which wasn't much considering how much smaller he was compared to Megatron. He yowled something along the lines of "Get your fragging filthy hands off my wings! I never gave you permission to brand me there!" and downright made a racket of the entire thing. This made the assembled Decepticons rather excited too, who started to jeer and mock at the Seeker.

It's not exactly a good start.

Finally in the middle of the pandemonium Megatron managed to pin the smaller mech down on the ground and brand his wings with two quick presses of the iron. Starscream had first frozen in shock, and then writhed violently with his expression twisted in acute pain. But he impressively remained silent.

When everything had quieted enough so Megatron could actually grasp the situation, he discovered he was the center of staring from the Decepticons. For he was in quite a suggestive position with the Seeker pinned down by one knee and one palm against his cockpit. Megatron hurriedly got up to at least preserve some dignity, when he noticed Starscream had gone into a state of unconsciousness.

"Alright, it's over. That was quite the initiation, wasn't it? Now go back to your duties; I will be expecting the report of a full army inspection this solar cycle." Megatron waved away the animatedly chatting Decepticons. Most of them let out groans at the notion of work as they left the throne room. Shockwave, however, stayed behind. His posture of a tapping pede and crossed arms clearly showed that he something he wished to discuss with Megatron.

"He put up quite a fight," Shockwave commented, "I'd never seen such a display of aggression before during the ceremony."

"Indeed. Starscream would make a fine warrior if needed. He will now serve as one of our research scientists." Megatron agreed. He had knelt down again beside the unconscious Seeker to admire his handiwork. The deep purple Decepticon brands were now set neatly into the smooth metal of his wings, the lines of the insignia clear and defined.

"He won't be an easy mech to deal with." Shockwave suddenly pointed out.

"I am aware of this fact."

"From what I've seen, Starscream has a rebellious and stubborn nature. He does not yield under higher authorities well, and he will prove to be a challenge to your leadership." Shockwave stated grimly.

Megatron turned around in surprise. He hadn't thought about all this when he had assessed Starscream earlier. Shockwave was also a keen analyzer of character, although he often saw the negatives. But will Starscream truly prove to be a difficult challenge? Megatron doubted so. There wasn't much a mere scientist could do to the leader of the entire faction.

"You think too much, Shockwave." Megatron said casually as he scooped up Starscream's surprisingly light frame, "He's new to the faction. Starscream won't dare to try anything reckless. Besides, I believe that a perspective second-in-command like you will spot anything odd a mile off and deal with it effectively."

After that, Megatron set off briskly with the Seeker still held in his arms. However, Shockwave was still skeptical as he sighed.

"Somehow I know that Seeker is trouble. Why are you blind to this fact, Lord Megatron?"

* * *

Starscream woke up in the med bay with diagnostic errors filling his vision. Temporarily disoriented, he didn't notice the lingering pain in his wings until he dismissed the windows.

He let out a discomforted hiss as the new brands burned. On his wings! Why did he have to put them on his prized wings?! Megatron never told him he was going to do that, but just went ahead and branded him anyway.

Starscream scowled. His new leader turned out to be… far from what he expected. Megatron was amiable enough, but something about his casual attitude ticked Starscream off. He was a completely different mech from the Megatron he had heard on the underground broadcasts. The Decepticon leader had been inspiring and powerful in his words. Starscream was immediately impressed at how this mech conducted himself and thought him to be stately and noble in person. He wasn't bad-looking either, the Seeker had to admit when he first saw him. Megatron was much taller than he with sturdy gray and dark-red armor that flared at pointy tips. His helm was elegantly angled with more spikes framing his bold faceplates. However, the Decepticon leader's most striking feature was his crimson optics, which spoke of intelligence and a quick mind, but most of all a devious nature, as if he would do the most unexpected things at the most unexpected moment.

He wasn't like a leader at all! If Starscream had known who it was he collided with he would have acted much more reserved. It was far from the promising first impression he had hoped to leave upon his new superior. It was also far from his expectations of a leader he was going to serve under.

Starscream let out a huff of exasperation. He had joined the Decepticons partially out of spite towards the Autobots and partially out of the desperation that he had nowhere else to go to. He had been totally caught off guard on graduation day when he was told that he didn't qualify for a degree because of his exiled status. Starscream hadn't even stopped to realize that his once-bright future was ruined until he fled away in disbelief. When he finally calmed down and considered his options, he concluded that joining the Decepticons was his only option.

Starscream couldn't return to Vos for the rest of his life. His citizenship was already revoked since the day his sire declared him exiled for the simple reason of refusing to follow the tradition of warriors. As one of the most talented fighters of his household, he could have eventually worked his way into the Vosian Air Command, the first and foremost air force on Cybertron itself. Starscream was even one of the few Seekers who had found two others that would form his trine when they were older.

How reluctant he had been to leave his familiar home city, his close ones and the life he had managed to forge despite severe opposition! Starscream did wonder at times if he hadn't been so determined to pursue his scientific interests, he might have ended up better than he was now. The calm and level-minded Thundercracker and spirited and daring Skywarp could have been flying at his side right now instead of rendered trineless. He would have eventually left Vos not in hurried exile without the time to say his farewells, but full of eager anticipation to see what lay beyond. He might have even graduated from the Academy properly instead of being expelled in shame. But all of these things had happened already; there was nowhere Starscream could go.

In truth, he no longer had a place to be on Cybertron.

Starscream had expected to be accepted among the Decepticons after a fair amount of coercing, use his science expertise in the war effort and hopefully maintain a low profile. He hadn't known Megatron would be so open, and that all it took was a small interview and a (extremely painful, Starscream openly admitted) branding ceremony to get him admitted into the Decepticons.

Later the Seeker was declared good to go by the medic, who was a rather large green mech with an orange visor. He had introduced himself as Hook, and proceeded to pointedly point out that it was unusual for Megatron to carry in any patients himself, which was exactly what he did with Starscream.

The Seeker spluttered again in disbelief. Who gave that infuriating mech permission to touch his frame, and after he branded his precious wings?!

If the Decepticon leader himself was like… this, than wouldn't the others be worse?

He plodded through the dark hallways of the base to his assigned quarters, drawing the attention of almost every Decepticon he passed. There were a few who gave catcalls, but Starscream simply sent them scattering with a few blasts from his twin null rays set on his arms. He did want to attract more attention from the majority of the rogues that made up the Decepticons. They were coarse-mannered and rough, ruffians who have no right to associate with the high caste Starscream, let alone gaze upon his frame.

Soon the Seeker keyed in the codes to his quarters, and the door slid open to reveal a nearly-bare room with a narrow berth against the wall on the right side and a simple shelf on the opposite. Currently it was dotted with what little meager possession Starscream had brought with him upon leaving. Seeing this sight, he was suddenly seized by the impact of his decision to join the Decepticons.

Back in Vos Starscream was never alone, for he was always surrounded by his many siblings and relatives. The household was never quiet, and often the Seeker's wish was to have a solar cycle of silence and peace. Even after he was stripped of his status as a citizen, Starscream found good company at the Academy and gladly intimidated those who mocked him because of his Seeker heritage. He had even found a close friend—

Starscream gritted his dentas and resisted the urge to slam a fist into the unyielding wall, which would no doubt do more damage upon his hand. That said friend was offline, gone. It had been several million stellar cycles since Skyfire perished on that ill-fated research journey. Starscream should move on after spending so much time mourning for his lost friend and blaming himself. The Seeker had just joined the Decepticons, and he was more than ready to leave his misgivings and regrets behind.

But the fact that it would be a lonely existence did not escape Starscream. He knew no one among the Decepticons and could not intimidate them when threatened since the majority of them boasted larger weaponry and frame sizes than he.

Well, there was the rather amiable Megatron…

The Seeker scowled. That hardly-serious excuse of a leader better pull himself together during battle and prove his own speeches true.

But hopefully Starscream could at least find a purpose here. He had a few ideas, for he probably would never return to Vos in his lifetime.

Starscream allowed his helm to drop into both hands, grimacing as the brands on his wings stung at the slight movement. It was as if they served to remind him again and again that he was now bound to the Decepticons likely for eternity.

It was a new turning point for Starscream, and so far it was off to an acceptable start despite his misgivings.


	2. Interest

For Starscream, a normal day as the head of the Decepticon science division consisted of paperwork, arguing with subordinates, yelling orders at the underlings and trying not to get himself blown up by his sometimes-dangerous prototype experiments.

Oh, and not trying to amuse Megatron with everything he did. Not that he actually tried, but everything he did or said seemed to bring a devious smirk out of his superior. Starscream hated that.

It was like the warlord treated everything he did, even his being itself, as something that entertained him. Like everything was a joke that he found he could laugh at, and Starscream failed to see what was so funny. In fact, this had been going on for orbital cycles since he had been appointed to be in charge of the science division. He had deemed the other mechs of the division acceptable to work with, selected a particularly quick-minded mech named Steelstreak to be his assistant and kept at his scientific projects steadily. Starscream also maintained a low profile and almost avoided all contact with his fellow Decepticons. He was content to stay unnoticed.

Until Megatron decided to notice him.

It started simple during the few times Starscream went before his leader to report his progress. Megatron remained his amiable casual self and received him gladly. However Starscream soon found the warlord's vision lingering on his frame whenever they met. Then there were times when he would give not-so-subtle hints by an arm casually laid across his shoulder or other small acts that involved touching the Seeker's frame. It was lately however, that Megatron began to take extreme attention in everything he did and found great amusement in it. Starscream was surprised that he was able to last this long without losing his temper at the other.

He scowled darkly at Megatron when he caught that fragger smirking again behind his back. But the other simply turned his attention back to his datapads as if nothing had happened. The smirk was still there though.

Starscream growled and had to restrain himself from slamming the console in front of him with both fists. Shockwave, who was operating the one across him, gave the scientist a dubious look and simply surmised that it was natural for Seekers to be volatile. Fortunately the other Decepticons in the room had not noticed this exchange between their leader and the head scientist.

Starscream nearly lost his temper then and there when he heard a snicker come from Megatron's general direction. But he managed to calm himself down, clenching his fists so hard that he drew energon, and tried to return to his work without being distracted further. Curse his lab computer for malfunctioning so that he had to do his work in the command center instead under the irritating supervision of his leader. Starscream decided to be thankful that Shockwave was in front of him as he maneuvered his seat until the second-in-command's lanky frame blocked his view of Megatron.

True to Starscream's thoughts, Megatron was studying the Seeker with diligence while taking great amusement in the other's reaction. Starscream had known that he was being observed, and he showed his irritation clearly through his scowls.

Megatron inwardly chuckled as he recalled the orbital cycles that had passed since Starscream officially joined the Decepticons. He saw he had the potential, immediately placing him in charge of the science division. The young mech did his job well, albeit often unwillingly. Starscream was a very stubborn individual and frequently argued with his subordinates, not to mention the many occasions when he clashed with his leader. Megatron pressed his orders, Starscream refused to back down. The results were often interesting to watch. The Seeker was still that fiery defiant mech who chewed him out back then in the collision that introduced them.

Not many dared to defy Megatron like the other did. In fact, he believed Starscream was the only one. Pity. Megatron would have promoted him and used him to better effect if he had been easier to speak with. He had been observing Starscream for some time now and he had to admit that the other intrigued him greatly.

The Seeker really had a fine figure for a mech. He was lithe and graceful as opposed to the bulky and heavy-set majority of the Decepticons. Soon Megatron found his vision following Starscream whenever he saw the other, admiring the way his thin waist curved and the lines of his slender legs, not to mention that perky aft just begging to be groped at.

Megatron grinned as he pictured the lithe mech in his lap, his breath hitching as the warlord allowed his hand to slide down a wing until he cupped Starscream's aft and kneaded firmly. He didn't deny that he wanted to touch the Seeker's frame. Everyone knew that Seekers were pleasurable company, and Megatron was surprised that the entire army didn't jump Starscream by now. Fine by him though, he wanted to claim Starscream for himself. He was curious to find out if Seekers were truly as sensitive to touch as claimed, especially their delicate wings and almost every inch of their light plating.  These lithe and slender fliers were rumored to be tighter than any type of Cybertronian, their eagerness in interfacing unsurpassed. As an added bonus, and probably the one that appealed most to Megatron, Seekers were extremely responsive and vocal...

"Lord Megatron, this compiling report for the army's expenses this orbital cycle is finished. Would you please go over it?" Shockwave interrupted his drifting fantasies.

"Of course, after I am done with this batch. Thank you for your work, Shockwave. You are dismissed for now."

His loyal second-in-command inclined his helm in acknowledgement and left silently. Now that Starscream had lost his barrier, he was beginning to feel uncomfortable in being directly exposed under Megatron's scrutinizing gaze. He slumped down into his seat further.

Megatron decided to have a little fun with him. Starscream was always so interesting to tease, since he took everything so seriously. Plus in the midst of war, he had been in the worries and duties of managing his army for too long. Even a warlord had his limits, so why not indulge in his fantasies just a little?

He got up and strode over to where he worked. Starscream heard his approach, and he forced himself not to turn around. But just as he keyed in the next string of figures, a heavy hand landed on his wing out of nowhere.

The Seeker yelped and finally twisted around to glare at the offending mech heatedly. This had gone too far. The snickers and all that were barely tolerable, and now this!

"What is your problem?!" Starscream snapped. At that every Decepticon stopped work and turned to observe the unfolding drama between the two. Everyone knew that such events were always worth to watch as a form of meager entertainment during the grim reality of war.

"Is this how you treat your superiors, my dear scientist?" Megatron didn't seem to care for the rudeness at all despite his words.

"You're touching my wings! They're private! Off limits! Now get your fragging fingers off before I rip out your fragging hand!"

Megatron ignored him. Instead he slowly trailed his digits down the edge of the wing, just barely brushing the edge of one Decepticon insignia. Starscream drew his breath sharply at the thrill of unwanted pleasure that came with the simple touch, a sudden wave of heat washing through his frame unbidden.

Wait, what? He wasn't actually feeling something for that pervert, right? Starscream slapped his leader's intruding hand off his wing.

"Now now. Behave, Starscream."

"Behave?!" The Seeker screeched in indignation, "You just came over and molested me without reason! Why can't you leave me alone?! Every time I catch you smirking at me, I wish I could pound in your fragging faceplates—!"

Starscream halted when he realized he just blurted out all his frustration to the very source. The consequences probably wouldn't be good, since Megatron did sometimes respond violently when one of his subordinates got out of the line. But Starscream could no longer bear with it anymore. He didn't care he had just yelled at his superior and was now regretting it. However Megatron seemed unperturbed, if not his smirk grew even wider.

"Can't I show my interest towards my favorite little Seeker?" He leaned to purr right beside Starscream's audios.

He shuddered again at the contact, and by the time he managed to compose himself and organize his jumbled thoughts into a more presentable form, Megatron was already gone.

* * *

When the day ended for the Decepticons, Starscream was already relaxing in his sparsely furnished room with a cube of rationed energon. He turned in early, for he could no longer concentrate on his work after the encounter with Megatron.

_Can't I show my interest towards my favorite little Seeker?_

The warlord had claimed him as his own. Did that mean he had officially declared some kind of interest in his second? Some kind of infatuation? Then he had a strange way of showing it.

Starscream scowled as he finished the watery energon and lay back on his berth. He hated dealing with complicated things like this. That was Megatron's department, not his.

He had been grateful when his leader immediately put him in charge of the Decepticon science division, a higher position than he expected. Although the division was often looked down upon by the others, since it seemed like the majority of the Decepticons were more brawn than brains, Starscream was content to conduct his work uninterrupted.

The Seeker had also hoped that Megatron would prove to be the same leader he had heard on the broadcasts, authoritative and regal in manner. But no! That fragger still remained that hardly-serious, laidback mech he had collided with the first day he joined. Additionally, Starscream discovered that he was surprisingly flamboyant and open with those he was familiar with. Many a times he had seen the warlord surrounded by some Decepticons, laughing heartily at some joke told by another. But most of the time he was just plain irritating, oftentimes behaving the exact opposite of the stately-leader image he casted. And that infuriating smirk of his! There were many times when Starscream wished he could claw it off his faceplates when Megatron gave him one.

According to his behavior, he had been interested in Starscream for some time now, except Megatron had never declared this interest like he blatantly just did in the command center. The Seeker always found it rather odd that the warlord paid him more attention than he did to his higher officers. Now that Starscream knew exactly why, he was annoyed instead. He held no affection for that buckethead or any intention to court him, no matter how appealing he looked with his tall frame and strong build.

Megatron was much older than him, for spark's sake! He was like a youngling compared to his leader. Not to mention that the warlord wasn't his type. Starscream had never planned to enter a relationship with any mech and didn't plan to for the rest of his life. He had somehow developed repulsion towards such things, for the Academy was filled with lovey-dovey Autobots often engaging in public display of affection shamelessly. Starscream frequently spent cycles ranting about this outrageous behavior to Skyfire, who just laughed it off and sometimes joined the Seeker in his disapproval. Even if Starscream wished for a lover (although this was highly improbable), he would never consider Megatron as a possible candidate.

Still, Starscream wondered at his touch, his blunt fingers resting on the thin sensitive sheet of metal that was the Seeker's wing. The contact had sent heat coursing through his frame and caused him pleasure he could not deny. It was the first time he allowed any contact to his frame like this. To his utter horror, Starscream found that he somewhat  _liked_ the tingling sensation of having his wings touched by Megatron's large hands. He had experienced a strange thrill of excitement he had never felt before when he thought how things might have progressed if they had been alone...

Starscream scowled deeply and tried to force those thoughts out of his mind. He didn't want that fragger near him… but he wouldn't have minded if Megatron touched his frame more intimately. It was illogical—it didn't make sense at all.

Megatron had made known that he was seeking for a mate some time ago. He was a popular mech, and soon there were thousands of suitors knocking on his door. Fierce competition raged among them in order to win Megatron's spark and soon fighting broke out. But news of this reached the warlord and in order to protect himself and his fellow Decepticons, he called off his proposal by declaring himself a single mech.

Starscream had just joined the army at this point, so he was blissfully unaware of this competition. It was after a certain incident involving alt-modes, the Stunticons and a random Blitzwing that he knew of it. The Seeker only scoffed, called Megatron an "interfacing-obsessed afthead" and continued in his work. He thought the entire incident was ridiculous. If Megatron wanted a mate, then why did he make such a private matter a public announcement? He particularly turned his army into some kind of a harem. From that time on Starscream became  _much less_ impressed by his leader. What kind of warlord brought his personal affairs into his troops in the midst of battle no less and acted as a flirt? Besides, what made him so popular? Was it Megatron's power, good looks, popularity or his charisma? That fragger didn't deserve them at all!

The craze had died down by now, although Lugnut still found chances to gift Megatron with high grade and other things. Shockwave also had many private meetings with him, and often emerged looking disappointed (as disappointed a faceless mech could look).

Megatron never took notice of anyone romantically or responded to the other mechs' courting attempts. Until Starscream came along.

He scowled. That fragger just outright told him that he liked him! Was he trying to get him killed by the jealousy that would soon follow? Why did he even declare his interest in front of the Decepticons when he could have done it when they were alone? Was he even interested, or did he only want an interfacing partner? Starscream didn't care for Megatron. He did not want to be dragged into this mating mess. He wasn't interested in starting a relationship at all and even took the effort to distance himself from the other Decepticons. It would not be exaggerating to say that Starscream always holed himself up in his lab neck-deep in work. He only associated with his coworkers and Megatron, from whom he had received much undesired attention.

He just wanted to achieve his best as the head scientist of the Decepticons and possibly get promoted one day.

With his leader infatuating over him? Unlikely, now that he knew one brush from Megatron's hand against any part of his frame would probably send him into highly inappropriate fantasies. Until then Starscream would just have to survive whatever happens next and stay away from his leader, who obviously held less-than-pure motives towards him.


	3. Inappropriate

Starscream made it his priority to avoid Megatron from now on. For several solar cycles he managed to weasel his way out of being alone in a room with Megatron. When that happened, he simply declared that he had other work and left. He now delivered his reports through the messaging system instead of face-to-face, as well as staying in the mess hall long enough to retrieve a cube before holing himself up in his lab again. Starscream hoped to keep this all discreet though, for he did not want his leader to become even more diligent to find him.

Unfortunately Megatron had noticed after the Seeker started avoiding him. He wasn't worried though. He had definitely caught Starscream's interest, hence the avoiding.

The warlord set his sights upon Starscream since he was recruited. He wasn't just appealing to the optics, but was also a surprisingly fierce fighter in both his personality and combat skills. Just the someone Megatron would like to have as one of his higher officers. He had considered promoting the other after seeing how well he managed the science division. The Seeker was capable and hard-working despite his attitude problem, not to mention his gorgeous appearance.

But as much as Megatron was able to tolerate Starscream's snarky comments, he longed to hear the Seeker moan in pleasure under his touches… and beg him to continue on… Starscream would probably provide a most satisfying evening in his berth, and Megatron became determined to have him there one of those days.

He had once being free with his interfacing life when he first become leader of the Decepticons, but soon discovered that this proved less-than productive to his duties. His unexpected popularity also did not help at all, and it had been a long time since Megatron had desired anyone. So when Starscream had come along with that appealing frame and fiery personality of his, the warlord suddenly just wanted to have the Seeker for himself, so much that he no longer wanted to concern himself over the many hopeful suitors that would no doubt be disappointed.

But the courting process had to come first, and then the more inappropriate activities. Megatron actually liked a willing partner, which he believed would make the experience much more enjoyable. Starscream would prove to be a difficult mech to win over, although Megatron was looking forward to it now that he had made his interest known. He was confident that he would soon have the other submitting under him. The Seeker had been the only mech the warlord had met that absolutely refused to do so, but for some reason, his resistance was part of what made him so appealing in the first place.

* * *

After combat training, Starscream was ready to hit the washracks. He had managed to best most of his opponents by using his advantage of speed and a mixture of sheer luck, although a strangely persistent Blitzwing (who, strangely, cackled nonstop throughout the entire session) flung him around in the dirt before Starscream managed to disarm him. Now his frame was scratched rather badly and caked in dirt, not to mention the condition of his prized wings. A long washing was what he needed most.

Starscream didn't like the washracks much. It was public, where all Decepticons cleaned themselves. They also often did it for each other, and the Seeker had barely managed to escape few such encounters. He hated to have anyone else touching his frame, especially those low-class ruffians that leered at him suggestively and made crude comments whenever he entered, although he always took care of the problem by firing straight towards their direction.

Starscream sighed in relief when he found the large steamy area mostly empty. He headed for his favorite stall and rounded a corner, only to smack head-on into a large sturdy frame. The Seeker tumbled to the ground with an oath and glared at the other, whose spiky armor was faintly recognizable in the steam.

Not him! And to think that this was the second time they collided. That fragging scrapheap should have learned to be more careful by now on those two left pedes of his!

"Well, Starscream," Megatron's baritone voice met him, "What a surprise to finally see you around."

Starscream scowled darkly. So he spent weeks avoiding his leader only to run into him the worst place possible. He tried to scramble away quickly, but the other's arm shot out and pulled him to stand up.

"I don't need your help!" Starscream scoffed.

"Many apologies. I wasn't looking at where I was going… my my… you've gone ahead and got yourself filthy."

"If you would excuse me," The Seeker said loftily, "I need to wash."

"By all means," Megatron stood aside, "Enjoy yourself, unless you wish for me to join you."

That last sentence was followed by one of his trademark smirks.

Starscream froze in horror. He would rather listen to Lugnut's five-hour long speech on the greatness of their leader than to have Megatron in the same stall as he. How dare he even suggest such a twisted idea?! Hot anger blazed in Starscream at his leader's perverted behavior, and he would have given him a good punch in the faceplates. However the assault probably will serve to amuse Megatron even further, so he settled for a more verbal approach.

"You!" He pointed furiously at the other, "Shut up!"

Starscream then turned promptly into his stall and turned on the taps as cold as they could go. As he stepped under the freezing water, he could hear Megatron also entering the one next to him. Of course he would want to wash next to his favorite Seeker.

Starscream took the longest shower he'd ever had, scrubbing aimlessly at his chestplates and hoping that Megatron would be long gone after he was done. After spending approximately one megacycle in the washrack, Starscream finally sauntered out confidently. And just his luck, Megatron was  _still there_ , sitting on a ledge and drying himself leisurely with a large towel.

That fragger! He must have been waiting especially for Starscream.

"Why do I always have to see your ugly mug wherever I turn?" Starscream vented his frustration aloud.

"You missed a spot." Megatron ignored him, instead reaching out to rub at an area on Starscream's neck cables. He cringed from the contact.

"More than one, actually." The warlord added as he seized the smaller mech and promptly dumped him on his lap.

The results were interesting to watch. Starscream immediately shrieked, bit at Megatron's hand and scratched at his gray armor. But he was trapped by an arm around his waist, unable to escape no matter how he struggled.

Megatron chuckled heartily. The Seeker was truly fun to mess with. He must be cursing himself to be stuck in such an awkward position. After weeks of avoiding Megatron, he was in a situation he most dreaded.

"Did you take a thorough shower?" He asked suspiciously when he discovered more dirt behind the other's back. Starscream must have neglected it, something surprising because he spent so much time in there.

"Why do you care? Just let me go, you fragger!"

Megatron inwardly smiled when a devious idea came to him. His Seeker was going to hate it though.

"Stop squirming." Megatron stood up, flinging Starscream over his shoulder as he went back into his stall. Of course he didn't listen and scratched at the warlord's back, hard. Megatron winced. That would surely leave marks, but totally worth it if he succeeded in what he planned to do.

He sat down again and placed (with great difficulty) Starscream back into his lap. He turned the water back on, retrieved a sponge and bottle of solvent and set to work scrubbing between the Seeker's wings.

The effects were immediate. Starscream relaxed against his leader with a breathy sigh, his optics dimming in content. Megatron smirked in amusement. It was rumored that a flier's wings were one of the most private and sensitive part of him. He had garnered a heated response concerning their privacy when he had touched Starscream's wing earlier, and now he wanted to experiment with their sensitivity.

He ran the sponge gently up a wing, and Starscream actually moaned at the contact. It was as if he had completely forgotten who was cleaning him. Megatron was determined to enjoy this while it lasted.

It really was sublime. Every movement of the sponge brought whimpers and gasps out of the lithe Seeker on his lap. Megatron tried running a hand along the wing edge, tweaking at the thin sheet of metal. In response Starscream shuddered violently and arched his back in a silent cry of pleasure. Emboldened, the warlord dared to move the other hand down to the other's pert aft, squeezing it roughly. That was when the peaceful moment broke.

Starscream's optics snapped online in alarm and as if he just realized what had happened, he let out a screech of horror, leaping out of Megatron's lap.

Megatron was only faintly aware of the furious Seeker shouting at him about taking advantage, being a total pervert, seducing him unfairly and then groping at an inappropriate part of his frame before storming off.

The warlord rumbled in silent laughter. It was definitely worth it.

* * *

Starscream panted hard as he ran as fast as he could back to his quarters. He hadn't bothered to dry himself from his unfinished wash, and there were even traces of solvent staining his armor. Luckily he only ran into few Decepticons, who gave him odd looks when he tore by like a hurricane.

The Seeker finally reached his room, keyed in the codes and slammed the door tightly shut when he was in. Starscream was safe, for now, as he threw himself into a chair. He finally allowed himself to muse over the previous events that happened in the washracks with Megatron. It was bad enough that he ran into the warlord in the first place. And then he was forcibly picked up and washed unwillingly!

Although unwillingly might be inaccurate. Starscream could still feel Megatron's heavy hands teasing the sensitive metal of his wings, the soft material of the sponge rubbing just in the right places. He hadn't felt pleasure like that before, and just recalling the heavenly experience made his frame heat up again.

What was Starscream thinking?! Anyone who touched his wings would also make him feel the same way. And who was Megatron to touch him as he pleased? He wasn't a lover, and Starscream didn't plan to become close to him at all. He had no right to invade his privacy like this! He particularly made clear his intentions to interface with the Seeker whether he liked it or not.

Unknown to most, Starscream disliked this act of supposed “intimacy” with special vehemence.  Ever since he was introduced to its basic concepts, he found it unfitting, almost disgusting, to share himself so casually as many of the students at the Academy did and boasted about it proudly afterwards. He was grateful for the added bonus of being so busy in his schoolwork that he had no time for such trivialities.

All mechs (excluding the extremely-rare femmes) possessed both equipments but usually used only one with a partner unless they wanted to switch things up.  As for which one, it was usually decided by two factors: Frame type and personal preference.  Starscream was rather appalled that he was always inclined as the receiver.

Once it had been rumored that interfacing actually resulted in something meaningful instead of foolish giddiness and sore frames.  But whatever it was, it was lost in the rivers of time; the act now simply meant the intimate consummation of a bond between two Cybertronians.

Which definitely was not what Megatron aimed for.  Therefore, that irritating scrapheap had absolutely no right to touch him.

However, Megatron believed he had the right. He was interested in the Seeker. He wanted him. And usually he always got what he wanted. Starscream was no exception.

He was in a very good mood after that encounter in the washracks, and almost blessed the fact how his personal washrack had mysteriously malfunctioned, forcing him to use the public one. Touching the Seeker this intimately had awoken a burning desire in him to get the other to submit. Megatron would continue to play this game with his second. He would win him over. And soon Starscream would be begging for more of his caresses.

No mech had caught his attention this much since the Great War started. Something about Starscream appealed to him out of all his suitors. It was definitely his defiance. Megatron liked a fighter after all.

* * *

His luck was running out as of late.

Starscream seemed to run into Megatron everywhere he went. When he started his work in his lab, Megatron was there smirking at him before he left shortly. In the mess hall he was offering him an energon cube. In the combat training room he was watching Starscream spar. The Seeker was now only safely alone in his room, but at least he didn't meet his leader in the washracks again.

It was useless to run now. Starscream could only endure this whole situation. However that didn't mean he should take it obediently.

He snapped at Megatron whenever they spoke and commented rudely during reports. He even stuck out his glossa at his leader sometimes. Starscream knew he was behaving like a spoilt sparkling, but he didn't care. He also knew Megatron won't harm him for his incivility. The warlord liked him too much for that. But Starscream didn't want that oversized fragger pursuing and trying to court him. It wasn't even called courting! Megatron was literally a stalker who made his life difficult, no matter how good his touch felt.

His frame betrayed him though. Every time the Seeker looked at Megatron, he felt his large hands roaming the delicate metal of his wings again and caused his core temperature to rise along with that accursed excitement coursing through him. Curse his wings for being so sensitive and the fact that they were never touched before like that! It was like if now Starscream had felt what it was like, he wouldn't have minded if he felt more of the tingling sensation of having his wings stimulated.

The other Decepticons had started to show their knowledge of this interaction between their leader and this once-unknown scientist since the day Megatron spoke to Starscream in the command center. Mechs like Oil Slick jeered at it and placed bets on how long it would be when Megatron dragged Starscream to his berth for a round of good fragging. But other mechs who had previously participated in Megatron's courting fling were less than pleased. Starscream received heated glares whenever he entered a room, and he was constantly given the most mundane of tasks for strange reasons. Even the mechs at the lab, including his assistant Steelstreak, were somewhat disapproving. Starscream didn't worry about them though, for he soon gave them enough work to keep them distracted.

Shockwave and Lugnut were probably the most affected though. They had worked too long to receive their lord's attention, and now it was taken away by this Seeker who merely flaunted his wings and swayed his aft! They also showed their displeasure towards Starscream whenever they could. The Seeker now often found himself dodging surprise lunge attacks from the gargantuan Lugnut, which he avoided with ease. Other than keeping a cautious optic on his surroundings, Starscream didn't consider him too much of a threat and continued to live as if nothing had happened.

But Shockwave was a whole different matter. Starscream suddenly found life a lot more difficult when he constantly struggled with the budget he needed to run his projects and several times went hungry when the public energon dispenser seemed to always run out by the time he arrived. There was even once when Skystalker summoned Starscream angrily to the command center to demand why the entire Decepticon computer database had been encrypted, which must had been done by the Seeker because he was its last recorded user.

The second-in-command certainly played it dirty by using underhanded tactics. The whole thing was incivility in its greatest form. But instead of faltering in the face of difficulty, Starscream somehow became determined to rebel against his enemies, for he would  _never_  go before his sorry excuse of a leader and tell him of what he was suffering. As a result he often made sure that he was by Megatron's side in the presence of those two. Seeing Lugnut shake with jealousy and rage though helpless to do anything about it was totally worth it.

But it was only after a direct confrontation did the Seeker realize he was in greater danger than he thought.

One day when Starscream was exiting his lab to deliver a report, Shockwave cornered him in the hallways with a hostile look in his optic. Before the Seeker could realize something was wrong, he was promptly seized by Shockwave's long pincers and slammed up against the wall. He let out an indignant shriek, trying to claw his way free. Again he was trapped completely, and at that moment Starscream cursed his small frame size and strength compared to most Decepticons.

"Listen now, Starscream,  _head scientist._ " Shockwave said in a dangerously soft tone, "I have been watching you lately, and your behavior  _disgusts_ me. You have no right to flaunt around Lord Megatron like some cheap pleasure-drone."

"I do not!" Starscream snapped back hotly, "No one is flaunting around anyone. Even if I did, it is none of your business! Now release me at once before I decide to use  _you_ as the test subject for my next weapons project!"

"It is of my business. As second-in-command I have the authority to make sure that those I find as a threat would meet… a rather nasty end. You are not worthy of Lord Megatron, nor will you ever be."

"Oh, shut up, you! You know nothing about this at all!" Starscream was by now very irritated even in his disadvantageous position. He knew there was a reason why he never liked the shape-shifter since the first solar cycle they met as he continued to pry at the pincers keeping him trapped. In response Shockwave tightened his grip so that the Seeker's lighter armor buckled ever so slightly under the pressure. Starscream grimaced at the stinging pain but remained silent, determined not to show weakness.

"I give you one last warning, Starscream. Stay away from him if you wish to remain unharmed."

With that Shockwave allowed him to drop to the ground in an undignified heap and left. It took several cycles before Starscream was able to gather himself and resume his errand.

He was shaken greatly, to be truthful with himself. Shockwave had literally threatened him for something he wasn't even in control of and lost his cool after orbital cycles of unhanded tactics. It was Megatron who made the first approach, for goodness' sake! Starscream never wanted to get dragged into this mess the first place. And now he was on the bad side of the Decepticon second-in-command, who probably yearned for Megatron's attention for some time.

Starscream snickered despite his worries when he imagined his leader flirting with the faceless mech. That would be quite a disturbing sight.

Still... was Megatron worth the trouble to face oppositions like this? The Seeker decided he should lie low for awhile, since his leader didn't deserve risking his life. Argh! Why had Starscream gotten himself into this mess in the first place? If Skyfire were here he would have been rebuking the Seeker for allowing his sometimes reckless and impulsive nature to get ahead of him again. An army was a totally different environment from the Academy, a fact Starscream seemed to have disregarded at the cost of his current predicament. Hopefully another battle against the Autobots would come along, and then he could put this all behind him for the time being before he decided to do something potentially nasty to Shockwave or Lugnut and get himself in deeper trouble.

When Megatron noticed dents around the Seeker's frame as he delivered his report and flecks of fuchsia paint on Shockwave's pincers, he had his suspicions. Since he didn't have actual proof that Shockwave was responsible for them, he couldn't do a thing. Somehow Megatron knew that he better not ask Starscream about it, but soon he knew of this conflict among his highest-ranking subordinates. He knew something had to be done, or the Decepticons would be torn from inside out by infighting. Megatron thought he had already done enough by declaring himself single and gradually distancing himself from the mechs who pursued him. He was kind of growing irritated as of late towards this attention now that the war was starting to rage on again.

If Shockwave could turn from a polite and respectful mech into a dangerously jealous one, what would happen to the rest?

It is uncivil, he decided, to fall by the hands of ourselves than at those of the Autobots.


	4. Inception

The war against the Autobots was raging fiercely again after a rather long ceasefire, and all games between the two Decepticons were forgotten as all soldiers mobilized themselves for battle. They were short-handed, and every subordinate was needed. Even Starscream had to enter combat a few times in order to keep the Autobots away from Kaon. But he always attacked from the air, so he was usually safe out of harm's way. Overwhelmed by the reality of actual combat and the fact that he had to offline the Autobots at first, the Seeker soon adapted when he realized that the enemy would not show him mercy when he hesitated. Not that Starscream had any qualms about offlining other Cybertronians. He never liked the hypocritical Autobots anyways and how they corrupted Cybertron's government until all the officials were either neglecting their duties as they enjoyed their ill-gotten gains or made unreasonable laws for the benefit of themselves.

Megatron was also hands-full in his strategic battle planning. He barely had time for anything else, and for awhile the game was blissfully forgotten between the two of them. Starscream also put Shockwave's threat to the back of his mind. He would have more time to puzzle over it later. The mechs who were hostile against him also fell silent. Ironically, a battle was a relief for Starscream from all the complicated affairs, and he was thankful for it.

However, the last clash with the Autobots in an attempt to assault Iacon directly was a failure for the Decepticons. They lost many of their forces, and even Megatron himself was injured rather severely. Starscream was fortunate enough to escape with a dented wing and some gashes in his armor.

Currently the Seeker was hurrying to the med bay, where the medic Hook had called for his help. With his knowledge as a scientist, maybe he could be of better use there than in the battlefield.

The normally-orderly place was chaos. Decepticons of all kinds and sizes lay groaning while Hook rushed around sealing leaking wounds and reattaching limbs. Occasionally he threw a random tool at a gleeful Scalpel in middle of an unwanted dissection.

"Here, see to Lord Megatron," Hook thrust Starscream a medical kit when he entered, "He's been stabilized, so he's out of the danger of being deactivated. Just seal up the remaining wounds and tend to Blitzwing next when you're done."

Then the medic was off trying to restrain a wildly-thrashing Straxus, who had lost an arm and a pede.

Starscream scowled darkly. Why was he always stuck with that fragger even in the relief of battle? Megatron rarely ventured out into the front lines himself, so he was never injured extensively. Perhaps Hook was merely exaggerating when he mentioned their leader was on the edge of deactivation. The medic had a tendency to use hyperboles frequently, after all. Starscream would tend to Blitzwing first and if he was fortunate, he could slip away unnoticed after that...

When he caught sight of Megatron lying on one of the medical berths without movement, all negative thoughts fled his mind.

Megatron looked terrible. His armor was scorched badly with entire sections missing. There was a deep gash running across his side, which was still oozing energon slowly. His helm was also dented, the crown-like spikes twisting out of shape.

Starscream immediately wondered what had happened to the warlord in battle to receive such severe damage. It seemed like he barely escaped from a crossfire with his life intact. For a cycle he was struck by the fact that being injured in battle was an extremely high possibility, so high that even Megatron could not escape from it.

Well, slag it all. Starscream was doing this out of pure  _duty._

Discarding all misgivings on having to treat his leader (and worries that he would be spotted since all others in the room were too busy groaning from the discomfort of their wounds), he sat down beside the unconscious Megatron and started his work, first sealing the gash in his side carefully. Starscream rubbed the solder along the edges of the wound, and then welded the soft metal shut with a small blowtorch. During his work, he noticed a rumbling coming deep within the warlord's frame. He stopped, curious of its source, when suddenly Megatron spoke,

"That felt good. Continue on, will you?"

"You fragger!" Starscream snatched his hand away as if the other had the cybonic plague, "You were awake the entire time!"

"Of course," Came the sardonic reply, "Those wounds are only superficial, although they were enough to disable me physically."

"What were you even doing? One would think you entered battle with both hands tied behind your back to face a battalion of the Autobot Elite Guard along with Ultra Magnus himself!"

"Do I detect… concern in your inquiry, Starscream?" Slag it! Megatron was smirking again.

The Seeker jabbed at the larger mech with his blowtorch, who flinched away from the intense heat it emitted.

"Shut up before I apply some new injuries on you!"

Starscream hadn't meant it, or course. But he didn't mean for concern to leak into his previous question either. He returned back to his work sullenly, and Megatron's rumbling also resumed. Only with careful observance that Starscream realized the warlord was actually purring in content as he watched the Seeker through his half-shuttered optics.

Just to be nasty, Starscream traced along the edge of Megatron's abdomen plating after finishing with a small wound. The other's rumbling only grew louder as a lazy smile stretched across his faceplates. Slag did it feel good to have the Seeker working away at his frame, those delicate clawed hands scratching away at the more sensitive parts of his armor. Most of it would have to be repainted and waxed, and Megatron would be more than happy if Starscream was the one to do it. Currently this was another moment that he enjoyed and wished that it lasted as long as possible.

He sighed inwardly as he recalled the events of the battle. Megatron had been caught in an ambush especially prepared for him in the back lines. Ultra Magnus himself led a group of Autobots to first disable Megatron's forces around him, and then focused their firepower on the now open warlord. Megatron had tried to fight his way out. It wasn't pretty. He took a load of laser fire to his armor and a few direct blows from the Magnus' hammer. There was a good reason why Megatron always avoided the Autobot commander, for his weapon's ability to summon lightning hurt like the Pit when it struck its target.

"Starscream, I think you've done a thorough enough work. Now if you would…"

The Seeker glared at Hook, and Megatron was very pleased to know that he was upset about been interrupted. But he left without another word and started work on a nearby Blitzwing.

Just then, a frantic Skystalker slid into view and went straight for Hook. There were a few whispered words exchanged, and then the two rushed out.

Megatron frowned. Something was going on, and he wasn't sure he liked it. All pleasurable thoughts towards his favorite Seeker had instantly evaporated by now.

Sure enough, they came in again carrying a stretcher on which a badly mangled mech lay. He was hardly discernible and could have been dismissed as a pile of scrap. But his bent antennas were still intact.

"Shockwave…" Megatron realized with growing horror.

* * *

"He was caught in the explosion of a proximity bomb," Hook explained with a grim expression, "It was a trap Shockwave unknowingly stepped into."

"The Autobots are becoming more ruthless in their tactics." Megatron agreed.

"Shockwave is still in surgery," Hook continued, "He will make a full recovery, but will be in stasis lock for quite some time. Even after he onlines, he cannot enter combat until his systems are functioning at their full capacity. You know what this means, Lord Megatron."

He sighed heavily, "I would have to select a new second-in-command to temporarily replace him."

Hook nodded, "May your choice benefit our faction."

The medic left for the supply room, and Megatron was finally left alone to his thoughts, which he was very thankful for.

This was certainly a crisis. With Shockwave down, the Decepticons had suffered a great loss. He was the one who kept the work in the army going. He took care of paperwork with such efficiency that even Megatron admired his abilities. Somehow Shockwave always managed to obtain Autobot intel that aided them greatly.

But since Starscream came into the command center sporting those strange dents, Megatron had started to distance himself from his second. He was very sure that Shockwave was responsible, and was less than impressed that he had lost his calm over something that was none of his concern. Certainly Megatron had the right to court any mech he wanted. However now that Shockwave was on the verge of deactivation, the warlord felt he had wronged his second. He hadn't taken his attempts for attention seriously and often dismissed him. Shockwave didn't deserve a fate like this.

As for Starscream…

Megatron's mood lifted significantly at the thought of his favorite Seeker. He had the mind to promote him as second-in-command in Shockwave's stead… if the others would approve of his new rank, that is. That was the one thing that was hindering him from making the promotion right away. His council of advisors would certainly object to this, ask why hadn't Megatron chosen from them and argue that the degree of Starscream's abilities and loyalty were virtually unknown.

But the promotion would certainly place Starscream closer to him than before and offer him more chances to interact with the other. To be truthful with himself, that was the exact main reason why Megatron wanted to make him second-in-command.

* * *

Soon even in the midst of war and the bad news of Shockwave's incapacitation, every Decepticon started yammering about the now vacant SIC position. Every mech desired to work at Megatron's side as his closest advisor and helper. Not to mention the power that came with it, control over the army only surpassed by Megatron himself.

Starscream somewhat rejoiced that the mech who threatened him was down for the count. At least he didn't have to take the threat seriously now that Shockwave can't carry it out. But he couldn't say that he wasn't tempted by the SIC position. Imagine the sudden rise to authority, something he had been denied of for such a long time! He could command the Decepticons and even become the substitute leader. The Seeker would have jumped at this opportunity immediately, for he had somewhat longed for a promotion. But…

Being SIC meant that he had to work side by side with that pervert trying to get under his armor. Starscream was not looking forward to that.

At the same time he was unwilling to work under a mech like Lugnut, who was the best candidate for the job since his faithfulness was equal to Shockwave's. Megatron would of course take a loyal subordinate to be his second. But surely the warlord wouldn't choose that bolts-for-processor as his trusted second when he had Starscream, who was much smarter and more talented than Lugnut could ever be…

He scowled. He didn't want that position, slag it! Every day would be a torture with that fragging buckethead, with all that suggestive comments, groping and what-nots. Plus jealous opposition will grow even worse. It will be a nightmare.

Nevertheless, Starscream wanted that job. He fretted over and argued with himself over it. He both wanted and abhorred over that rank day after day. Too long he had been holed up in the labs, either leered at or looked down upon just because he was more of an intellectual than a fighter like most of the Decepticons. Most of all, Starscream longed for respect and acknowledgement of his work.

The Seeker's anxiety didn't go unnoticed, however. Blitzwing had taken note of his foul mood and surprisingly invited him for a drink to talk about it. He only accepted the invitation because of the energon he would be definitely getting this time. Starscream had gone at least a few solar cycles without refueling.

"Somezhing is eating away at jou, Starscream." The beige and purple flier noted, his single monocle studying him carefully.

"So what does it have to do with you? I don't need anyone trying to 'advise' me!" Starscream snapped back. He never associated much with Blitzwing and didn't trust him at all. The other was well-known for his mental instability, an outcast among the Decepticons. But so far Blitzwing was the only mech who treated him neutrally, something Starscream was the littlest bit grateful for.

"I suppose it's about zhe rank of second-in-command?" Blitzwing tilted his helm slightly in inquiry.

Starscream froze. Was it truly that obvious that he wanted it?

"How did you…?"

"Jou tend to vear jour emotions on jour sleeve, Starscream. Vith everyone fighting over zhat position, it's really not a surprise. But I definitely know zhat I'm not fit for zhe job, aha ha ha ha ha!"

Starscream backed away as Blitzwing suddenly laughed without reason. Then annoyed that the other wouldn't stop that disturbing sound, the Seeker slapped him on the side of his helm. The somewhat mentally unstable mech blinked a few times before falling silent.

"Thank jou," Blitzwing sighed, "I seem to be losing control of myself more lately, sometimes raging against zhe smallest zhings and laughing for no reason at all…"

"We all have our woes. Now get to the point. What do you have to say?"

"I think jou should go for zhat position."

The Seeker sputtered in shock and promptly spat out his mouthful of precious energon without realizing it, "What?! That's none of your business!"

"Are jou deaf?! And jou just vasted zhe energon I spent megacycles trying to cajole out of zhe dispenser!" Blitzwing suddenly roared at him, "I said jou should take zhat slagged position. And jou better do it or else!"

"Don't threaten me. I heard what you said. But do you really think I could just march up to Megatron and tell him to make me SIC?"

"There is no harm done. It is his decision after all." Blitzwing reasoned.

The Seeker inwardly groaned. That was exactly why he didn't like associating with the accented mech. He was too unpredictable in his behavior.

But Blitzwing had, metaphorically speaking, hit the nail on the head. No matter how much unwilling was he to work for a leader interested in his frame, Starscream still wanted that position and the power that came with it.

"I see zhat jou are considering," Blitzwing agreed, "Know zhis then: Jou are zhe most likely candidate Megatron vould choose."

Slag right. Starscream didn't care anymore. He sent a short message to Megatron.

* * *

Said warlord was currently working on his paperwork right after he recovered from his injuries when his communications systems pinged, informing that he had received a message. Megatron raised an optic ridge confusedly. Usually when his officers or any Decepticon wished to speak to him, it was the custom to do it face to face. The message system was only used for long distance communication. But when Megatron saw the attached information of the received message, he stopped all work immediately.

**Sender Identification Code: 22406**

**Sender Name: Starscream, DSD Head Scientist**

He grinned. His Seeker had never disappointed him in his impulsive actions. Megatron eagerly read the message.

**-Why would you chose that glitch-head Lugnut to be your second when you have me? But grope me again during work and this time I will rip your whole fragging arm off. No hesitations.**

This certainly would be the inception of an interesting relationship, Megatron observed as he immediately got to work in sending a reply.


	5. Inadvisable

**-Why, Starscream, if you had such an important matter as this one you wish to discuss with me about, you should do it face-to-face.**

The response had been immediate, and Starscream scowled when he discovered that Megatron would not be content with a short notice, but an entire conversation.

**-I don't have time to spare for more of your inappropriate approaches.**

**-Ah, you wound me, Starscream. And to think you were the one who so diligently treated me back in the med bay. Are you sure you are that likable Seeker I found scratching away at my plating?**

**-You shut up!** If Starscream could holler his growing irritation in text, he would have gladly done so,  **I contacted you because of the open position of second-in-command, not to have you trying to distract me.**

**-I never thought you were the ambitious type to actually request of this by your own will. Are you certain that I will make you my second? You certainly sound like it.**

**-I want you to consider me as a possible candidate.**

**-Of course, Starscream. Anything for my favorite Seeker. It means I can have more chances with you ;-)**

Starscream scowled at his leader's unorthodox use of an emoticon, but he decided to ignore it, since it seemed like Megatron was in an unusually good mood, although somewhat still improper.

**-You can stuff any thoughts of having any chances with me up your tailpipe! This is strictly work related!**

**-Or is it? You were the one who asked me first about this rank. Perhaps you were having second thoughts about your dear old leader. Admit it, Starscream; you want me. And I will more than happy to oblige to your desire. Ah well, pay me no mind. Why don't we talk early next solar cycle in the command center, and I'll decide whether you're serious about this or not.**

Starscream downright screeched in outrage when he took in Megatron's response. That fragger! How dare he treat him like some kind of a love interest he's flirting with! It was bad enough that the Decepticons were forced to use the highly inconvenient message system instead of comm. units because of limited resources. And now he was using it for his own immature antics. Totally unacceptable behavior for a proper leader!

A few of his subordinates surrounding him in the lab stared at the furious Seeker, but Starscream ignored them. All he could think of was the best way to make his leader suffer. That pompous, glitch-headed pervert! He had had enough of his flirtatious behavior! Starscream would like nothing more than to bash in Megatron's faceplates right now. He took his anger out on a nearby beaker, which shattered under his blow.

"Starscream, is everything all right?" His assistant Steelstreak inquired somewhat hesitantly.

"No!" He howled, "Get out, you lot of misfits. All of you!"

The others were wise not to upset Starscream any longer and left the lab silently. Many of them were muttering insults under their breath about moody Seekers, and Steelstreak shot the winged mech a strange look before departing.

Once the room was empty, Starscream collapsed into a nearby chair and finally began to calm himself. It was then when he discovered the last part of Megatron's reply requesting a "talk" the next solar cycle.

He frowned. Why the warlord hadn't wanted to do so now was beyond him. Of course Starscream was serious about this! Why wouldn't he, when this concerned one of the most coveted ranks in the faction? What was that fragger up to now?

But considering Megatron's somewhat positive manner of replying to the Seeker's request, there was a high chance that Starscream would be walking out promoted if he managed to do things right, namely keeping his temper in check while speaking with that insufferable mech.

Starscream's anger gradually faded away as the situation sank in. He suddenly felt the urge to let out an uncharacteristic whoop of joy and pump his fists in the air. Slag all that fragger's perverted behavior to the pit for now. He was going to be the new second-in-command of the Decepticons!

* * *

Despite all the burdens that were suddenly tossed upon him in the midst of raging war, Megatron still had the audacity to smirk in the face of it. Why not? The Decepticon were currently stretched thin in his conquest of the many Autobot colonies, facing an energon shortage crisis, outnumbered in battles frequently and still was unable to compare with the Autobots' expertise in war technology in general.

He was smirking now as he reread Starscream's reply message just before he cut the connection.

**-Fine! And don't you dare be late. I am a busy mech.**

His favorite Seeker was as feisty as usual, Megatron observed. He would probably make a fine second despite his attitude problem, for the warlord never doubted Starscream's abilities. Starscream certainly had the potential to lead and have the others look up to him if he would only be easier to approach.

Megatron had already consulted his counsel of advisors in this matter. Not to his surprise, most of them thought it was inadvisable to promote the Seeker.

"He has an ego as large as his pride," A doubtful Straxus had objected, "He will give you many troubles and may even prove to be a threat to your leadership in the future."

"I wouldn't worry about that." Megatron was not disturbed. He knew that despite his hostile attitude towards his leader, Starscream was definitely drawn to him. He would never dream of doing something so stupid as to overthrow Megatron.

Hook had said the same thing when he heard about this.

"The ideal second for you is a mech willing to put his life in the line of danger for you, which is a quality I find lacking in Starscream. Unless we somehow receive proof that more than meets the optic about him, I strongly disagree with his initiation and therefore suggest you to ask for a vote."

Now that he thought of it, Megatron knew that Hook's words were correct. The second-in-command of the Decepticons would have to be personally faithfully to his leader along with his faction as his leader's closest helper and advisor. Obviously the other officers agreed as they cast their votes. The majority of them were against the Seeker's promotion.

Great. Starscream was going to love this. He would never accept these requirements, let alone provide proof of personal loyalty. It was the very reason why he was being so defiant towards his leader. For some reason when Starscream joined the Decepticons, he never showed any signs of submission and obedience (not that Megatron complained) to him. But now this issue was hindering his promotion instead.

Megatron would have to talk this all over with the Seeker the next solar cycle. Even if he appointed Starscream as second regardless of his advisors' disapprovals, the Seeker will never be allowed to truly exercise his new authority, not to mention how Megatron might receive a bad name.

The warlord carelessly flipped that issue off. He was Megatron, after all. He always did what he wanted to do, including trying to get Starscream closer to him. Even if his council disapproved of Starscream, he would find a way to make things work.

But still…

Megatron still had to find this so-called "proof" to promote the Seeker, whatever it is. It would be better to somehow convince his council that Starscream was capable, loyal to the cause and faithful to his leader all at once. Plus Megatron also wanted a second-in-command with the same level of abilities as Shockwave to serve at his side. It wouldn't do to promote Starscream and discover that he had no other discernable expertise except scientific engineering.

Perhaps a testing would have to be in order. It would be best to have both a capable second and a willing berthmate.

* * *

Early next morning, Starscream was out and skipping. Well, not really… but as close to a skip as he could get.

He was going to be the new second (putting all thoughts of an infatuated Megatron aside), and that opportunity particularly fell from the sky! Starscream could handle Megatron with no problem. If he tried to grope the Seeker again, he could just bash in his faceplates without hesitation from now on.

It was a new beginning.

Several lingering Decepticons stared at the happy Seeker as he flounced by. But Starscream didn't care at all. He was in one of his rare good moods.

Soon he arrived at the command center and immediately searched around for a supposedly-waiting Megatron. Surprisingly the room was empty. There was no sign of the large gray mech anywhere.

Starscream scowled as his good mode evaporated by a degree. To trust that fragger would be here on time… he must have forgotten all about their meeting today. And to think Megatron had to nerve to question the Seeker's seriousness about being appointed second when he himself didn't take it seriously at all.

He paced around impatiently for a while, considering that if Megatron didn't arrive in the next five cycles, he would rush to his room to demand—

The double doors whooshed open.

Starscream spun around, startled, to face a strangely impassive Megatron. The warlord strode in without a word and stood to face him.

"You're late!" Starscream snapped, unable to keep his irritation in any longer.

"Careful, Starscream. If you truly want that position so bad, you would have to behave." Megatron's voice was flat.

At this Starscream inwardly deflated. Why was Megatron being so… emotionless? Was he mad at him for something he had unknowingly done? Did he actually give a bad first impression? Where was his usually carefree and flamboyant attitude?

"Someone got up on the wrong side of the berth this morning." Starscream commented before he could stop himself.

That did it. Megatron's faceplates finally cracked into a wide grin, "As did you. I suppose two wrongs make a right then."

"What does that even mean?! Hold on, I don't want to know. Probably another one of your rhetorical sayings. We're here to talk about my promotion, not to have a debate!"

"You're really not a morning mech, Starscream," Megatron led the other to the break room right beside the one they were in, "Perhaps after refueling you will be more pleasant to speak with."

Starscream hated to admit it, but his tanks were rumbling already. They had been doing so frequently the past few solar cycles since fuel was becoming harder to obtain. The warlord retrieved two rationed energon cubes from the dispenser and wordlessly handed him one. Starscream silently rejoiced at the long-needed fuel as they sat down at one of the many tables littering the area. He literally downed the whole thing in a nanoklik to the great amusement of his leader.

"Tell me first then," Megatron took a sip from his cube, "What makes you think you could take up this position?"

"Do I need a reason? I am capable, that's all. Much more than that glitchhead Lugnut you're considering." Starscream was starting to become bold due to the energy boost the fuel offered.

"True," Megatron surprisingly agreed, "Lugnut is loyal, but I would like for someone to have his own opinions along with my own. You and your many ideas would be invaluable to me."

"Ha! There you go."

Megatron smiled bitterly as he prepared to drop the bomb that would certainly destroy the scientist's hope of his promotion, for he expected Starscream to react explosively to it. He had to do it, after many careful considerations. But that doesn't mean he shouldn't pacify Starscream first.

"You see, Starscream," Megatron began, putting his cube down and looking at the other intently, "I like the idea of having you as my second very much. You are talented and resourceful, not to mention absolutely gorgeous…"

He ignored Starscream's splutter of indignation as he continued on.

"And you fight surprisingly well in battle. In truth I have no reason to not promote you."

"Then what are you waiting for?!"

"There is one problem however."

Megatron almost enjoyed the expressions that were starting to twist the Seeker's faceplates.

"I need your loyalty."

Bomb dropped.

There was a long deathly silence. Any time now Starscream was going to throw a fit.

Sure enough, the Seeker exploded in an angry rant.

"You doubt my loyalty, Megatron?!" He screeched, "I worked my aft off to help the faction run, and I risk my life in battle to fight for our cause. I lost count of how many sacrifices I made for the Decepticons, and you have the nerve to question my loyalty?!"

"I never doubted it." Megatron put on an air of carelessness as he lobbed his now empty cube into a nearby disposal.

"Then what kind of loyalty were you looking for?!"

"One that Shockwave and Lugnut both have, and you do not. One that will win all of the opposing officials over to your side, since it is for their sake that this is even required in the first place."

Oh, how Megatron loved to keep his favorite Seeker hanging in the air. If Starscream had become any more furious, he would have had steam coming out of his audio receptors.

"I want your complete loyalty to me." Megatron intoned.

Another deathly silence.

"Slag no!"

Thought so.

Starscream leapt up and began shouting stuff about perverts, tyrants, aft-headed glitchheads who thought they were holier-than-thou and slagging them in the you-know-where. Megatron simply waited for the other to run out of breath. He was a bit annoyed though. Did Starscream really believe that loyalty to him meant sharing a berth with him (although Megatron secretly hoped this was so)?

"Done yet?" He asked when Starscream finally fell silent.

"No! I still have to address how you should stick your gutter mind up your aft…"

Megatron finally lost his patience. He didn't call Starscream over only to be cussed out. Combine that with his infatuation for the Seeker, his anxiety over the promotion and plain frustration towards everything, what happened next was plainly logical.

Megatron then stood menacingly, towering over the furious mech. The other apparently didn't even notice his leader's movement as he continued to rant. It was only when the warlord grasped Starscream's chin, jerked him forward and promptly crushed his lips against the other's did he become silent.

The Seeker immediately froze against him, too shocked to do anything as Megatron pulled his frame close against his own. He had planned to release Starscream then to leave him in his shock, but he couldn't bring himself to separate. Starscream's lips were surprisingly soft against his own even though he remained frozen stiff. For a nanoklik Megatron considered tasting him more intimately. It was only after a large struggle in his self-control when the warlord decided to leave that to another time.

But for him it was too tempting to simply remain like this, especially with Starscream's lithe exquisite frame pressing close again his. Megatron's hands soon moved to wander down the gentle curve of the Seeker's waist and then lower to cup his pert aft. At this Starscream actually moaned and arched his back, placing both hands on the warlord's chassis either as a gesture to push him away or to encourage him. Megatron didn't care though, and gave a purr of approval before nipping at the Seeker's mouth. He could have remained like this forever, feeling how perfect their lips melded together and how the other didn't push him away for once.

No, this cannot go on. It wasn't supposed to happen in the first place. He still had that SIC matter to settle with Starscream, no matter how much he wanted to make out with his favorite Seeker. Megatron probably won't get such a good chance again. He wasn't fighting back at all and was being completely submissive in the warlord's embrace.

Reluctantly Megatron separated, and inwardly rejoiced when Starscream uttered a needy keen and gazed at him with a wanton expression. The warlord was very pleased now. Very pleased indeed.

"I will consider you," Megatron winked, "You would make a fine second for me. But for now, you would have to pass the test."

In truth the warlord had already set his mind on having Starscream as his second if he could have more chances like this one. However, he left the room quickly before Starscream could recover. As much as he wanted to see the Seeker's reaction, Megatron wanted to leave with his wellbeing intact.


	6. Inauspicious

News soon spread like wildfire among the Decepticons that Megatron had found a potential second-in-command in the head scientist Starscream. No one was sure of how it happened or where the rumor had originated from, though they now discussed it with great enthusiasm. The Seeker normally hated such attention, but he was too flustered to mind anything else.

The memory of Megatron's kiss still lingered in his mind, refusing to go away even though he tried everything to get rid of it. It was orbital cycles after the encounter, but he could still feel his leader's hands roaming his sensitive frame and his firm lips moving against his own. Try as he might, Starscream just couldn't work himself into a rage over how Megatron had so blatantly touched him.

"Starscream, jou are spacing out." Blitzwing's voice brought him back to reality.

"I don't need you to remind me of that!" Starscream snapped back.

Or maybe he did. His frame was starting to heat up by that memory alone, his cooling fans now whirring faintly in the background.

"Did something… happen vith Megatron?"

At that the Seeker lost all patience when he was forced to recall again what had happened earlier. He stood up angrily and started to rant.

"Slag yeah did something happen with Megatron! That fragger particularly tried to shove his glossa down my throat and groped my frame in the most inappropriate ways!"

"He vhat?! Lord Megatron kissed jou?!" Blitzwing's optics went wide. And then he suddenly burst into maniacal laughter, drawing the attention of every mech within a thirty foot radius.

"Silence, you fool!" Starscream hissed, now regretting telling the jet everything about his latest encounter with his leader. But the two had become somewhat reluctant (on Starscream's part) companions after Blitzwing advised the Seeker to strive for the new second. The best part was that he never minded Starscream's interaction with Megatron, and even encouraged it to some degree. Starscream would vent his frustrations to Blitzwing, and the other often offered many helpful advices along with occasions of spazzing out and acting downright random. There were even times when he actually grew angry at the Seeker, threatening to beat him into scrap. When this happened Starscream always left and returned another time. He had a feeling that Blitzwing would be true to his word.

So the brilliant Starscream had fallen to this: Seeking company with a mentally unstable mech out of all others.

"Did jou interface vith him?" Blitzwing asked excitedly.

"What?!" Starscream exclaimed, "No! I'm not even attracted to him, let alone to let him approach me that intimately!"

The Seeker shuddered again as he then envisioned Megatron pinning him under his larger frame in the berth, his hands rough and demanding as one fondled his wings and the other reaching down to rub between his legs…

Oh, thanks a lot, Blitzwing. That was one mental image Starscream didn't need to have. Seeing that the other was about to erupt into a series of probably inappropriate questions, the Seeker mercilessly whacked Blitzwing on the back of his helm. This worked most of the time to dismiss his random attacks. Sure enough, the jet shook his helm a couple of times and blinked before replying in his usual calm voice.

"I think jou wouldn't have minded. Jou didn't push Lord Megatron away when he made advances on jou, nien? Admit it, Starscream. Jou are attracted to him in one way or zhe ozher."

"What's it to you?"

"I think jou two make zhe perfect couple."

Starscream sputtered in indignation, "Couple?! All that fragger wants is some mech to keep his berth warm. I refuse to allow anyone to treat me in such a degrading way. He doesn't want a relationship, and I don't want one either! I am not going to give up my dignity even if it meant my promotion. Why does he even want personal loyalty in the first place?! If that's what it took to be his second, then Megatron could go frag himself! Why couldn't he just outright tell me that I did not qualify?!"

"Starscream," Blitzwing sighed with exaggerated patience, "He vouldn't have asked for jour loyalty to him if he wasn't seriously considering jou as second-in-command. Megatron is the type to just simply ignore such requests if he thinks one is unfit for zhe position"

That shut him up. Now that he thought of it, Megatron hadn't mentioned that he wanted his loyalty as a berth partner. Then what did loyalty to him mean? Starscream voiced his concerns out loud.

"He vants jou to fight at his side in battle like Shockwave once did," Blitzwing answered thoughtfully, "He wants jou to work not because of the cause, but also because of him. He wants jou to obey him. It's like being loyal to zhe Decepticons, but on a more personal level."

"So he does want interfacing!"

"By zhe AllSpark, Starscream. Is that all jou can zhink of concerning loyalty to Megatron?" Blitzwing was exasperated.

"I don't see any difference between the two," The Seeker pointed out, "All of us have to carry out Megatron's orders anyway whether we like it or not since we belong to his faction."

Blitzwing sighed, "Jou still don't understand. A zealous leader is often villing to sacrifice his own spark for zhe greater good of his faction, even to escort his subordinates safely out of battle. Megatron vill be asking something more difficult. He vill vant to fight for zhe Decepticons but vhen in crisis, he vill also expect jou to back him up and escort him out safely. He expects jou to preserve both jour leader and jour loyalty to jour faction."

"That fragger!" Starscream seethed when he gradually realized what this was leading to, "What he asks is particularly impossible to me! There's no way I'm going to become his blindly loyal follower like Shockwave was. Megatron can forget it!"

"I figured you would react this way, but our leader's requirement makes sense." Blitzwing countered, "Of course Megatron would want his second's personal loyalty, since he will be his closest advisor. If you are unwilling to give him that, then I suppose you should turn your ambitions somewhere else. After all, a forced loyalty will not yield a helpful second-in-command."

* * *

Shockwave would definitely disapprove, Megatron decided as he observed the unconscious mech silently. He was still in stasis lock, and Hook had diagnosed that he would be in that state for at least a few stellar cycles before onlining again as his self repair systems did their work. Shockwave was already looking less battered now.

Unknown to most, Megatron had been observing the activity between his officers carefully, and he knew that Shockwave was never favorable towards Starscream. If he knew that the Seeker had taken his place, he would be very displeased indeed.

Megatron disliked this new rivalry between them. If it was still about that unintended courting offer a few stellar cycles back, he would have to put his pede down. In the middle of war, he couldn't have the Decepticons torn apart by infighting. He should start taking further steps to put an end to this whole affair.

A low whirring sound suddenly emitted from the comatose Shockwave, startling Megatron out of his thoughts. He frowned quizzically. Didn't Hook say that he would stay in stasis for longer?

Shockwave's single optic lit up and he shifted around with a groan. He took in his surroundings slowly as he sat up… and spotted Megatron standing before him.

"Lord Megatron!" Shockwave exclaimed, immediately trying to swing out of the medical berth. Instead he fell back weakly with a dull clang

"Easy, Shockwave," Megatron was at his side in a kilk, "You still need to recover from your wounds."

"No, Lord… Megatron… something I have to tell you…" Already the other was starting to slip away again. Perhaps the onlining was a mere unexpected flux, for his repairs were far from complete.

"You can wait until you are at your full strength…" Megatron began.

"No!" Shockwave pulled his leader closer in a desperation that surprised him, "Right now… the Autobots… had…"

Megatron's energon ran cold. If Shockwave had received intel about the Autobots planning something, he should have fortified his army a long time ago. From his second's tone, it was something big.

"What are they planning?" He asked urgently.

"Project… Omega…" Was all Shockwave managed before falling back to stasis, his frame going limp.


	7. Incentive

After his visit to Shockwave and receiving his ominous warning, Megatron researched about this exclusive "Project Omega" in desperation. He had a feeling that this was something deadly, perhaps an ultimate weapon that the Autobots hoped to use against them. Megatron couldn't have that happening. His forces were stretched thin enough already, and he didn't want to deal with a super weapon along with that.

Any other information gathering attempts were unsuccessful. Whatever the Autobots were working on, it was kept under careful cover, probably even concerned highly classified information. Shockwave was very fortunate to learn of it, and Megatron planned to question him more when he awoke.

"We have to do something about Project Omega." Strika concluded in a strategic meeting.

"But how? The Autobots have concealed everything about it. No information could be found." Scrash pointed out.

"We could use infiltration," Megatron suggested, "A spy could be sent to provide us intel about Project Omega."

"Bad idea," Hook shook his helm, "Remembered what happened to Barricade? The Autobots would be especially cautious during the war and will certainly cross-check each of their soldier's records. It is near impossible."

"What about asking for Lockdown's help? That bounty hunter has a knack for bounties, rewards and success." Strika had another idea.

"Lockdown can be considered," Megatron agreed, "I will contact him this solar cycle and offer a few upgrades in exchange for information about Project Omega. But this may take time we do not have. Is there anything else we can do?"

"What about Shockwave? He has that handy size-changing ability of his. Get him to change into an Autobot and send him in." Oil Slick drawled.

"He is still in stasis," Hook shot back, "I will not have him back on duty until he can at least move himself around. If you truly wish for Shockwave to do the job, then you will have to wait."

"We can't wait long. The Autobots have already begun to make their move against the colonies we captured. Unless something is done about this, soon we will be too outnumbered to prevent them from taking the colonies back. We would lose our resources eventually." Sideways said quietly.

"And not to mention a possible super weapon being developed." Straxus muttered.

At this the assembled Decepticons broke into disorganized talk, whispering about the main crisis they were facing and the possible outcomes. Megatron sighed, propping up his helm with one hand. This wouldn't do at all. Some kind of action had to be taken.

"Look, whatever problems we are facing right now can be put aside temporarily. I want all Decepticons concentrating on the researching of Project Omega. Abduct some Autobots. Break into their processors and interrogate them. I don't care what you do, but I want more information about the project by the end of this orbital cycle." Megatron concluded tiredly.

"That would be a step in the right direction," Hook agreed, "We'll take in some prisoners from the next battle."

"But what about the colonies?" Sideways asked.

"We will do what we can to keep them from falling back into Autobot hands. I will be sending you and Scrash to oversee them. However if we do fail, they can keep the colonies. Hopefully by that time we are mobilized for a full scale assault on Iacon. The Autobots will never have enough time to call in reinforcements from their allies."

"If we can ever mobilize." Straxus remarked.

"I want none of your pessimism," Megatron said coldly, "We must mobilize and also find a way to combat the Autobots' newest super weapon. We must win this war at all costs. Meeting dismissed."

* * *

Starscream was in a bad mood. But again, when was he not lately? Everyone could tell from his dark scowl and murderous glint in his optics that the Seeker was to be avoided. They did not want to buffing scratches out of their armor for the rest of the megacycle. A furious Seeker was a violent Seeker.

In his mind he was going over what Megatron had hinted previously and about his loyalty as he proceeded down the main hallway of the Trypticon base to his lab. Starscream didn't want to be loyal to anyone for that matter. He didn't want to be ordered around like a common slave. He was Starscream, esteemed head of the science division and servant to no one!

But still… was a declaration of loyalty enough to make him second? It seemed too easy. Or maybe he could just fake it and hope that Megatron would take the bait. No, that wouldn't do though. The warlord was unusually perceptive and would notice that something wasn't quite right.

But Starscream wanted to be second, slag it! Why wasn't Megatron content with a hard-working subordinate when he wanted his loyalty as well?

As he passed by the command center, the double doors suddenly flew open and a straggle of Decepticons poured out. Starscream recognized them all as the members of Megatron's inner circle of advisors, who must have just gotten off a strategy meeting only for the higher-ups. They were also known as the S Team, for the majority of the mechs in there coincidentally all had names that started with the same letter: Straxus, Strika, Shockwave, Sideways, Skystalker and Scrash.

He scowled darkly again. He would have been among them if he had been promoted the other day.

Megatron was the last to exit, lingering behind a deep-in-discussion Hook and Oil Slick. Starscream was struck by how weary the warlord looked. It was like he had aged years within a day, the way he dragged his pedes along and the slightly stooped posture he held. However when Megatron saw the Seeker, his faceplates twisted into a wry smile as he went to join him.

"Hello, Starscream." He greeted neutrally.

Starscream harrumphed, crossed his arms and deliberately turned down to another hallway. However, this was done in the hope that his leader wouldn't see his blushing faceplates. Many times when he saw Megatron lately, he always remembered the encounter in the command center and how good their lip lock had felt. The Seeker hated the fact that he had enjoyed it instead of pushing the warlord away. He had all but fallen limp in the other's arms and had literally  _whimpered_ when they had separated from that lip lock…

Starscream increased his pace, trying to dismiss the memory away. But he could hear his leader already following him.

"What are you up to this cycle?" Megatron was now by his side.

"Frag off!" The Seeker snapped.

"Come now. I'm only trying to be approachable―"

"And you can stick it, Megatron! You are not touching me again even if it meant my promotion."

At this the warlord sighed exaggeratingly, "Try as I might, I cannot promote you unless my officers agreed to it. They've been less-than-pleased about it in the meeting the solar cycle before."

Now Starscream wasn't that familiar with the inner circle of Decepticon authority, but he knew his leader had to seek his advisors' approval and support before he could do anything major. Hearing that Megatron had brought up the matter of the rank of second-in-command before them and their disapproval didn't surprise him as much as it should. That fragger probably straight out declared that he nominated Starscream because of his thrice slagged interest in the Seeker.

"I don't even want to hear about how  _that_ went _._ " Starcream scowled darkly at his leader, hoping he would take the hint and leave, "Aren't you higher ups supposed to discuss strategy instead?"

"I hate strategy meetings," Megatron groaned, "Whoever thought them up the first place should be subject to a five megacycles one."

Starscream suddenly felt the ridiculous urge to snicker at the warlord's uncharacteristic behavior. Who has ever heard of a war leader despising strategy planning when it was the key to winning battles? It was a miracle then that the Decepticons even gained advantage over the Autobots if this was true.

But he managed to hold that urge back with his curiosity on what they had been actually discussing. He tentatively asked about it.

Megatron waved a hand dismissively, "Same old. Planning the future for the Decepticons, finding a way to solve our energon shortage crisis, deciding what to do with the Autobots' super-weapon-in-development, wondering how we are going to keep the captured colonies from falling into their hands and all that."

Starscream stared. He hadn't been expecting Megatron to just blurt out the confidential details of the meeting like that. Did he glitch or something? Or maybe this was a test that was mentioned earlier.

"I didn't know we had that many problems," Starscream said cautiously, "But if I were you, I would address that energon crisis first. Can't run an army without fuel, can you?"

"Oh? Do you have a plan?" Megatron immediately perked up.

"Not exactly. A… suggestion, I would say." Starscream was becoming more confident that the other had shown his interest. It meant that he was going in the right direction.

"Tell me."

"We rely on the energon mines and raiding the Autobot supplies for our fuel," Starscream remembered some of the data he had gone over when he had researched new ways to process energon and began to recall them, "The mines are slowly being depleted, and now that they have less and less convoys traveling on the roads, we also have less chances to get more. This either means that they are also suffering from a shortage, or they had found a new way to transport energon."

"That makes sense." Megatron agreed.

"They must have a direct source where energon wells up straight from Cybertron's core. It could be transported by a network of pipes to Iacon and all the Autobot city-states. If we could find that source, which is probably located in a city-state, we could capture it and take the energon for ourselves."

"But where is this 'source'? The S Team has discussed this before, and though we came up with several theories, we are still at a loss on the location. Even if we did find it, it would not doubt be guarded by an army like so many of the Autobot city states."

"With all due respect, you can't plan to attack a city state before knowing which one will bring us a tactical advantage. I knew you don't like to strategize, but I didn't know that you are also an apparent hopeless idiot in doing so." Starscream scathingly mocked. He couldn't help it, considering that Megatron had never reprimanded him for it before.

Megatron actually laughed out loud, "Idiot, is it? Really, Starscream. I can't have a second-in-command who insults me more than he aids."

That shut Starscream up.

"Not that I mind, for a leader needs his daily dose of rebukes in order to remain impartial," The warlord said lightly with a wry smile, "Well, start work on finding this energon source then. If you do and successfully free us from this crisis, consider yourself well on your way to promotion."

Starscream was too caught off guard by that unexpected promise to protest when Megatron patted him affectionately on the back and gave him a light kiss on his helm before heading off the opposite direction. He didn't expect either that he passed the supposed test so easily. Maybe he had imagined the whole thing.

Or maybe not. Starscream realized that Megatron looked rather dashing when he smiled.


	8. Incompatible

"According to my researches and intel acquired from our scouts, the Autobots have been using energon directly from the small city-state of Kalis. Previously they were getting fuel from the energon mines in Kaon and since the land is under our control, they had stopped." Starscream mused.

"Isn't that where a fusion reactor is located?" Megatron pointed out.

"Yes it is. But Kalis also serves as a refinery of raw energon directly from the core of Cybertron. At first the Autobots refused to use it because the energon produced there is often laced with nuclear materials, a side effect of the nuclear reactor's presence. But they are left with no choice, though neither are we. Currently it is heavily guarded. The Autobots know that losing Kalis would certain impede their energon supplies greatly."

"We do not have enough forces to mount a full scale assault. What do you suggest, commander Starscream?"

The Seeker scowled at the use of the incorrect title. He was a scientist responsible for data gathering and analyzing, not strategic battle planning. But then he remembered that this was part of the test.

After that run-in with Megatron, Starscream diligently gathered information with Steelstreak's help about this energon deposit, which he was reporting to his leader right now in the crowded mess hall. He had also spent some time to go over possible strategies in actually taking the deposit. Starscream must admit that he was sick of the watery energon the army was forced to consume in order to make their supply last as long as possible. Now their stock was depleted even with all that conservation, the Decepticons had to find more energon soon before they were literally starved to death.

Starscream made it clear to himself that this time he was doing the cause a greater good… and perhaps earn himself a promotion along the way. This had nothing to do with pleasing Megatron and trying to prove himself in front of him, not at all.

"Well?" Megatron reminded.

"A distraction," The Seeker answered, "We need to draw the Autobot forces into thinking that the threat is somewhere else. They would send in reinforcements from Kalis, and then we could stage an ambush when it is emptied. You can consider attacking Altihex or Tarn because these two are the closest."

"They would be expecting it though. We've used this tactic before, so the city-state will not completely empty. They will be keeping surveillance on the skies and the lands around them."

Starscream suddenly realized that he could bear with Megatron much more easily when he was in the practical mood and discussing warfare. He hoped that it would last.

"We can attack from underground, using the pipe network to travel to Kalis. Many of them are large enough for a legion to go through."

Megatron's optics widened, "These are the same pipes that transport energon and sometimes the high level waste materials of the nuclear reactor. Anyone caught in that would dissolve into liquid metal."

"So says the mech who faced down against an entire Autobot legion alone," Starscream snorted at his leader's uncertainty when he recalled the Cycle of Infamy that supposedly sparked the conflict, in which Megatron allegedly fought his way out single-handedly when the Autobots surrounded him, "It would much less risky than that since I have obtained information on the schedule of waste depositing in the pipe network. We could avoid the ones which are in use. Besides, the Autobots would never expect us to use the pipes for travel."

"So do I have to repeat this entire strategy in front of the officers? I should have brought you before them earlier then."

"You realized just now?"

"…Sort of. I'll put your designation in the credits though."

"You fragger! Don't you dare claim my strategy as your own!" Starscream was sorely tempted to slap the other across his faceplates. After explaining diligently his brilliant plan that he spent days in perfecting, Megatron had gone ahead and dismissed it.

"I wouldn't dare, dear Starscream. I wouldn't sink so low as to commit plagiarism. But excellent plan indeed, utilizing the element of surprise in the most unexpected method."

Starscream faltered when Megatron actually praised him instead. He was somewhat elated that a conversation with his leader hadn't led to something more suggestive.

"And if the plan goes spectacularly well, I will hold a celebration. A reward will be also in order for you…" Megatron's tone was thick with innuendo.

Scratch the previous thought.

"Ugh!" Starscream knew the conversation was going to turn into something like this, "You fragger! Stop giving me hints—"

"There jou are, Starscream! I've been looking for jou. There'z zhis thing I vant to show jou, but I can't guarantee jou'd like it! Aha ha ha ha!" Blitzwing suddenly interrupted rudely, sliding into the seat beside the Seeker.

"Vhy, hello zhere, Lord Megatron. Vhat a pleasant surprise, nien?" He addressed the warlord.

"Well, I shall be leaving you two to your own matters. Have a good time." Megatron stood up to leave, but not before bending down to whisper into Starscream's audios.

"I look forward to having you as my second."

One of the warlord's hands trailed along his wing ever so subtly. Before Starscream could make a snappy retort, Megatron was already gone.

* * *

It turned out that all Blitzwing wanted to show the Seeker was his newfound ability to swallow energon and then squirt it out of his olfactory sensors. This caused a small riot among the present Decepticons, who were upset over the precious wasted fuel. Starscream had to quickly drag the still-cackling mech out and deposit him in his quarters, but not before ranting on being interrupted from a very important discussion with his leader. Somehow Blitzwing misinterpreted and blatantly asked if he and Megatron had finally fragged each other. At that Starscream stormed out in a huff, concluding that the other was in an unusually high mood and should be left alone. But Starscream was still thankful for his interruption. Who knew where his conversation with Megatron could have gone?

Then Megatron issued the order to mobilize for battle on an assault against Altihex, a city-state near Kalis. He informed them of Starscream's plan extensively, and the Seeker was pissed that nowhere in the briefing did he mention whose original strategy it was. That slagged glitchhead! How dare he take the credit for his own?! There was no way Megatron himself would have thought up such a brilliant strategy like this!

Starscream had to swallow his anger again, deciding that he would chew his leader out after the battle.

However on the contrary, Megatron was in a very good mood, which he was constantly in for the past few orbital cycles. One of his main concerns had a clear solution, and he was sure that the others would come to pass too. Starscream had an unexpected daringness when it came to strategizing. He and his advisors had come up with a similar plan a while ago, although all of them agreed it was too risky to carry out. But the Seeker had somehow made it all sound plausible. In addition, the Decepticons were more than ready for battle at the prospect of fresh undiluted energon to consume. Even Megatron was weary from the rationed fuel they were forced to take in. He was in for some high grade.

The Decepticons set out almost immediately and divided into two along the journey. Megatron took the majority of the army with him and Starscream the lesser. If the plan worked well, the Kalis team wouldn't have to worry about not having enough.

He sighed when he remembered that Starscream would be leading the separate team. Megatron would have liked to fight with him side by side in battle, having never done so before. But Starscream was needed to navigate the treacherous underground pipe network. Megatron was required to reveal himself to the Autobots so hopefully they would mistake him as the real threat. In other words, he was the bait.

And a tempting one too, he realized as he and his forces surrounded Altihex. The Autobots were the most eager to offline him out of all Decepticons. They would throw everything they got at him now that Megatron had actually stepped out to the front lines to lead his army in battle.

"Lord Megatron!" Lugnut interrupted him from his thoughts, "The Autobots in Altihex are outnumbered and they had sent reinforcements from Kalis. They are approaching as we speak."

"They fell for it." Megatron commented.

"Indeed, my lord. This is a most clever strategy you had come up with. No one can compare with your genius and superior intellect—"

"I didn't plan it." Megatron cut in before Lugnut could rattle off into another five megacycle long speech of praises. A leader needed his flattery sometimes, but too much made him annoyed instead. A pity that Lugnut never seemed to realize that.

Nor would anyone realize that Megatron made this battle plan anonymous on purpose. It wouldn't do to have everyone disregard it just because it didn't come from a trusted strategist, or for Starscream to suffer the jealousy stemming from the warlord's special attention on him. Plus, this withheld knowledge might be the key in having his other officers accept Starscream as a future second.

"But…but…my lord?"

"Thank you, Lugnut. You are dismissed. Take a regiment with you to the skies and report the progress of Autobot reinforcements to me."

As Lugnut stammered his cooperation and left, Megatron sent a message to Starscream over the message network. He frowned. He should really upgrade his army with comm. units one day. But at least the Decepticons found great joy in using emoticons.

**-We have arrived at Altihex and will start assault in a megacycle or two. Autobot reinforcements had set out from Kalis. Requesting status.**

A cycle later he received a reply.

**-We are halfway there using the pipe network and haven't met the danger of nuclear wastes yet. Obviously they use the pipes for sewer drainage too. Stinks to the high heavens down here.**

Megatron grinned despite himself.

**-Don't complain. I'll wash you when this is all over :D**

**-No THANK YOU! Once is enough. Don't you have a battle to fight rather than to go over your daydreams?**

**-It hasn't started yet. I want to wait until the reinforcements arrive before attacking. This way we won't be caught between the Autobot forces. If we're fortunate we can also take Altihex.**

**-If you pull your processor out of the clouds long enough to remember that you still have a battle raging around you. Look, I have to concentrate. We are nearing the reactor.**

**-Good. May you succeed.**

**-As much as I wish to see you tripping over your own pedes in combat, you too.**

Megatron decided to ignore that cheek from Starscream at the end. There would be plenty of chances to banter with his favorite Seeker later. No matter how he wanted actually clean his delicate frame like he mentioned earlier, he had an army to command and a battle to win.

* * *

"Slag it!" Starscream cursed, "Why didn't you warn me earlier?!"

"I did, but it appeared that you did not hear me." Steelstreak replied rather dismissively, fiddling with the datapad in his hand.

"It doesn't matter. Ve need to move on before zhe next wave comes." Blitzwing advised.

Starscream fell silent, but he fumed frustratingly at his team of Steelstreak, the Stunticons, Blitzwing and Oil Slick, chosen especially since they were few of the many who were unlikely to ambush him out of their collective jealousy. It was bad enough that they were forced to wade through the sewer pipes on pede in order to proceed to the ones leading to Kalis. The pipes were at first large enough to fly through in the Decepticons' alt-modes. But the passageway soon grew narrower and narrower until they were forced to proceed on pede. And now that they were in the nuclear waste zone, they had to avoid the waste materials that were emptied in five cycle intervals… each time a different pipe. The team had several close calls coming contact with the erosive substance. In fact, Starscream had just escaped with a few burn marks, which he blamed on the others' failure to warn him. He suspected that they were doing it on purpose despite his careful choosing of his team, for Steelstreak's attitude only served to reinforce this fact. In fact the assistant had been acting odd lately, becoming withdrawn from the others and slack in his work. Still, Starscream needed his aid to monitor the pipes.

To make things worse, the Seeker's claustrophobia was kicking in as time went on, and he could literally feel the walls closing in on him. Long hours isolated from the sky usually reduced him into a blind panic, but Starscream had managed to overcome it to some degree. Now the phobia made him jittery, paranoid and even more snappish than usual instead. It also caused him to be extremely distracted.

So now his own teammates were attempting on his life, weren't they? If this is still about Megatron's affair, Starscream was going to give him a good bash in his faceplates after chewing him out. Slag that Megatron and his flirtations! He literally placed the Seeker's life in danger… and probably didn't know or care the slightest. That was no way the warlord would treat him if he loved him…

Love? Love?! Starscream inwardly shot back. Infatuation, obsession, interest, intrigue, anything but that sappy sentimental thing called love. Megatron wants him in his berth, and he wants to start by appointing him as his second. Improper and inappropriate behavior for a leader! Starscream was many times disgusted by it.

A hand suddenly grasped him at the scruff of his neck and jerked, pulling him out of the way as a torrent of the bright green toxic liquid rushed past.

"Concentrate, Starscream, or jou vill be zhe end of us all." Blitzwing gave him an odd look.

"Thanks." The Seeker stammered, his nerves rattled from the close call. How long did they have to endure more of this? Starscream consulted the datapad in one hand. They were almost there. Three more miles and then they will be emerging into the waste processing facility in Kalis.

Starscream resisted the urge in sigh in relief. He'd rather engage in hand-to-hand physical combat than to traverse the nuclear waste sewage pipes any longer.

* * *

The sky above Altihex was a storm of colors, laser fire from both sides firing thickly at each other. The Decepticons in their flight-capable alt-modes performed elaborate evasive maneuvers in the air to avoid shots fired at them, at the same time returning shots of their own.

Megatron swooped down towards a group of Autobot defenders manning one of the laser cannons that were firing towards the air. He unleashed a few well-aimed blasts from his fusion cannon, effectively disabling the weapon. He then landed, transformed and without stopping, drew his twin swords to plow into the stunned Autobots. They fell away easily.

"Look, it's Megatron himself!" Someone shouted, "Gather reinforcements to Sector Five and concentrate all attacks on him!"

Slag. He shouldn't have revealed himself like this. But Megatron couldn't help showing off sometimes. As more Autobots poured forth from the alleys, the warlord simply aimed his cannon at them and allowed it to charge to full power. The resulting blast incinerated several of them and sent the rest scurrying for cover.

Megatron smiled grimly. He had already taken too many Autobot lives to feel crippling guilt over it. Sometimes sacrifices had to be made for the greater good, for the hope that the Autobots will one day realize that they are fighting for a corrupt government and acknowledge the need to change. Until then Megatron was willing to wage this war against them as long as it takes. At first he had attacked the colonies as a warning to the Autobots. But when they refused to back down, he gradually turned to the Autobot city-states. One day though, he would finally bring his army to assault Iacon directly and overthrow the Cybertronian ruling council by force. The corrupt jurisdiction had been allowed free reign for too long—

 **\- Lord Megatron, we are taking a beating at the south wall of the city. If you can spare your aft in battle, do something!** Strika notified.

 **\- Coming.** He could have spent an entire solar cycle reminiscing of the war, but first they had to keep the Autobots distracted long enough.

As Megatron transformed into his Cybertronian jet fighter mode and flew towards the provided coordinates, his thoughts turned back to Starscream again. He hoped he already emerged from the underground and started his assault on Kalis. The sooner it was done, the better. Megatron had already received some more notices from Straxus and Blackout that their troops were having a hard time handling the Autobots' defense. Fortunately they were only a distraction, or they probably would be defeated again in this battle. But true victory would eventually be theirs.

* * *

"The next wave should be coming in three cycles through Pipe 4A. That's five rows away from us." Steelstreak reported.

"Five rows? Then why bother with it?" Wildrider grumbled.

"Unless you wanna be melted down into a puddle of goo just because of a failure to monitor the pipes, be my guest." Dead End shot back.

Starscream resisted the urge to fire his null-rays at the arguing mechs. It seemed like as time went on, everyone's mood worsened until even the most innocent comment sparked a clash of opinions. At least they got better at maneuvering in the pipes and were nearing the exit. They hadn't met a close call for awhile. In another five cycles they would be finally out. Starscream was looking forward to an open space again, so he decided he could tolerate a little more of the bickering among the team.

A distant clang somewhere ahead caught their attention. All of them immediately readied their weapons and pointed them towards the source of the sound.

"Show yourself!" Starscream commanded. There was nothing, but he was beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"Uh…Screamer old chap? I don't think that was someone." Oil Slick uttered uneasily.

"Don't call me that," The Seeker snapped back, "And if some mech didn't make that noise, who did? There is no one but us down here."

"The Motor Master volunteers to scout ahead." The leader of the Stunticons declared.

"No," Blitzwing shook his helm, "I've heard zhat sound before when ve got nearer to our destination. Every time when zhe nuclear waste was emptied, a gate at zhe reactor would open and shut vith zhe same sound."

"You mean that our pipe is going to be flooded with corrosive nuclear waste?! What are we waiting for?! Run!" Breakdown screamed.

"Hold it!" Dragstrip restrained the paranoid mech with some difficulty, "Steelstreak said that the next wave would come at the pipe five rows down!"

Just then there was a rushing sound that came from ahead, accompanied by a familiar green glow that gradually flowed nearer.

"Can we panic now?" Breakdown whimpered.

"Yes." Starscream shouted as he sprang into action, "Get out of the way!"

Each Decepticon ran, some to jump into neighboring pipes and some activating their thrusters to speed away where they had room to hover safely above. Even in his arising panic, Starscream made sure every Decepticon was out of sight before running to search for his own safe spot. However he was suddenly tackled from the side. Taken by surprise, Starscream fell hard with his unknown assailant landing on top of him. There was a click, and his frame was paralyzed with an electrical charge as his wrists were bound by a pair of stasis cuffs. Starscream then panicked. He tried to thrash his way free but found he was completely unable to move. He tried to shout and lash out at the mysterious mech. Nothing worked.

What was going on?! Who had attacked him?! Why?! He didn't want to die like this! He must get free now or he would be liquid metal in the next few seconds.

The mech who had attacked Starscream then leaned close until all he saw were his two burning red optics. Even in his predicament, Starscream could not help but notice the crazed light in them. His horror was further enhanced ten-fold when he realized that mech was Steelstreak himself.

"You've seduced Lord Megatron long enough. Time to end your promiscuity!"

Before the Seeker could even comprehend what those words meant, Steelstreak suddenly let out a terrible cry and fell backwards with a sizzling wound in his shoulder. The next few nanokliks after that was pandemonium. Two hands grabbed at Starscream, one taking the stasis cuffs and snapping them in two. Then he was hoisted over a shoulder and tossed up towards a grille in the ceiling. A familiar accented voice told him to hold on tight.

Starscream managed to do so in his now half-paralyzed state. In his muddled mind he realized that Blitzwing had sacrificed his own safe area and was now in danger of being eroded by the waste flow. The Seeker reached out a hand weakly, but Blitzwing waved furiously and mouthed that he would find another way.

There was no time, and though Starscream was annoyed by the other more times he could count, he wasn't about to let him die like this. He gathered his strength to lunge forward, grasp the other's hand and managed to haul him up as he fired up his thrusters so that he could flatten himself safely against the top. For a moment Starscream's grip threatened to give, but he remembered yelling at Blitzwing to do the same. Then the wave hit them.

For a few seconds there was only a roaring noise in his audios. Starscream was only aware of maintaining death grips on both the grille and Blitzwing's hand so hard that his fingers dented as the liquid waste rushed past. Then it was over.

He dropped tiredly from the ceiling, landing beside Blitzwing with a crash. It was after awhile before Starscream was able to collect his wits and start to think again. He noticed the other's frame was smoking slightly from several severe burn holes in the armor.

"Blitzwing!" The Seeker exclaimed, kneeling down to examine the extent of damage.

"I'll… be fine." Blitzwing managed to rasp out, "Avoided most… of zhe wave. Probably survive vith… cosmetic damages…"

"Ugh… that was one heck of a mess. Let's hurry up and get out of here. Carry Blitzwing along." Oil Slick thankfully took charge here. Motor Master was dispatched to carry the jet's now unconscious frame and Starscream ordered to proceed leaning on Oil Slick's shoulder. He was still suffering from the paralyzing energy of the stasis cuffs to walk on his own.

As for Steelstreak, he was nowhere to be seen. He must have been swept away and melted into liquid by now.

Starscream couldn't actually believe that the bright quick-minded Steelstreak had assaulted him like this. He had selected him to be his assistant because of his meek obedience and diligent work. That crazed mech with distorted faceplates and his mouth twisted in an insane grin couldn't possibly be the same Steelstreak he had known for quite some time now.

The Decepticons were now whispering among themselves about the narrow escape and that unexpected attack. Several blamed poor Breakdown, who was notorious for drawing misfortunes.

"Never expected Steelstreak to go insane like that, hmm? Never thought he had it in him. He would have killed us all by reporting wrong information like that. Lucky I was there to save you with that dart in the shoulder, huh? You owe me one now. One would think that old coot is aiming to offline you…" Oil Slick kept up a steady stream of chatter as they continued on. Starscream was content to ignore him though. He was now buried in his thoughts and reviewing the strange event now that the exhilaration of it was over.

He thought of what had made Steelstreak snap. The mech certainly had the intention to offline. He was even willing to put the entire Kalis operation in danger just to offline Starscream. Then he mentioned seducing Megatron and his promiscuity…

Starscream gritted his dentas when he realized where this originated. Although Steelstreak was a quiet mech, he was one of the many who held Megatron in adoration and almost  _worship._ He must haveresented the attention Starscream got from his leader… and suddenly just happened to get desperate. Slag that fragger! Because of him Starscream and his entire team was put in danger.

Even as they emerged from the pipes and stormed the nuclear reactor facility in stealth, taking each and every Autobot out with Oil Slick's gas bombs and well-aimed shots, Starscream was unable to concentrate anymore. His joy at the prospect of fresh energon, anticipation of battle, dread towards Megatron's promised reward and every emotion he had experienced for the past few orbital cycles in dealing with his leader all faded away as he realized one fact.

Megatron was indirectly responsible, and incidents like this would continue to happen when he least expected in battle. For Starscream, war would no longer be a matter of fighting for the cause he believed in, but a survival game that tested how long he would survive before giving up either his life or his effort to prove himself before his leader. It didn't require time to decide.

It was all incompatible. Starscream was unwilling to risk his life for a fragger who wasn't serious about this whole promotion. No position in the army was enough to make him to put his safety on the line like this, let alone give his leader his complete loyalty. Starscream should have left when Megatron had given the offer. He should have known that this would happen.

But at the same time he was strangely reluctant to throw everything behind. He hated nothing more than giving up so easily after he had endured the other's jealousy for so long. It can't all end this pathetically, it can't…

Starscream wasn't sure whether sure he should sigh in relief or wail in despair. He wasn't even sure what he was feeling now.


	9. Indecision

Kalis was quickly taken under the Decepticons' unexpected attack. Soon every Autobot in the city-state was either offline or captured. When the forces fighting in Altihex heard of this news, they increased their assault with a renewed vigor. And they had actually won even with the Autobot reinforcements. Both city-states were now theirs.

Megatron was very elated indeed, so happy that he could have done a victory dance in front of his troops. But no, he wouldn't do that. He still had his dignity to keep. Megatron did throw a celebration though, and that night the Decepticons gorged themselves on energon after rerouting the pipes to Kaon, or high grade, to be more specific. Many of them were over-energized already, stumbling around the command center while rambling incoherently.

Starscream's plan was extremely successful, which not only gained them the needed resources but also a bonus city-state. If the Seeker could come up with more ingenious plans like this, the Decepticons could very well win many more battles in the future. Starscream would make a fine second-in-command indeed; he certainly had the capability and talent. It was definitely better to have him serve as Megatron's closest advisor in matters of war instead of spending most of his solar cycles holed up in that small lab of his.

Still, in the middle of his good mood, Megatron felt a little disappointed when he thought of Starscream's strange behavior. The Seeker had been acting distant ever since he came back. He already had his suspicions when it was Oil Slick who reported the taking of Kalis instead of Starscream. And when Megatron met with his team, Starscream hadn't even glanced at his direction, keeping his helm deliberately lowered.

The warlord sighed as he downed another cube of high grade. He hoped it was his imagination bothering him, that it would soon go away when he over-energized.

* * *

Starscream emerged from the medical bay with all his burn wounds buffed out. Hook had warned him not to exert himself too much next time in battle, but the Seeker wasn't listening.

He wandered aimlessly down the corridor to nowhere in particular, his mind still going over what had happened in the pipes. His first concern had been Blitzwing, who was immediately treated after their return. Hook had diagnosed that much of the jet's internal systems had been eroded to some degree, though most were replaceable and he will soon recover. But Blitzwing's transformation cog was damaged beyond repair. He wouldn't be able to transform until he received a donor.

It was all Megatron's fault.

Starscream clenched his fists as he recalled the Steelstreak's last words.

_You've seduced Lord Megatron long enough. Time to end your promiscuity!_

It was because of his leader that he and his team was placed in danger like this. He probably didn't even know it!

The Seeker scowled again. And this happened just after he was starting to tolerate that fragger! Starscream must admit that he had been seeing Megatron in a new light lately when he wasn't being seductive. He started to find his leader's immature actions quite endearing and often had to resist the urge to giggle. He secretly enjoyed that little pre-battle bantering they had. And the way Megatron's faceplates twisted into that devilishly handsome smirk which he previously found irritating now had him melting on the inside…

Why? Why?! Why did he get into this mess the first place? He could have totally ignored Megatron when he first approached him. Instead he responded back with his deliberate intention to make the others jealous and with his request to be made second and before he knew it, they were playing this courting game.

A dangerous courting game that nearly got him killed.

This cannot continue on. Starscream had to stop it before anything like that incident happened again. Before the Decepticons lost a key battle against the Autobots just because of a jealous mech trying to get rid of his rival. Any other mech he bothered to tell his situation about would immediately advise him to break it off with his leader. In fact Skyfire wouldn't have waited until today and would have done so right after Starscream told him about Shockwave's threat. The Seeker could have saved himself from all this in the first place as he now fully regretted that he even had the foolish idea to rouse the jealousy of the others.

But there was no Skyfire, the kindly space shuttle who had rescued the Seeker so many times from potentially nasty situations he had created. There was only himself and the mentally unstable Blitzwing, the latter being in induced stasis from his wounds. Starscream was on his own, and now even he could see what had to be done.

Starscream can do it. He can cut off all ties to Megatron and completely ignore him. He never really developed any feelings for him beyond toleration anyways. It shouldn't even take much effort, if any at all.

Unknowingly, Starscream's wandering brought him to the command center from which shouts and off-key singing reached his audios. He pulled himself from his morbid thoughts and curiously went to investigate. What was going on in there?

The double doors flew open to reveal Decepticons all over the place, sprawled over the consoles and lying on the floor. Some were stumbling around in an erratic fashion before tripping over their own pedes to join their comrades on the ground. Empty cubes and pink energon spills littered the place. All in all, the normally-orderly command center was a mess.

Starscream was about to take a deep breath and yell at them for this unconventional behavior before he remembered that Megatron had promised to throw a celebration for today's victory. Starscream had failed to recognize it as a high grade drinking party.

Ugh… he hated those. Never saw the point in getting wasted and waking up with a pounding headache the next day. By the way, where was Megatron? Shouldn't he be supervising the entire thing?

A shadow moved at one side, and Starscream was suddenly swept off his pedes and crushed against a larger familiar spiky frame.

"Ah, Starscream!" Megatron's somewhat disgruntled voice reached him, "You missed all the fun!"

"Argh! Get off, you afthead!" Starscream could smell the strong odor of high grade emitting from his leader. That fragger himself was over-energized already! He tried to pry at Megatron's surprisingly firm grip around his thin waist, but it didn't budge. He was stuck with the intoxicated mech when he wanted to avoid him the most.

"Now that is no way to treat your leader. But I don't care really. Here, have a cube." Megatron slurred, shoving an empty container in front of the Seeker. He at first refused to take it, and then did so out of the hope that Megatron would release him. No such luck. Instead the warlord flung his arm over Starscream's shoulder and proceeded to stagger into the hallways.

"Man, you should try the high grade. Powerful stuff, it is. Prolly will knock you out in one cube."

"And probably knocked you out in half!" Starscream renewed his struggle, "Now release me at once!"

"I still hafta congratulate you. Without you, no high grade! And the whole thing went smoothly too. The Autobots never knew you were coming, and then you were like 'Gotcha, Autofools!' and then the whole thing was over! Easy as pie!"

That's it. Starscream's temper boiled over. All his frustration, disappointment and stress burst forth in an angry torrent. With a strength surprising even himself, the Seeker grasped Megatron's arm and flung it as hard as he could. The larger mech immediately lost his balance and hit the ground hard.

"You think it was so easy?!" He screamed at his dazed leader, not caring if he was listening or not, "We were almost killed in the tunnels! The high grade you were so happily drinking was bought by the toil of my team. And you have the nerve to call it 'easy as pie'?! Of course you didn't know what happened. You were drunk off your aft!"

With that, Starscream stormed off furiously to his room, but not before hurling the empty cube at Megatron's helm. He entered and threw himself onto his berth, still seething with suppressed anger. But Starscream soon found himself sobbing miserably instead the next few cycles.

What was wrong with him? One moment he was in shock from the underground pipe incident, then he was angrily accusing his leader for it, afterwards he was loath to make the decision to leave Megatron and now he was crying?

Starscream later fell into recharge in tears. He wasn't sure how he could get up and face the next solar cycle. Heck, he was even sure how he was going to cope with this entire thing. But he knew he shouldn't have got into it the first place and was now suffering the consequences.

* * *

This solar cycle was going to be a nightmare.

Perhaps it was already made obvious when the first thing Megatron did in the morning when he onlined was to bolt to his personal washracks and empty his churning tanks in the waste receptacle. Then he was left with a pounding headache that grew worse as time passed by along with the acrid taste of half-processed energon in his mouth. It was a miracle that he made his way back to his quarters last night.

Megatron managed to drag himself to the command center, already dreading the coming work. He inwardly sighed when he saw the large room still scattered with the remains of the celebration from last night. Megatron had gotten over-energized, he knew, after downing three cubes of high grade in a row. Being a lightweight, he should have known better.

Megatron plunked into his throne heavily and allowed his helm to thud against his desk. All he wanted to do right now was to just go back to his berth to recharge, preferably with his favorite Seeker curled up beside him…

Speaking of Starscream, Megatron had a nagging feeling that he had done something to upset him without meaning to. Starscream had refused to look at him when he returned, and now he was completely avoiding him. For one, he wasn't at his usual spot in the lab this morning.

What had happened? Didn't he part with Starscream with a rather amiable mood? He even had the audacity to show some of his snark back them.

Ugh… even thinking was starting to make Megatron's helm ache further. Perhaps he should take it easy for the day.

Or not. His thoughts soon turned back to Starscream again. Maybe his attitude change had something to do with the attack in the tunnels. Megatron was the most outraged when he heard of this report immediately after the Kalis team's return. His lab assistant ( _his lab assistant,_ for spark's sake!) had directly targeted Starscream with the intent to offline. If he hadn't perished by the acidic toxic waste, then Megatron would have executed the mech himself for daring to assault his Seeker.

But still… why did it cause Starscream to avoid him? If Megatron had to know the reason, then he had to know the full story.

He planned to ask Blitzwing first. From his observance, he and Starscream were close comrades and should know something the others didn't. Megatron had to wait several days though for Blitzwing's recovery though.

These few said solar cycles were a torture for him. Although the Decepticons were now full of energon and content, Megatron was in a bitter mood. He hadn't seen Starscream in days, literally. He still received reports and other statistics from him but other than that, it was like the Seeker had vanished. He wasn't in his lab when Megatron went to look. His room was always locked, so that was out of the question.

Megatron had sent at least three messages inquiring about Starscream's absence, with the most recent one bordering on the edge of a threat.

**\- You have at least one orbital cycle to do something before I blast down the door of your room and demand an explanation from you.**

Then the other blocked him after that. But at least he had gotten a response out of Starscream.

This whole avoiding was frustrating him as time went on, and he envied Starscream a little for having a mech he could confide in. The warlord was completely on his own.

Finally with a note from Hook that he could only visit Blitzwing for ten cycles, Megatron entered the med bay apprehensively and approached where the recovering mech lay on his berth.

"A surprise to see jou here, Lord Megatron," Blitzwing rotated his helm to face the warlord, "Iz zhere something jou require of me?"

"Hook said you damaged your transformation cog beyond repair, did he?" He felt the need to first inquire of the other's health.

Blitzwing sighed sadly, "Yes. I can no longer transform. A great inconvenience, nien?"

"You can still fight. I will place you in Straxus' ground troops." Megatron promised.

"Thank jou. Zhat vill be acceptable."

"Blitzwing, I meant to ask you about the attack in the tunnels. Starscream is not being himself, and I have feeling that it was responsible for it." Megatron changed the topic as he seated himself beside the injured mech.

"He is being stressed as of late," Blitzwing agreed, "Zhe attack unsettled him greatly."

"Is there something more to it?"

"Vell… Steelstreak did tell him something about you… and seducing… and about promiscuity? I'm not sure. I only heard fragments."

Megatron felt a familiar chill run down his backstrut at the words. This seemed to be another scenario he was horribly familiar with.

"Jou don't think it has anything to do vith… zhat, don't jou?" Blitzwing confirmed his suspicions.

Megatron didn't answer. He was too deep in his thoughts.

He can't believe that it happened again, that the Decepticons were fighting over something like this. Megatron hadn't meant to start the courting rivalry, but was simply speaking to Shockwave over some matters. Then his second had unexpectedly brought up the attention he was attracting from most Decepticons.

"Perhaps it is your stately visage," Shockwave had mentioned, "But almost every mech in this faction had been hopefully looking forward into courting you. I think you should do something to discourage it if you do not wish to participate in such activities."

"Perhaps I should. I suppose that if I ever so much mentioned that I was seeking a mate, the entire army would respond." Megatron hadn't taken the warning seriously back then, nor had minded the Decepticons' interest in him. He  _was_ rather young and good-looking compared to most, and sometimes even enjoyed the almost adoring attention he had received from his subordinates.

But somehow this conversation was overheard, distorted and spread throughout the entire faction and before Megatron knew it, mechs and femmes were all clamoring openly for a chance to court him. At first he was quite pleased at this sudden competition because it cemented his leadership and did away with any oppositions the Decepticons might have against him, not to mention the inpouring of various gifts that often proved useful. Megatron had resolved to maintain an easygoing attitude to those suitors and have them remain favorable with him for the duration of the war… until Starscream came along.

The Seeker was part of the reason why the warlord started to break up this whole courting thing by declaring himself single shortly after his initiation. In addition, Megatron had caught three mechs brawling in the main corridor of the base with a large crowd cheering them on. He was less than pleased when he discovered the fight stemmed from a disagreement arguing what kind of mech their leader would prefer. This was totally unacceptable behavior in an army, and Megatron soon made his declaration also for the sake of keeping the Decepticons ready for battle. He did not need his army turning on itself just to gain their leader's attention.

Didn't Megatron make it clear in the clearest way possible that he wanted Starscream and would accept no other? The Seeker was the first mech he truly desired for interfacing, not because of some obscure reason or just the need to fool around. He simply  _wanted_ Starscream, and he would have him one way or the other. There were others fighting over his attention and preventing him from pursuing his interest? Fine then, the warlord would shove them all aside in favor for Starscream. No Decepticon would possess the nerve to defy his decisions.

But why hadn't Megatron thought of what might happen to the other? The Seeker must have been blaming him for placing his life in danger. Slag it all for happening again! He should have come up with a failsafe plan a long time ago before the war had started up once more. Only sheer luck prevented the Kalis operation from being a complete failure.

It was only now that Megatron realized how serious the situation was and felt almost ashamed how he so casually dealt with his pursuers. He had been a fool for placing the other's life in danger like this. In a way, he was directly responsible for the incident in the tunnels.

Megatron's first impulse was to appoint Starscream second-in-command as soon as he could. It was one of the surest ways of protection, and would serve as a message to every mech that Megatron would no longer change his mind and that whoever harmed Starscream would have their leader's rage to answer to. He should have been more careful in the first place. Forget his desire to be intimate with the Seeker for now, he had to do something to compensate. Forget also his intention to test Starscream for his loyalty and abilities when his life was at stake. He could always do it after he becomes his new second.

It was the least Megatron can do now to make things right.

"Megatron! If you don't finish your visitation in the next three cycles, I will kick you out even if you were the supreme ruler of Cybertron itself!" Hook's irritated voice reached him. Slag. He must have exceeded the time limit by now.

"Blitzwing, I was just wondering if I couldn't find Starscream anywhere on the base, then where would he be?" Megatron asked hurriedly. He had no idea why that question came up, but it seemed logical that the other would know where Starscream was.

"He usually shuts himself in his lab or his room. And he likes a certain ledge on zhe west roof. Says it's his favorite thinking spot, so its zhe most likely spot for him to be."

"Thank you for your information. I wish you a swift recovery." He stood up quickly to leave.

Megatron had a Seeker to find and possibly, to promote for sure.


	10. Inconsolable

_He wasn't sure what was happening. One cycle he was drifting in his own subconscious, a chaotic muddle of his thoughts and recollections, and the next thing he knew he was leaning on something cozily warm against him._

_He was seated on someone's lap with his legs wrapped around the other's waist. Though he couldn't really see the mech, he could feel his large arms encircling his lithe frame protectively. Normally he would have sprung out in horror if a mech had dared to touch him like this. But right now his processor was pleasantly fuzzy with drowsiness, so that warmth was particularly heavenly._

_The Seeker wriggled a little in the embrace, and one of the other's hands moved up to stroke the back of helm softly. Starscream purred in content as he lazily looped his arms around the other's helm._

_"I hope you are recovering well. If you had perished in the tunnels back there, I would have blamed myself for eternity." The mech's rich deep voice held a mournful tone._

_"…?!" The Seeker immediately looked up. That voice was so familiar, and yet he couldn't exactly place it. But mysteriously enough, he couldn't get a clear visual of the other's faceplates. For some reason his optics refused to focus on the unrecognizable blur that was his features. The only thing visible was his two slanted crimson optics._

_"Who are you?" Starscream whispered._

_The mech didn't reply, but the Seeker's vision cleared just a little to reveal the bitter smile on his lips._

Starscream onlined before he could see more in that dream. For a long cycle he lay in his berth without moving, staring at the bare ceiling of his quarters as he recalled. He often cursed the fact that he was much slower to think in his dreams than in reality. He should have known it was Megatron even when he felt the other's bulky frame against his.

He also cursed that it was always his leader who turned up in his dreams for the last few solar cycles. What was it about him that had his subconscious' attention like this?! The dreams' interpretation of his leader was hardly correct either. Megatron was far from the incarnation of the warlord he had seen in them, in which he became solemnly thoughtful and mysterious. Besides, he would  _never_ let Megatron that close to him, nor would that insufferable pervert become serious for once. He would never hold the Seeker in a warm embrace without groping at his frame―

Starscream suddenly swung out of his berth, out the door and into the empty hallways of the base. He needed to get out and think clearly before he started to admit that he actually liked the feeling of being held like that.

Reaching the entrance, he activated his pede thrusters and flew towards the top to his favorite ledge. Once there, Starscream set down again with his pedes hanging over the edge. The place was large enough for at least five mechs to stand side by side, and that was why he loved it. He had found the area on one of his relaxation flight around the base, and no other mech knew of it. For a cycle he simply watched the indigo night sky dotted sparsely with stars and occasionally, the brighter light of a nearby planet.

Starscream fell back into his troubling thoughts again. He thought of the reason about why he left. He had hoped that he would be safe from opposition, that he would be happier without all those complicated emotions. He would be relieving a great burden. But everything he was experiencing so far went against this hope. Starscream grew progressively anxious these past few solar cycles. His thoughts always wandered back to Megatron no matter how hard he tried to wrench them back. His leader's constant messaging, which he ignored, also did not help at all. And those dreams at night which left him sleepless for so many times...

Starscream gritted his dentas. Why? Why couldn't he completely cut himself off? His logic wanted to do it, but his subconscious said otherwise. What was it about Megatron that he couldn't bring himself to separate from? There was absolutely  _nothing_ about him, even his admittedly pleasurable touch, that was worth risking his life like this.

He thought about the warlord, whom he found to be completely irritating at first. Megatron had always appeared when he least wanted him to show up, gave him so much unwanted attention and acted so immaturely smug at all times even as he made his futile attempts to court the Seeker. But lately his leader had been toning it down since the war had started up again, and Starscream was able to see a little more on what kind of mech Megatron was apart from his initial perception. Then there were the seemly unimportant events that had made him hesitate before trying to rage at the warlord, like the time when Megatron had apparently took it upon himself to install a database organizing program in his console that Starscream found extremely useful, when he suddenly found managing the budget for his research work much easier recently and many more.

It was as if Megatron had started to take it more seriously by doing these things. The more Starscream dwelt upon it, the more he began to think that it was rather sweet of his leader. If Megatron had tried to approach him in the same way at the beginning, maybe the Seeker would have actually considered―

Starscream allowed his helm to droop into both of his hands. He was going to kill himself if he kept thinking like this.

"Cheer up, Starscream." A voice spoke lightly behind him.

He almost leapt out of his pedes from surprise when he turned to face Megatron emerging from the shadows behind. The warlord took no notice and merely sat down beside him. Starscream longed to snarl in irritation when he had recovered from this unexpected turn of events. Why did Megatron have to always turn up at the worst possible time? First at the drinking party and now this! And how did he know he was going to be here in his private space?

"I knew you were still on base somewhere. If not in the inside, why not on the outside? I've been lingering around for awhile, so don't try to run after so many solar cycles I'd managed to find you."

Starscream wasn't planning to run. He was tired of it, and he decided to just face this without emotion. Perhaps if he ignored Megatron long enough, he would eventually leave.

"You've being acting odd recently," The other continued, "Is there something you wish to tell me?"

"..."

"Don't give me the silent treatment. If it was about that surprise attack in the tunnels, I have to know more about it."

"Why can't you leave me alone?" Starscream was unable to keep his silence any longer, now that the incident was mentioned, "Steelstreak's attack happened because of you, and it nearly cost me the lives of my team. It placed the entire Kalis operation at risk!"

"I never meant for that to happen, and I apologize for it." Megatron lowered his helm, "I should have kept better discipline among the Decepticons."

"Slag right you should."

There was a long silence, and Starscream could literally feel his leader's discomfort radiating from him. But he was a little surprised though. He hadn't expected Megatron to seek him out just to apologize.

"I am going to make you my second-in-command." Megatron said abruptly.

Starscream whipped around to stare at his leader. Wait, what? Why would that fragger choose such a time to bring this up? Was this even relevant?

"What are you trying to do, Megatron? If you're seeking for my forgiveness, you would have to do better!"

"I thought you wanted to be promoted," The warlord's tone turned sardonic, "If I recall, you were the one who messaged me first."

Unable to find a remark to shoot back, Starscream fell silent again. The anxiety of his promotion that had been nagging at his mind back then started to surface. He suddenly remembered something Megatron had mentioned when they met privately to discuss the promotion.

"What happened to your test of my loyalty?"

"Your own protection is more important now. As my second, the Decepticons would not be so bold to attempt an assassination on you."

Protection? Starscream had to shove down his immediate thought that how sweet Megatron was to think of that. But when he remembered why the attack happened in the first place, his temper flared up again.

"You who put me in danger now offer me protection instead? Do you have any idea how many times I regretted getting swept up in your game? You've brought me nothing but trouble so far!" The Seeker accused.

"Nothing but trouble?" Megatron pretended to look offended, "Surely not. Admit it; you liked it when I kissed you."

"Argh!" Starscream let out a frustrated snarl. That Megatron! He couldn't stand him anymore. "I don't even know why I went through the trouble of associating with you. You're not worth it! You are a disgusting glitch-headed pervert, a pompous aft-head and a leader who thinks he could do anything just because he could boss over everyone and sit back while everyone does the hard work…!"

Megatron's hand suddenly shot out, grasped him by the chin and effectively prevented him from speaking. For a nanoklik Starscream thought his leader was going to kiss him again, and that thought alone made his frame tingle in anticipation despite his earlier words. But Megatron's optics were smoldering with an inner fire, his expression grim and unyielding. The Seeker froze. He had never seen his leader act like this. Perhaps he did go over the line this time.

"I am able to take insults without angering easily, Starscream," Megatron said in a low voice, "But you are not to direct them at my leadership. I am not about to allow my position for which I shed too much energon and sacrifices to be put into question."

Starscream was completely speechless by now. He had never seen this side of Megatron before. Previously he always thought his leader to be flamboyant and casual, but now it seemed like he had another personality to him. A much darker personality he kept hidden. For the first time Starscream was actually scared of the warlord, that he might actually harm him.

But Megatron sighed instead, released his grip and allowed his frame to slump dejectedly.

"I'm sorry, Starscream. My fatigue is finally beginning to catch up with me." And just like that, it was over.

"Becoming the leader of all Decepticons was a long and hard path for me. I am ready to dedicate my life to my cause and see to it that we achieve our goal," Megatron said wistfully, "I know you would aid me greatly as my second, and I want you to stand by my side as my trusted advisor after we took Kalis and Altihex. You proved your capability in our success."

Starscream didn't buy the other's words so easily, for Megatron had spoken the same words while he was calling the Decepticons to arms. He didn't want to believe that he had already proved himself and was now considered capable despite the higher ups' objections.

But what about the offer? Megatron had definitely wanted to make him his second. What good would come out of it, other than the power and possible protection? Starscream would be closer to Megatron than ever, at the same time becoming even more distanced from the others. He would be an outcast.

What happened to his desire to prove himself and to receive authority? It was as if since the taking of Kalis and Altihex, Starscream had lost his intense desire to be promoted. He had once struggled between this desire and the disgust in being groped by his leader. But things were no longer like this anymore.

He wanted to scream in frustration. Why? Why did he get caught up in the first place? Everything was so simple back then when he first joined the Decepticons. And now getting involved in this game with Megatron was giving him more mood swings than he had in an entire stellar cycle.

What feelings did Starscream hold for his leader anyways? Infatuation? Slight interest? Intrigue? The desire to be touched more intimately? He wasn't even sure anymore.

"Starscream." Megatron's concerned voice reached him, and the tone of it caught his attention. The other seemed to be completely serious for once while speaking to him.

"You seem to imply that I am the one who forced you into this so-called 'game'. Fine, I admit that I first gave you the invitation. But you were the one who chose to accept it."

"Hmph…" Starscream sulked. Megatron had a point there.

"I will give you the protection you need. I am also willing to be responsible for all harm that befalls you. Whether you like it or not, I am responsible for you, Starscream. I will not allow you to be injured because of me… not again." The last words were whispered, so the Seeker failed to hear them.

"I don't need your protection, if you can even call it that." Starscream returned bitterly, "If I leave you alone and you do the same, I would be safer."

Suddenly in a flash, he was pressed against the other's larger frame in a crushing embrace from Megatron. Starscream immediately stiffened, expecting any moment now his leader would start groping him. But Megatron simply held him without moving with his arms wrapped securely around the Seeker.

"I will apologize as many times as it will take to rectify this," He murmured, "But I must ask you not to leave, Starscream. It was my own fault that you had suffered so much among the Decepticons; I should have done something sooner, and in that I have failed my duty as the leader of the Decepticons."

Starscream was struck by how tender the warlord sounded when he spoke those words and how his spark threatened to melt in its chamber because of them. His confusion increased though. Why was Megatron suddenly acting like this, like he genuinely cared about what had happened in the tunnels and wanted to prevent further harm to the Seeker? He wanted to believe that it was a trick trying to lure him to his leader's good side, back to the danger that he should have known better to avoid. But it sure didn't look like it; there was none of Megatron's usual inappropriate innuendos and ridiculous attempts to gain his attention.

Try as he might, Starscream couldn't force himself to deny the warmth that blossomed in his spark when he thought upon the other's words, that Megatron was actually sorry for placing him into this situation. Being held close by the larger mech did not help at all, for Megatron's frame was comfortingly warm to lean against. At that moment all his uncertainty, frustration and inner conflict was forgotten. Megatron wanted him to stay, and Starscream was loath to disagree.

Still, there was a part of him that demanded an explanation for all this. He managed to straighten himself up and look at his leader directly.

"What do you want with me?" Starscream asked in a quiet voice, "Why did you pick me out of all the mechs here?"

Why indeed, the Seeker had wondered many times. Apart from interest in his appealing frame, there had to be another reason. Megatron should have given up as soon as Starscream had harshly rejected his advances, which obviously wasn't the case if he had decided to seek him out like this. Starscream doubted it was done out of the simple desire to exchange words, and his curiosity increased when he saw brief hesitation flash across his leader's countenance.

Megatron didn't reply straight away. He merely fixed Starscream with an unfathomable look in his optics that made him slightly uncomfortable, so much that he didn't notice how close their faceplates now were. For a cycle time had frozen for him, for both of them. Starscream found himself mesmerized by the close up view of his leader and discovered that the larger mech was stunningly attractive when he wasn't acting like an immature pervert. His features were boldly outlined by the black markings that framed the sides of his faceplates and chin, giving him a refined and sophisticated look. However, Starscream noticed for the first time that Megatron also wore a strangely melancholy expression when he was being serious. It was as if he had a heavy burden he had never managed to shed or a regret he always remembered despite the passing of stellar cycles.

For some reason, this observation served to dissolve his will as he realized that Megatron yet another side to him, one that intrigued him more than anything else so far out of him. The close contact with his leader furthermore seemed to weaken his limbs.

Starscream wanted to shove him aside, fire up his thrusters and flee from the scene, but he couldn't summon strength to even move. This was wrong; he shouldn't be indulging in this when he had obviously made up his mind to distance. Megatron may have caught him off guard by his apparent concern, but it wasn't enough.

The silence stretched on, and the warlord finally broke it as he leaned in until all Starscream could see were his crimson optics. This time, there seemed to be an inexpressible hunger in them.

"I don't need a reason, Starscream." Was all Megatron said before he fastened his mouth onto the Seeker's.

He swallowed his gasp of surprise as he accepted the kiss almost desperately. Since Megatron first claimed him in one orbital cycles ago, Starscream had been secretly hoping that he would do it again. Having this desire fulfilled combined with his longing for the intimate contact with his leader, Starscream was instantly reduced to moaning into the lip lock. His frame burned with a heat more intense than he had ever felt before, which worsened when Megatron tilted his helm with one hand to deepen the kiss. The next second the warlord's glossa was intertwining with Starscream's, sliding against his and exploring the Seeker's mouth thoroughly. By now he could do nothing but to whine in pleasure and cling to Megatron hard.

Why couldn't Starscream push him away, especially now that his leader had finally made a move? Instead he found his arms wrapped around Megatron's helm as he responded with almost as much as enthusiasm as the other. The Seeker had shifted his frame until he was half-straddling the larger mech, and Megatron slid his palm down his waist and rubbed heavily. His other hand continued to press against the back of his helm as they repeatedly locked lips.

Did Megatron's hands always feel this good against his heated plating? Starscream had almost forgotten that his leader's touch was ever repulsive in the first place, considering that all sensible thinking fled his mind. He cared about nothing, not even the fact that they were on an outside ledge of the base and were visible to anyone flying by. At that moment all Starscream wanted was for his leader to pin him underneath and ravish his frame until he overloaded howling Megatron's designation.

Megatron separated first, and Starscream nearly cried out in protest at the cease of the pleasurable sensations.

"You taste exquisite," He said huskily, "From the way you responded to me, I take that you had agreed."

"Agreed… to what?" Starscream managed to gather his scattered self together to ask.

In response Megatron pinned him with one hand onto the hard surface of the ledge and shifted himself until he loomed over the smaller mech. He began to trail harsh nips and kisses down the other's neck as his large hands caressed his chestplates roughly, occasionally reaching to tweak at Starscream's wings. The Seeker writhed at the mix of pleasure and pain, his mouth open in a silent cry.

"You will be my new second," Megatron murmured, "Together we can achieve so much... isn't this what you wanted?"

"I used to… until I was almost offlined because of that desire. For all I know, your apologies and my promotion are useless." Starscream's mind started to think straight again, and naturally his worries surfaced.

"It will work. The others will see that I have... already... claimed... you..." Megatron punctuated his last three words with crushing kisses against the Seeker's lips and after that, bit down hard on his neck. Starscream promptly shrieked at the sudden pain and tried to scratch at the larger mech. But Megatron merely seized the erring hand, allowing a lecherous grin to stretch his faceplates.

"What was that for, you glitch-headed fragger?!" While he was previously moaning under Megatron's touches, Starscream was now infuriated instead.

"Mine..." The warlord purred in response, dragging his glossa across the wound he had caused and lapping up the leaking energon. Starscream hitched his breath sharply and had to bite his lip to muffle a whimper. He couldn't help but think this as strangely arousing, with Megatron claiming him as his own and marking him...

His leader then pulled him close again to nuzzle at the Seeker's helm. Starscream once more melted on the inside as he fell limp against the larger mech's frame, a small sigh escaping him.

"Starscream..." The warlord's voice whispered into his right audio, "You have avoided my question for so long, but I shall ask you again. Are you willing to become my second-in-command, to stand at my right hand as my most trusted advisor?"

The Seeker was becoming progressively drowsy as time wore on. The sleepless nights and his troubling thoughts were taking their toll on him. Combined with his comfortable position against Megatron, Starscream's mind was less alert than usual. It was in this sleepy haze that he thought Megatron as sweet and caring. His leader had sought him out, tried to apologize and appoint him as his second. He sincerely offered Starscream his protection, whether he thought he needed it or not, and downright admitted that he was at fault for everything the Seeker had suffered so far. All in all, Megatron had done almost everything he had expected him to do to make up for causing him so much trouble.

Starscream's more sentimental self outright swooned dramatically and discarded all qualms concerning Megatron's inappropriate behavior and his perverseness. In his current state, he saw nothing wrong in agreeing. Megatron had all but confessed his inappropriate behavior so sincerely that Starscream didn't even consider it done out of ulterior motives.

"Very well..." Starscream mumbled, "I'll be your second-in-command… as long as you don't make me regret it, that is."

"You won't," Megatron sounded genuinely delighted, "You will have all the privileges and authority as the second-in-command of the Deceptions and are eligible to attend the S Team meetings..."

Starscream tuned out the rest of the other's words as he continued to lie against the larger mech. Megatron rattled on, but a part of Starscream had already begun to regret his decision. Now that he was next to Megatron himself in turns of military rank, he would be more disliked than ever. True that no mech would attempt to offline him again, but Starscream had doomed himself to a life of solitude, as an outcast among the Decepticons. As long as he remained as second, few mechs would call themselves acquainted with the Seeker.

It wasn't just about his leader. Many times a commanding officer no part in companionship, and it was only then when Starscream realized as if for the first time that such authority also had its price. Why he had never thought of this back then while he was still longing to be promoted was beyond him. Now as the impact of his decision slowly made sense to him, Starscream felt a hollow chill permeate his spark.

There were many times when he thought back to this moment and wondered what had made him agree in the first place. Maybe it was because Megatron had presented this position in such a solemn and almost-sincere way, that he saw he couldn't exactly refuse or that he saw the need for a mech to serve as second-in-command. Eventually Starscream figured it out when he discovered that he subconsciously wished for all this complexity and his own anxieties to end by accepting.

It had been foolish of him to hope, Starscream eventually concluded. Whatever misgivings he had were inconsolable, no matter how high the promotion or how sincere Megatron had been. But there was still a part of him that  _slightly_ warmed at the fact that his leader taken the first step.


	11. Indecorous

Starscream onlined slowly as his system rebooted one by one. When he was at least able to sense the familiar surroundings of his quarters, his mind immediately went back to the night before. He had gone to his favorite spot to think after a disturbing dream, met Megatron, got intimate with him, and then his leader had offered to make him second…

The Seeker groaned. He was regretting his rash agreement. Who knows what his leader would  _do_ to him now that he was Megatron's closest advisor. Had he been  _thinking_  at all, to allow a mere lip lock and some heated touches to weaken his will?

He would have continued to ponder upon his poorly-made decision more, but somehow without opening his optics he could sense there was something not quite right with his surroundings. There was a muffled sound behind him, though he didn't give it much thought. Instead Starscream wondered why his own berth had suddenly grown so small, squishing him against the wall until he barely had enough space to move.

Hang on. How did he get into his berth the first place? The last thing Starscream remembered was falling asleep against his leader on the ledge…

His rising Seeker claustrophobia vanished in a nanoklik when he twisted around.

There with both of his arms wrapped tightly around his waist was the source of all his troubles, Megatron. Somehow the still-recharging warlord had curled himself around Starscream's frame in the berth, enveloping him with his warmth. An utterly content smile graced his relaxed faceplates.

After Starscream had spent several cycles staring horrified at his sleeping leader, he tried to wriggle his way out without waking the other. But Megatron's optics immediately onlined at the movement as he tightened his grip.

"It's still early. Go back to recharge." He rumbled sleepily.

Starscream finally snapped. How could Megatron act as if nothing had happened?! And who was he to intrude upon the privacy of his quarters like this?!

He braced one pede against Megatron's side and shoved as hard as he could. This action had the desired effect, for the larger mech rolled off the berth and landed with a heavy crash of armor. Starscream didn't bother to gloat over this victory; the next thing he did was to bolt out of his quarters as fast as he could.

Megatron groaned and sat up, rubbing his helm where it struck the ground. Talk about a rude awakening. There he was being kind to the Seeker by carrying his recharging frame back to his room and after some thinking, joined him in the berth only to get kicked off rudely first thing in the morning.

But at least Megatron got the scientist to say yes to his offer. Today would be Starscream's first day as the SIC of the Decepticons. He also had the advisors to deal with, and somehow must convince them why had he promoted the Seeker even though the majority of them disagreed.

Slag it. Megatron stood up, all drowsiness forgotten, and strode off briskly towards the command center. He sent a message to the wayward Seeker.

**\- I need you in the command center, Starscream, to start off your duties as my second. Please report there after you are done with your theatrics.**

A cycle later, a reply:

**\- I hate you.**

**\- I love you too. Now hurry up.**

**\- Frag you.**

Megatron chuckled mildly. Now Starscream was just being immature.

He thought back to the events the night before as he booted up the base's computer system and set about doing a maintenance check. After obtaining Blitzwing's information, he had lurked hidden in Starscream's ledge until the Seeker came. Spending some time in simply observing his future second, many things had passed through Megatron's mind.

Starscream was clearly distressed, from the way his wings twitched and his frame fidgeted. He kept burying his helm into his hands and once even gave a cry of frustration.

So that was the extent of his suffering, Megatron realized. Starscream was conflicted in how he felt towards his leader. Which meant that he hadn't discarded this entire thing as ridiculous and actually cared about how he got along with Megatron. Clearly he was extremely unsettled over the attack in the tunnels and would like to distance himself from danger.

He had planned to present his offer again before Starscream, plain and simple, and leave peaceably if he refused it. But Megatron's spark softened when he heard from the Seeker himself his personal struggles, and had reached out to him in one of his infrequent displays of concern. He had allowed an unusual amount of remorse and sincerity to lace his words in the hope that Starscream actually listen to him. He hadn't expected a make-out session to follow, even though he was the one who initiated it. Megatron could no longer help himself when he continued to observe Starscream while they spoke. The next thing he knew he had locked lips with the Seeker, and then he had the smaller mech pinned beneath him in a sensual round of caressing. Megatron found that he greatly enjoyed the sweet heady taste of Starscream's mouth and the feel of the slender mech's frame draped on his. The look Starscream had given him did not help at all, that pleading gaze in his optics that begged Megatron to just ravish him senseless. The warlord was only too glad to oblige until he remembered why exactly he sought out Starscream in the first place.

Right, the Seeker was going to be his new second-in-command.

Megatron felt a slight stab of guilt when he realized that part of the reason why Starscream had agreed was because the warlord had taken advantage of his disoriented state. It was not how he pictured the other's promotion at all, and he hoped that this wouldn't cause more complexities between them. No doubt his new second would give him a chewing-out he would never forget if he found out.

When Starscream finally came sulking into the command center, Megatron gave him the duty of fortifying Decepticon defenses at Kalis by assigning troops there. He still placed his duties ahead though, no matter how much he wanted to speak with his new second.

"What?! Straight to work and no initiation ceremony?" Starscream had glared at him.

"You don't need one, and neither did Shockwave. Unless you would like to have a private initiation…"

At this the Seeker shot back a forceful "No thank you" and shot out of the command center.

Megatron chuckled when he recalled this incident. When would Starscream stop denying that he wanted to get intimate with his commander? His body language plainly told him that he wanted to get fragged by Megatron until he couldn't stand. Why was he still denying it, and what was so bad about sharing a berth with the leader of the Decepticons? Most mechs would have seized this chance without hesitation had Megatron continued to be free in his interfacing life. But Starscream hadn't.

He should ask the Seeker about this matter some time, except he had to put it in an extremely subtle way. Megatron was becoming somewhat tired of this beating-around-the-bush, and he wished to take things the next step. Considering Starscream's reactions last night, it seemed that this would happen very soon.

Starscream, however, was content in leaving his leader hanging in the air as he proceeded to summon the legion of Decepticons he had chosen to set out for Kalis. Again, he angrily wondered how Megatron was able to keep a war and a supposed relationship going on at the same time. If that slagger continued in this, he was going to let it affect his performance in the war, and then cause the Decepticons to lose.

It was job as the new second-in-command, Starscream decided, to keep his leader in line and make sure he doesn't do anything remotely stupid. If he could get past unscathed those who envied him though.

Starscream's chosen Decepticons arrived promptly on time at the hanger. However, when they saw the Seeker standing there, they started to grumble.

"We were tryin' to get some rest. What authority do you have to call us here?" One complained.

"In case you didn't notice my signature at the bottom of my message," Starscream said icily, "I, Starscream, am the new second-in-command of the Decepticons. I have every right to give you orders to obey."

"Lies! Lord Megatron would never choose you! You are not worthy!" A bellowing voice the Seeker immediately recognized as Lugnut's shouted. He gritted his dentas and fought the urge not to shoot that blockhead. It seemed like his expectations of being second was way too high. Starscream hadn't realized he would be facing the problem of the Decepticons' acceptance of his new position.

"Yet Megatron chose me over you, Lugnut. Clearly he thought I was more... capable, thank you very much." Still, he couldn't resist the temptation of rubbing into the loyalist's faceplates.

"Why you pompous scrapheap...!" Lugnut lunged forward at the Seeker, only to be promptly tripped by the resident chemist, Oil Slick. The behemoth went sprawling flat on his front with a thunderous clang, but soon sprang up furiously to tackle the culprit. Before Starscream could even utter another word, the hanger became the battleground for a full-on brawl as the other Decepticons gladly threw themselves into the fight.

"Oh for spark's sake..." The Seeker slapped a hand to his faceplates in exasperation. Were Decepticons always this fight-needy?

"Well slag, never expected a fight to erupt over such a miniscule event," A medium-sized flier he recognized as Skystalker, a member of the S Team, said nonchalantly as he went to stand beside Starscream, "You better stay clear from Lugnut from now on."

"I don't need you to tell me that! Now CEASE YOUR UTTERLY POINTLESS BRAWL AND STAND TO ATTENTION!" Starscream hollered at the mass of punching, kicking and rolling mechs, trying to make his voice heard above the hearty battle cries and enraged yells.

No one listened. In the end thanks the Seeker's null-rays and Skystalker's reasonable imitation of Megatron's displeased voice, the Decepticons managed to calm down enough to stop attacking each other. By then every mech had suffered from a few good dents and scorch marks, and Lugnut was surprisingly unconscious.

"I should have you lot punished for this uncalled fight if time isn't in such a great demand!" Starscream spoke sharply as he squared his shoulders in an unconscious attempt to make himself appear more intimidating, "Kalis requires defending if we are to keep the city state from falling back into the hands of the Autobots. You will set out in a megacycle and station guards at all gates of Kalis, including the waste grating at the nuclear reactor. The Autobots knew we used it to invade the city-states, and they might try the same strategy for themselves. And what exactly happened to Lugnut? I don't have time to select his replacement!"

"Sedative," Oil Slick answered, spinning an empty syringe in one hand, "They work more effectively than my fists, especially on a mech his size."

Starscream snarled in irritation, firing to shatter the object in mid-spin, "Then you will be responsible for waking that unconscious blockhead. Now get moving!"

"We got a real work-oriented second here, Decepticons. Impressive, considering that you were once head-scientist. Mind sharing how you received your promotion?" Skystalker chimed in.

"Isn't it obvious?" Oil Slick snorted, aiming a careless kick at the immobile Lugnut, "I'm surprised that you're still walking straight, Starscream."

"Why you...!" The Seeker sputtered indignantly. How dare anyone suggest such a thing, that he received his promotion through such degrading means?!

He steeled himself quickly with some difficulty. Already he had spent too much time in getting the Kalis defense team mobilized. If he continued to react to their snide comments, perhaps they would still be arguing as the Autobots regained the city-state.

"Alright, no more of your fooling around," Starscream said firmly, "When you get to Kalis, I want a report every solar cycle. There will be consequences if you fail at such a simple task."

There were dissatisfied murmurs among the Decepticons as one by one they transformed and flew out of the hanger. Oil Slick had to stay behind to drain the sedative out of Lugnut, and promptly received a punch in the faceplates for his troubles as the behemoth awoke violently.

The Seeker sighed, feeling strangely depleted after this task. He recalled how Megatron gave his orders and the way all Decepticons immediately sprang into action. In contrast, Starscream's audience had expressed hesitance and then even dared to question his orders! A full-on brawl even broke out among them! How did Megatron inspire such obedience when he acted so irresponsible at almost all times? Starscream took his duties much more seriously, and yet he couldn't get the Decepticons to follow his commands without question. What was he still missing?

The solar cycle passed eventfully as Megatron gave Starscream more duties to carry out. He was sent to do a troop inspection, go over some important paperwork and to deploy another group of Decepticons to defend Altihex. In the tasks in which he was to speak to the Decepticons, he endured more disbelief, mocking and the questioning of his authority. They followed the orders eventually, but Starscream was almost ready to shoot everyone he saw out of frustration by the end of the solar cycle, along with a dangerous urge to yell at Megatron for getting him into this. The warlord had just sent him a message notifying the Seeker that he had no more duties, and that he should stop at the command center to file in his reports.

He had expected total authority over the army as the second-in-command and obedience to his orders. Instead Starscream had gotten something totally opposite, proving that being second was more difficult than he thought. He had underestimated the cons that came with the position and was already somewhat regretting his eagerness in his promotion.

"That fragging afthead," Starscream muttered under his breath as he studied the main display without taking in anything, "Said he made me second just for my protection. More like he wanted me to get slagged by the others. Why did I even agree to that? I can take care of myself just fine..."

He unconsciously rubbed at a certain area on his neck and scowled. The place Megatron had bit him last night had left a rather nasty discoloration in the protoform. In fact, Starscream didn't even notice it until he spotted the Stunticons staring at him strangely. He then ran back to his room and managed to buff out the spot, cursing Megatron all the while for embarrassing him like this.

"Hello, Staaaarscream." A deep voice suddenly purred behind him, its owner wrapping both arms around the Seeker's thin waist as a warm frame pressed tightly against his back.

Speaking of that fragging afthead...

"If you want to speak to me, then do it properly, you glitch!" Starscream shot back heatedly, trying to wriggle out of his leader's tight grip.

"No." Megatron said simply.

Starscream struggled in futile for a few more nanokliks, and finally settled down with a petulant pout. He inwardly steeled himself whatever annoying antics the warlord had prepared.

Megatron was pleasantly surprised, however, for he didn't expect the Seeker to submit so quickly without a long fight. He had dropped by the command center on the way to his quarters to pick up a datapad when he saw his new second. The warlord had been waiting all day to speak to him, but Starscream's duties came first, which coincidentally all had him working away from his commander.

He tightened his hold around the other, and Starscream made a soft sound at the movement. Megatron couldn't help but notice how well the Seeker's frame fit against his as he leant down to brush his lips gently against the warm metal of the other's helm.

"How was your first solar cycle as my second-in-command?" He asked the question that had been lingering in his mind all day. In truth Megatron was worried how the promotion will work out among the others.

"Fragging great," Starscream said crossly, "The Decepticons I sent to Kalis had a full-on brawl before I managed to kick them out."

"Yes, I've heard of it," Megatron replied amusedly, "A fight on your first solar cycle… not bad at all. I must say that I look forward to the rest of the time while we work together."

"And that's not the worst of it! You do know that the Decepticons are under the impression that I gained my rank through interfacing." The Seeker flung back.

Well, that was frank. Megatron already had an idea of what rumors were flying around behind his back, but this was going a little too far.

Although that sliver of guilt assaulted him again when he knew that he had, in part, made Starscream agree while his defenses were lowered, namely last night on that ledge.

"Technically speaking, that's not too far from the truth."

The warlord realized his slip-up too late as Starscream's faceplates contorted into a mask of anger. He had triggered another one of his violent outbursts.

"Are you implying last night that…?! How dare you!" Starscream suddenly shrieked as he renewed his struggle, "You were the one who wanted me in your berth by courting me, and now you made me second so you can keep a closer optic on me. It's not for my protection at all, you selfish glitch! Only Primus knows why you said that in the first place. Fine! I'll tell you what's been on my mind the past few megacycles. I regret ever asking to be made second and sending that message to you. Clearly I underestimated the trials that come with that rank, which far outweighs the so-called power."

Megatron wasn't prepared for a sudden outburst from the Seeker, for he unconsciously loosened his grip, which Starscream leapt out of angrily and continued to rant.

"What are you even trying to do? You offer the Decepticons a chance to court you and allow them to fight among themselves in the middle of a war! Are you trying to allow the Autobots to triumph over us?! So is this how you want to go down in history, always remembered as the leader who got so caught up in his personal affairs until he let the enemy overrun his faction?!"

Slag. So Starscream thought he had been the one voluntarily opening the courting offer. Why choose to bring this up again? What had exactly happened during Starscream's first day as second-in-command?

Megatron inwardly groaned. The Seeker was harder to read than a triple-encrypted database.

"Look Starscream, I never—" He started to defend.

"I don't want to hear your explanations!" Starscream screeched, "If I am going to be your second, then expect me to put my duties before all personal affairs. Courting me is out of the question. I don't consider you worthy of me, so stop trying to seduce me like you did last night. It won't work anymore!"

With that, Starscream stormed out the command center in a huff. It was several cycles before Megatron recovered from his shock and sighed forlornly, allowing his helm to droop into one hand.

There was some truth in Starscream's outburst, he realized. Perhaps he had been trying too hard to court the Seeker, causing him to feel pressured and react immediately in rejection. He had been too impatient for the extremely satisfying results.

And the war...

Megatron sighed again. He, like many others, wished to end it as soon as possible by triumphing over the Autobots. And in order to do that, he had to place even more effort into his battles and strategy planning, allowing nothing to sidetrack him. Megatron had been somewhat distracted lately since he started courting the Seeker. It was time to put that effort aside. Now it seemed that getting the Seeker into his berth would have to wait longer. No matter, Megatron could wait.

Starscream would continue to serve him as second, like he said earlier. There were plenty of chances to get acquainted with him as they worked together. Previously they were on good terms when they spoke of the strategies for taking Kalis. Megatron could already tell he and Starscream would make a good team in the battlefield.

Perhaps that was the key. He should treat the Seeker properly as his second-in-command, not as a mech he wanted in his berth. This was easier said than done though. When Megatron had gotten intimate with him last night, it took all of his willpower to not get carried away completely.

But Starscream seemed to tolerate him more when they were speaking of practical matters than when Megatron was trying to court him. With that observation in mind, he decided to do just what he realized earlier... provided if Starscream faced him peaceably tomorrow.

He allowed his helm to fall into one hand frustratedly. Why was associating with that Seeker so  _fragging_ difficult?

* * *


	12. Inscrutable

"Don't jou think jou're being too hard on him?" Blitzwing asked doubtfully.

"This is Megatron we're talking about!" Starscream shot back, "He deserves to be yelled at for everything he's done to me!"

The injured flier resisted the urge to bash the Seeker upside of his helm. Sometimes Starscream was too dense for his own good, which was surprising because as a scientist he was supposed to be especially observant... especially concerning courting affairs. Not to mention he was the one who took Megatron's advances badly.

Hook had released him from the med bay a while ago so now Blitzwing was free to go to and fro as he wished, although he was not allowed to enter combat. When Starscream had come storming into his room demanding a discussion, the other hadn't been surprised. So the conservation turned to the subject of the Seeker's unintended courtship again, and Starscream wasn't been helpful at all as he accused Megatron repeatedly. Blitzwing suspected that the Seeker had exaggerated things a lot though, so he was only half listening until now.

"Look, Starscream," Blitzwing went for a more direct approach, "Vhy don't jou vant to approach him, or even give him a chance?"

"Because he is not worthy of me!" Starscream immediately retorted.

"Vhy—"

"Because the only reason he wants me is to keep him company in his berth. Any mech in my position could tell, the way he gropes me, tries to get my attention and tries to seduce me."

"Vhy—" Blitzwing was starting to see the main problem here, but Starscream was getting worked up into a rant.

"He is a fragging pervert and a glitchhead! I don't want to get close to such a mech! I don't want him at all!"

"Vill jou let me finish?!" Blitzwing's anger arose quickly in him, and he had to restrain himself from lashing out at the fuming Seeker. He steeled himself for a nanoklik, cursing the fact that his temper was getting the better of him more lately.

Starscream gave him an annoyed sidelong look, but fell silent.

"What do jou know about Megatron? And I'm not asking for more insults."

At that Starscream scrunched up his faceplates with a look of concentration, which soon turned into dejectedness.

"He is admittedly a genius computer programmer and engineer who created the communication network we're using right now, and a skilled user of dual blades known for his unconventional fighting style."

"Any Decepticon vould have all zhose facts memorized," Blitzwing snorted, "As zhe mech Megatron is trying to court, jou vill have to do better. Describe his personality."

There was a long silence as Starscream presumably thought of possible answers to answer this inquiry.

"He seems… determined to fulfill the cause… and will work hard to do so when really puts his mind to it… Argh! I don't know!" Starscream raged, "He doesn't have much of a personality in the public!"

"And in private?"

The other did not reply to that. Starscream instead averted his optics and turned his helm to one side, which immediately gave Blitzwing the clue that whatever happened between the two of them, the Seeker was unwilling to share it.

"Vell, whether publically or privately, zhat's not enough," Blitzwing shook his helm, "Starscream, please. Alzhough my advice has been overused countless times, at least get to know our esteemed leader better before jou jump to any conclusions. It vould be better for zhe both of jou, and jou can always make zhe decision to cut off the courtship if jou find him incompatible."

"Megatron was the one who started it in the first place. Do you honestly think he would let me go so easily?!"

"Let's not think zhat far yet. For now jou vould do vell to know him better." Blitzwing said patiently.

"He's inscrutable, and he never showed any attempt to know me! Why should he start now?" Starscream became doubtful again. By the AllSpark, that mech really thought too much sometimes.

"Jou could only hope. But ozher zhan zhat, jou have plenty of chances to know Megatron as his new second-in-command. By zhe way, congratulations."

"Thanks," Starscream said in a quiet voice, "This is probably the umpteenth time you saved me from another crisis."

"Crisis might be exaggerating a little. While jou're at it, please go and apologize to Megatron for jour outburst."

"What?! No! He deserved it!" Starscream immediately snapped. But his expression became distant, and then urgent.

"Speaking of that fragger, he wants me to help devise another battle plan this cycle. I need to be at the command center right now. Later, Blitzwing."

With that, the Seeker promptly rushed out of the room and into the hallways, his thrusters clicking sharply again the metal ground. When the sound faded, Blitzwing allowed himself to a small chuckle of amusement.

Really, Starscream was a rather sociable mech under his irritable and reclusive exterior when one got to know him. It was a pity that he distanced himself from the others, or he would have been a rather influential figure among the Decepticons. However, it did surprise Blitzwing that Starscream was made second-in-command so quickly after joining the army. He also highly suspected that it had something to do with the Kalis mission.

Blitzwing wasn't sure why he continued to associate with the (admittedly) emotionally unstable Seeker. At first he thought it was because he wished for a companionship, something that was always denied to him because of his slightly disturbed mentality. When Starscream had reacted rather neutrally the time Blitzwing went to ask him about his anxiety for the position of second-in-command, the jet was pleased to know that at least one mech found him approachable.

Or maybe Blitzwing grew worried about the increasing whispers among the others, which he certainly took more time to hear than the other. The bets and crude jokes he didn't pay much attention to, but the ones that earned his concern were those of complaints and disapprovals. Starscream had no idea how many were criticizing his promotion and supposedly unacceptable behavior with Megatron. Though most of these whispers had dwindled away now that the war started, Blitzwing knew there were at least three of the S Team officers that were against the two's "relationship". If Starscream was to keep his position and safety at the same time, it was going to take some serious forethinking.

Or maybe it was the simple interest to watch how Starscream progressed in his courtship with Megatron. Blitzwing also saw that if the two learned how to work together (preferably as lovers, although as close comrades will also do), they would definitely achieve many victories over the Autobots. But with one misstep for the either of them, then Decepticons will fall apart by infighting and a divided leadership, or by Megatron's neglectance should he get so caught up in his personal affairs.

No, Megatron would never do that. He was too dedicated to his faction to allow such a presumptuous thing to happen.

Blitzwing sighed somewhat wearily. Sometimes he cursed his uncanny insight and the ability to see things more deeply than they appear at the surface. But he will continue to observe, and step in to help Starscream when the occasion called for it. Plus the Seeker had saved his life in the underground pipes. He would return the favor eventually, though for now he would settle for his advising role.

* * *

After speaking to Blitzwing, Starscream was far from at peace. Blitzwing's advice didn't assure him much at all, assuming that Megatron would even remain favorable towards him. The other was practically telling him to do everything he hoped he would never do with Megatron. Apologize?! Get to know him?! That fragger should be grateful if the Seeker even looked at him after all this!

Or not. Centuries of being taught to treat a figure of authority with respect had somehow still ingrained itself into Starscream's processor. Megatron, though an immature pervert and one of the most annoying mechs he had the misfortune to meet, was still Decepticon leader and in charge of leading an entire army to war. It had been wrong of him to blow up so brashly at the warlord like that.

Starscream ground his dentas together tightly and scowled. Part of him still stubbornly insisted that he had done nothing wrong except to make his opinions known to the other. After all, he had to draw his boundaries; no one trod all over Starscream and got away with it!

But as quickly as that flare of defiance came, it soon melted into uncertain apprehension, leaving Starscream with a feeling akin to being caught doing something he shouldn't be doing back at the Academy. He still had to face Megatron this solar cycle as his newly-appointed second-in-command.

Now Starscream was trying hard to resist the temptation to just turn tail and run for it as he strode towards the command center. He hadn't meant to lose his temper in front of Megatron the last solar cycle like that, but the frustrations he had experienced made him just suddenly snap and once he was ranting, he couldn't stop.

There was sure to be some consequence for what he did. The worst Megatron could do is to strip him of his rank, the least giving him the most tedious tasks today. With this expectation in mind, Starscream mentally steeled himself as he stepped into the command center.

To his utter surprise, Megatron only gave him a cordial greeting and sent him to go over some more paperwork, and then to inspect the Decepticon weapons store. When Starscream finished those tasks, his leader even asked him if he had been giving him too much work. After spending a cycle stuttering in disbelief, the Seeker retorted that they were barely enough.

"Now don't underestimate your duties as my second," Megatron warned, "There will be a S Team meeting this solar cycle, and this will be the first time with you attending. Just sit, listen and bring up sensible opinions and you will be fine."

"I know how to handle myself!"

"I'm sure you do, Starscream. Hmm… Starscream… and here we have another new advisor whose designation starts with an S. I really should make that an official requirement from now on. What do you say?"

What did Megatron consume that solar cycle that made him the amiable mech he was now? What happened to his somewhat perverted personality (not that Starscream was complaining)? He was definitely up to something, according to his abnormal behavior. Or maybe he had actually listened to Starscream's rant.

The meeting was surprisingly unproductive. The other members first stared at Starscream with a mixture of disdain and curiosity. Then Strika proceeded to launch into a full report on the current movements of the Decepticon forces. However, Megatron dismissed it with a wave of his hand.

"First, let us hear the progress of the identification of Project Omega."

"None of the Autobot captives we took from Kalis and Altihex know anything about it," Hook shook his helm, "There is no need to extract the information out of them."

"Then is this whole thing a false alarm then? Did Shockwave mishear?" Straxus said doubtfully."

"No, Shockwave has always been trustworthy. He would never..." At that, the council broke into disorganized talk as the gathered Decepticons debated whether the information was true or not. To say, Starscream was not impressed at all.

"Does this always happen?" He muttered.

"More frequently nowadays, but I wouldn't blame them. The Autobots' Project Omega is a highly probable threat that we must deal with, yet we have little to no information about it." Megatron answered quietly.

"Of course you will have little information on it. If the Autobots are working on a super-weapon that can possibly give them an edge in the war, would they even make the project widely known among their lower ranks?" Starscream scoffed.

The Seeker's voice hadn't been particularly loud, but for some reason it caught every mech's attention. Suddenly the entire room was silent as all turned their gaze upon Starscream.

"Well go on. We would all like to hear the new second-in-command's take on the situation." Strika drawled in a somewhat challenging tone.

Starscream scowled. Clearly these officers had underestimated his abilities and were testing him in a non-too-subtle way. Well, he was not about to hold back on anything now. The Seeker already had come up with some useful observations and suggestions of his own as he listened. But Megatron had stiffened in his seat with a strained expression on his faceplates.

"Isn't it obvious? Only the higher-ups would know of such a project, like Ultra Magnus and the other mechs on the Autobot High Council. We don't know how Shockwave obtained this information, but it would be in vain if we continue to interrogate the captives."

"Starscream is correct," Megatron sounded as if he had chosen his next words carefully, "In that case it would certainly be more difficult to gain information on Project Omega. But we must not give up our attempt on identifying it."

All the present mechs nodded in agreement. Starscream could particularly feel his leader's obvious relief as his posture sagged slightly. What was he being so tense about in the first place anyways? It's not like the Seeker had offended anyone.

"However, we have received word from our scouts that the Autobots are developing a new technology for the war known as 'space bridges'." Hook announced.

"That doesn't sound good. What exactly does this 'space bridge' do?" Oil Slick cut in.

"Judging from its name, it may be a teleportation device designed to instantly transport its user to any part of the galaxy. Our sources say that the Autobots had been experimenting on their Decepticon prisoners and that unusual energy signatures were detected around Iacon."

That explained the sudden signal offlining of said prisoners the past few orbital cycles, evidently showing that the experiment had either failed and killed them, or succeeded in warping them to an unknown part of the universe. Megatron grimaced at the revelation. He was hoping to liberate them at the next assault.

And Starscream. Megatron had expected him to contribute many helpful advices to the meeting. He had done just that, along with a total disregard for authority. While the warlord didn't mind his rudeness for most of the time, the officers had obviously seen him as a threat.

"Then this poses a greater threat than Project Omega," Starscream spoke up again, "The Autobots will be able to travel to the colonies without the need of their space fleet and take them back easily. We will never match up with the speed of teleportation in our flight-capable alt-modes. Whatever Project Omega is, it will not pose a threat greater than the space bridges. Since information about this project is obtained more easily than the former, we must focus on it more than the other."

Starscream was suddenly aware of a tense atmosphere in the room when he was finished speaking. Strika and Straxus were now looking at him with annoyed expressions on their faceplates while Hook had a disapproving one. Meanwhile, Megatron looked as if he had swallowed a cube of soured energon and was still trying to keep a straight face. What had the Seeker done wrong now?

"Project Omega must not be neglected," Megatron recovered himself smoothly, "We can only assume that it is a super weapon in development, and the Autobots must not be allowed to have the advantage in the war. As for the space bridge, I will contact Scrash and Sideways to stop advancing the troops to the other colonies and increase their defenses on the ones we currently hold should the Autobots start warping in their forces."

"I think we should also get our hands on this particular piece of technology if possible. Then we will be able to combat the Autobots equally." Straxus suggested.

The discussion soon turned to the matter of defending Altihex and Kalis, but Starscream wasn't listening. Instead he turned his mind upon Megatron and the council's strange reactions whenever he spoke. Starscream was sure that he hadn't done anything wrong; he only offered his take on the situation and the recommended action to proceed with. Then what was going on?

"—leave it to Starscream here." The mentioning of his name caught his attention.

"Huh?"

"When you were still occupied deep in your thoughts, no doubt concerning more of your insightful observations," Strika answered sarcastically, "We were discussing about the defense for Altihex and Kalis, the two city states that the Autobots had already beginning amassing their forces to take back. Lord Megatron has suggested leaving you in charge of Kalis, which we highly disagree with."

"Kalis?" Starscream chose to brush off the other's words, although he was tempted sorely to retort back, "I can do it. Why is there a disagreement?"

"Starscream is more than capable for the duty. I think I previously failed to mention that it was him who designed the strategy for the taking of Kalis." It was Megatron who cut him off.

"Indeed? I must admit that was quite the ingenious plan. But the new second-in-command must be considered trustworthy if you must assign him a city-state to defend. We all know Shockwave as a mech loyal to the faction, skillful in his acts of intelligence gathering and fearless in battle. As for Starscream, I'm afraid we don't know the full extent of his abilities yet." Hook said thoughtfully.

"Then I will go and oversee Altihex." Megatron insisted.

"No, you are needed for the defense of Kaon itself, which will be disastrous if we ever lost our home base to the Autobots—" Straxus tried to argue.

"They won't dare to attack Kaon, for they know the majority of our forces lie here. Right now these two city-states we had just captured are the main targets. They need our attention the most."

Starscream was about to pipe up irritated that he didn't need Megatron supervising him. But the officers' continued discourse soon had him shut out again as they argued back and forth. The discussion eventually evened out when the majority decided there was no harm in having Megatron on the front lines along with his second in defending the city-states. The warlord was now visibly frustrated though, an irritated scowl twisting his faceplates. By the time he finally called for the meeting to end, Megatron braced a hand firmly against Starscream's back and steered him away into the hallway, opposite from where the other officers were headed.

"Let me go, you fragging glitch-head!" Starscream snapped after the other had put quite a distance between them and the meeting room, "What's gotten into you during that meeting? First you tell me to be careful in what I do and say, and then when I offer my opinions you act as if I had done something wrong. After that I receive the impression that you are trying to defend everything I say. And finally you mention it was I who devised the strategy of the taking for Kalis. Then you volunteer me for the defense of that city state, only to accompany me also!"

"Calm down, Starscream," The Seeker's rant wasn't helping Megatron's helm-ache at all, "I was trying to keep you out of trouble. For some reason my advisors feel intimidated by you and your outright straightforwardness."

"Straightforwardness?! I contributed much to the meeting! Why should they feel intimidated? They should be thanking me for my resourceful input!"

Megatron again had to resist the urge to slap a hand to his faceplates. Starscream really had no idea on what was going on, did he? How could he not notice the hostile looks he had been receiving from the other officials? It seemed like Starscream was much better at reading and analyzing situations than people, which was going to get him into trouble soon if he wasn't careful.

"How should I know? I cannot presume to know their thoughts, nor can I defend everything you say. Just… watch what you do and say at Kalis. Every one of the officers now have their optic on you, and I don't want to be forced to choose another second-in-command." He gave another exasperated sigh and left before he did anything he would regret.

The solar cycle hadn't gone well for Megatron either. Earlier he had finally spoken with the officers after much hesitation and unwillingness about Starscream's promotion. Most of them broke into outraged exclamations at that and listed several reasons why the Seeker should have stayed as the head of the scientific division. It was only after a quick improvised speech (which probably consisted of less truths than usual) defending Starscream that Megatron had managed to calm them down. But afterwards Hook had confronted his seemly poor choice of a second and for the first time since they had met, the two almost came to a fierce argument. It pained the warlord that he had actually snapped at one of his oldest followers, for Hook had been one of his staunchest supporters while Megatron's predecessor was still in power...

He actually had to do a quick processor reboot in order to stop himself from going over his memories of that particular period in his life.

"I'm sorry for the outburst yesterday." Starscream's voice seemed to reach Megatron from a great distance through the dissipating haze brought by the reboot. He suddenly remembered that his second was still there.

"Come again?"

"I said," The Seeker's visage was suddenly directly in Megatron's sight, his faceplates scrunched up in an expression of mock rage, "That I was sorry for that outburst yesterday! Do you usually wander away this much, or that meeting had finally done you in?"

So Starscream had actually apologized? Megatron hadn't expecting this at all, and was now pleasantly surprised that his second had taken the first step. His mood actually lifted quite significantly as he gave Starscream a wry smile in return.

"Of course I accept your apology. After all, I suppose I must become adapted to your emotional outbursts if you are to continue working as my second."

"Why you...!" The Seeker looked ready to throw a fit again, but instead huffed grouchily and crossed his arms, "You should be grateful that I even bothered to apologize in the first place. And I do not have emotional outbursts. Anything remotely resembling that is either caused by A) stress and B) you being the glitch-helmed fragger you are."

Megatron had to laugh at Starscream's petulant behavior akin to a spoilt sparkling. He could never become angry at his half-sparked insults and sharp sarcasm.

"Fine, I'm the glitch-helmed fragger who now has a city-state of my own to defend. I was hoping to have you by my side on the front lines. But since we are stationed separately, why don't we keep up a correspondence?"

He hoped to do so through the messaging system, both to request reports from his SIC and to make sure he stayed out of trouble. At this Starscream's expression seemed to soften as he replied quietly,

"That will be acceptable."

"Excellent," Megatron was pleased yet again by the Seeker's agreement, "Well, safe journey to you, and may Kalis remain impregnable under your supervision."


	13. Indispensable

Heading the defenses of Kalis was much more taxing than Starscream thought. For one he had to deal with the same group of Decepticons who had first questioned his authority when he sent them there. Then he had to set an all-solar-cycle guard around the city state. When the Autobots started attacking, everything went downhill from there.

They were able to hold their ground against the numerous assaults. Several times the Autobots tried to scale the walls or break through the main gates, but the Decepticons took them down easily from the air. There was even once when an invasion happened from the underground pipes. Starscream simply gave orders to release toxic waste from the still-working reactor down the pipe the strike team was in, and they were never heard from ever since.

The Autobots never seemed to give up though. Their assaults began to grow in number and happen at the most unexpected times. Starscream often had to pull himself out of recharge to commandeer a defense to a sneak attack. As a result he became progressively weary (and cranky). Combine that with his daily dealings with the Decepticons under his command, the Seeker was almost ready to snap at any time.

Starscream had placed all thoughts of Megatron aside for now. He couldn't afford to be sidetracked by any musings and thoughts about his leader, no matter how much of an afthead he was. But the Seeker couldn't help thinking about the terms in which they departed for Kalis and Altihex.

For once in his life, Starscream had taken another's advice and actually apologized to Megatron. He wasn't really sorry for his rant, but he had been pleasantly surprised when his leader accepted it with a light attitude. He even made a small jest at him. Perhaps Megatron wasn't that much of a jerk.

Starscream could probably live with that. Having their relationship as strictly work-related and nothing more suited him just fine, if it lasted, that is.

However, Megatron was determined to message him each solar cycle, true to his word. He requested frequent status reports from his second. Then gradually it turned into something else instead.

**-How are you this solar cycle?**

**-Fine.** Starscream would answer briefly.

**-Having any troubles with your subordinates?**

**-What do you think?! Today Lugnut tried to cause a scene again. It took the combined efforts of Skystalker, Oil Slick, and a few others to restrain him from jumping on me.**

It was true. Lugnut had been the main source of trouble for him since Starscream first arrived at Kalis. The bomber plane nearly started many a fight between him and the Seeker, ranted at Starscream sometimes about "not being worthy enough to serve as the glorious Lord Megatron's advisor" and other things and generally caused excitement among the Decepticons. Other than feeling extremely annoyed that this was proving to be less than productive to the defense effort, Starscream wasn't particularly concerned over this. Lugnut had more bark than bite in his protests, after all.

**-I could transfer him to Altihex if you want. Lugnut is a very capable mech, but he can overreact sometimes.**

Starscream hated it when Megatron said things like that. It wasn't because he was upset over his leader thinking him incapable of dealing with such things. It was because it showed that perhaps Megatron actually cared, and it always made him falter on the inside. This feeling was made worse when he heard how his leader had lately made a public threat that anyone who dared to act against the second-in-command would suffer the full wrath of the warlord.

He hoped to keep his relationship with the other neutral, at a safe distance from Megatron so that he could avoid the others' jealousy but also on good terms so he could have an easier time working as a second-in-command. But it was cycles like this that made Starscream wonder if the warlord was actually serious about the whole courting business, that he held some sort of affection for the Seeker instead of lust for his frame. It can't be; Megatron was probably trying another strategy to win him over. Starscream wouldn't fall for it easily this time.

He wished he had brought Blitzwing with him, but the mentally-unstable mech was still recovering from his injuries and unable to transform. To have him on the front lines was cruel, not to mention dangerous. But Starscream still spoke to him a few times concerning Megatron, and was surprised that Blitzwing told him that he was doing extremely well with his leader.

He and Megatron spoke of many things. Mostly they chatted without a real topic in mind, but sometimes they spoke of more serious matters. A particularly memorable one was when Starscream asked him about the ongoing war.

**-How did you start the war?**

There was a cycle of hesitation from his leader, but eventually he replied.

**-As much as I desire to credit myself to the start of the Great War, I did not do it. The Autobots had driven us into the corner when they issued the Decepticon Registration Act, which required us to relinquish all property over to the Autobots and live under their jurisdiction. I knew this would not end well, even though we desperately wanted to be sprung out of our place on the edge of society. Plus the Decepticons were a group of born fighters wishing to live under the authority of none but their leader. It was only natural that I lead them to war.**

Starscream was a little taken aback by Megatron's sudden outpouring of information, taking extra time to read the block of text that had scrolled across his vision. He knew how the war started, and just wanted Megatron's point of view on it. Now that his leader was evidently in a discussing mood, he might as well take advantage of it.

**-Was war really necessary? You know the massive toll of lives and resources it will take.**

Starscream had to refresh his vision a few times before he realized what he had written in the spur of the moment. Slag it! Why was he treading in dangerous grounds by asking such a sensitive question?! But he had wondered about it a few times before, especially after particularly taxing battles that forced him to offline many Autobots himself.

**-It was. The Decepticon Registration Act wasn't the only cause of the Great War. Surely you have seen the many injustices in society brought about by the corrupt Autobot government. I had suffered under it too many times to count, and I am sure you had too. Evidently protests and other non-violent methods of reform would no longer work. This government has to be done away with in order for a new and better one to take its place. Is there another way of achieving this? No. Going to war was the only option.**

The Seeker was fortunate that Megatron hadn't chosen to fly into a rage over his inquiry questioning the entire goal of the Decepticons. Megatron's reasoning was valid though. Starscream had wanted to see a change in government right after he was denied of his degree in the Cybertronian Science Academy, which had completely destroyed his dreams…

He shook his helm. No, now was not the time to go over the past. One of the requirements of joining the Decepticons was to discard all burdens of the past in order to strive for a better future.

**-But the war has been going on for so long. Do you think we can triumph over the Autobots?**

Starscream slapped himself in the helm again. Why do these totally uncertain questions keep popping up? It was as if when speaking to Megatron his guard had loosened enough to allow his secret fears to surface.

**-I see you are beginning to doubt, Starscream.**

The Seeker remained fearfully silent for a few cycles, almost dreading Megatron's rebuke at him for doubting so much. But Starscream couldn't help it. On top of his stressful work, sleepless nights, emotional upheavals and handling the jealous Decepticons, he had begun to question the ongoing war. He knew that the government had to be changed in some way. But as the Great War raged on, taking more lives and sapping more energy out of everyone, Starscream had to wonder if there was a better option.

**-It's quite alright. You are not the only one to doubt. Sometimes I even do it myself. But know this: No matter how long the war lasts, I will try my best to ensure that most of the Decepticons will survive it. I will make my decisions based on how many lives that could be spared in battle, and I will not force an assault when my soldiers clearly can't handle it. But I am sure that we will win this stellar-cycles long conflict and I will live to see a new reformed Cybertron arise to power. The Autobots fight for a corrupt and dying government. We fight to create a better future for the generations of Cybertronians to come. It's a noble cause, Starscream. We have no reason to lose to the Autobots.**

Megatron was really a gifted speaker. Any doubts Starscream had were beginning to vanish. Why did he even doubt in the first place? They were fighting for a noble cause as opposed to the Autobots. They would win the war, for they had no reason to lose it.

And Megatron's words had Starscream recalling the time when he was immediately won over after hearing one of his public broadcasts. The warlord had spoken at length about the need for reformation, yet this was the first time the Seeker heard him mention the treatment of his followers in any way.

He had lived long enough to realize that most mechs don't intend to fulfill the promises they utter. Megatron didn't seem like a special exception from this truth… well, maybe until now. Even without hearing the other's voice or seeing his expression, Starscream could feel his earnestness as he spoke about his intentions for the faction, an enthusiasm that had been so prominently absent among the Autobot leaders.

The Autobot higher castes had not hesitated to put a mech into good use if he had potential, but neither did they wait to shove him aside should the mech outlive his usefulness. Megatron, on the other hand, had promised a place for every mech among the Decepticons and so much more. Starscream only had to recall the many instances when the warlord took extra effort to minimize losses of the troops and to keep up the Decepticons' morale to confirm that what Megatron said was true. In one notable instance during the Cycle of Infamy right after Megatron declared war to the public, he and his followers had been surrounded by the Autobot troops determined to rid the uprising once and for all. Then the warlord proceeded to shoot down a large support beam to cover their retreat, for they were vastly outnumbered, and fought the Autobots singled-handedly until the Decepticons present were able to flee.

Starscream had regarded this event dismissively as a fortunate escape upon first hearing it. Only now did he discover its significance, its insight into Megatron's way of leadership. He was utterly dedicated to his cause despite his inappropriate actions towards Starscream, and the Seeker wasn't the only mech who recognized this dedication. This was why Megatron was so charismatic, and combined with his promise to preserve the Decepticons through war with his best effort there were few who would refuse his call to arms.

Starscream hadn't really seen much of it all until now, and for some reason his spark softened upon hearing Megatron's reply. The reason why the whole planet of Cybertron was restless and discontented was because the government lacked a leader like the warlord, unafraid to stand up for his cause and determined to protect the mechs he led. If this was the kind of leader Starscream was to serve under, he wouldn't have minded at all. In fact, he would have offered his support.

 **-Well, does this clear things up for you?** The other's question interrupted him from his thoughts.

**-Yes. Thanks.**

**-Anytime.** If Starscream had been able to see Megatron face-to-face, he was sure that the warlord was now wearing a pleased smirk.

Really, he wasn't as bad as he first thought when he was being serious. Perhaps Starscream would even allow such conversations to continue on.

But still… how could he trust Megatron's words when he had apparently gone against his beliefs by that courting offer he had issued, an action that had tarnished his first impression of the other?

Now that Starscream had begun to understand his leader more, he would give almost anything to hear why Megatron had done such an outrageous thing. Maybe another time though. This was yet another sensitive topic.

* * *

These silent conversations went on for a long time. Each time Megatron contacted him, Starscream could not refuse, and soon he found himself even looking forward to those chats as he begin to know his leader more and more. He gradually placed his suspicions of Megatron's motive of doing this behind as he grew comfortable in speaking with him. These exchanges also admittedly kept Starscream losing it under the stress he was enduring right now.

Megatron also eagerly took any chance to speak with his second. Five times out of ten he was secretly messaging him in meetings or while speaking to others. Many Decepticons were beginning to wonder what was up with their leader when he often asked them to repeat themselves.

Ever since the rant, he had been pondering on how should he treat his second-in-command. Obviously it wouldn't work if he approached with courting intents. So Megatron had settled for being cordial and friendly. So far it had worked well through those messages. Starscream was being more approachable than he was stellar cycles ago ever since their last discussion about Megatron's reasons for initiating the war, and he found he liked to speak with the surprisingly easy-to-talk-to Seeker.

However, Megatron realized he was revealing more of himself than he usually did to his second. Starscream had challenged him in many occasions on topics about the ongoing war and such. Megatron wasn't obligated to give a detailed explanation, but he did anyway. He was glad to discuss such matters with his intent listener. Starscream was a surprisingly attentive audience to his discourses.

And the conversations definitely kept them both from going insane, Megatron decided one day after returning from a victorious battle against the Autobots. They had almost breached the north gates, and the warlord had to fight on pede in order to stop them. Although he was successful, Megatron sustained a deep slash wound in his left leg where a particularly brave Autobot had caused with an energy sword. He managed to decapitate the mech later, but the damage was already done. Due to the lack of a medic, Megatron had to rely on his meager medical skills and his self-repair system to treat it. As a result he was now forced to limp until his leg healed completely.

 **-I heard that you and your team just repelled a larger assault today and that you were seriously hurt. Are you all right?**  For once it was Starscream who initiated the messaging.

The corner of Megatron's mouth quirked in amusement. So his little Seeker did care more than he let on.

**-Nothing life threatening, just a sword wound I should have been able to prevent.**

**-Then who said your life was in danger? You should have that mech punished for spreading misinformation.**

Megatron wasn't really surprised about this. After all, rumors tend to travel among Decepticons fast and become more than distorted along the way. Just like his courting incident. He told Starscream about that fact gladly.

**-In fact, I believe that was how my so called "courting offer" became open. I never issued one. It was only a rather uncomfortable conversation with Shockwave about my great popularity among the Decepticons.**

There was an uncharacteristically long silence on Starscream's side, so long that Megatron considered messaging him again, when his second finally replied.

**-I thought you did it on purpose.**

**-On purpose? No, Starscream. I would never think of anything so preposterous in the middle of war. Only when I discovered that this ensured the Decepticons' loyalty did I allow it to continue for a brief while, but I soon had to stop this "courting offer" when I caught mechs fighting among themselves because of it. I thought you knew about this.**

Megatron truly did, but now that he thought of Starscream's angry rant the other day, he realized the Seeker didn't know at all. He should have clarified things sooner and saved himself a whole lot of trouble.

There was another long silence from Starscream, and this time he did not reply even after Megatron prodded him. He sighed and cut off the connection reluctantly. His second probably needed some time to himself to think things over. Megatron needed his own too.

"Lord Megatron, the Autobots had set up a siege against us around the entire city-state!" Straxus suddenly ran into the command center with his urgent report, "We would have caught them earlier, but they used a cloaking technology to hide their energy signatures. What are your orders?"

Megatron inwardly groaned as he pulled himself from his thoughts back to the reality of war. His duty as Decepticon leader still came first before anything.

* * *

"What?! Megatron's forces are outnumbered at Altihex, which is currently surrounded in a siege?!" Starscream exclaimed, horrified.

"Yes, Commander Starscream. It is unlikely for them to keep the city-state and get out unscathed at the same time." Skystalker, who had given the bad news, replied honestly.

The Seeker was strangely distressed over this. He knew Megatron could probably fight his way out with little to no difficulty. But the odds of being outnumbered and surrounded were not good. What if Megatron offlined in the process of escorting the others out? After all that mech always placed the others' safety before his. And what if his wound hindered him? He would be slower than usual in battle.

And that conversation they were having a megacycle ago… Starscream's mind was still reeling from the many revelations Megatron had given him. One of the main reasons he had distanced himself from his leader, apart from the desire to keep himself safe, was utter disgust at the warlord's inappropriate courting offer in the middle of war. Even though Starscream had been assured of his leader's devotion to his cause and his diligence to see it fulfilled, he still wasn't completely convinced yet.

Now that Starscream realized Megatron had done it unintentionally, he fully regretted his earlier misgivings, which was exactly why he can't stand by and watch Megatron become trapped in a nearly-unbreakable siege. He still had his duty of second-in-command to fulfill by aiding his leader whenever he needed it.

"Skystalker, prepare a regiment to depart for Altihex immediately. You and I will lead them to provide backup for Megatron." Starscream ordered before leaving the room in a hurry, followed by Skystalker. However as a result he failed to see the shuttle pulled back by a nearby Oil Slick with a knowing wink.

"He sent the backup immediately. You owe me fifty credits."

The shuttle groaned as he handed over the cash reluctantly, "How would I know that our second-in-command would still come to Lord Megatron's aid? Everyone knows how many times Starscream argued with our leader recently."

"Oh, but I think they're patching up things rather nicely. Before you know it, these two may be declaring themselves a couple and act all lovey-dovey around each other. You sure you don't want to shorten your bet of three thousand stellar cycles?"

"Ha! You obviously spend too much time gossiping on that thrice-slagged forum. Chances of that happening so soon are as low as Lugnut planning a coup d'état against Megatron, and I'll be the one laughing at you when you cough up your two thousand credits. Now let me go. I have a regiment to lead and a siege to break." Skystalker returned good-naturedly before turning away to sprint after Starscream.

Oil Slick chuckled deviously to himself, "Well, we shall see, my good friend Skystalker."

* * *

A few cycles later Starscream and his regiment were slicing through the air in their flight-capable alt-modes as fast as they can towards Altihex. He could already see the airborne shadows of some Decepticons above the city-states and the faint flashes of laser fire. Was Megatron among the group who suddenly plummeted as if injured fatally? Or was he one of the fliers who transformed to do battle on the ground?

Starscream found himself worrying more than he liked as he got closer. Why was he suddenly concerned about Megatron this much? He led this backup in the hope that they will keep Altihex, not to make sure that his leader stayed safe.

Alright, maybe a little bit of the latter. Starscream found it surprisingly difficult to accept if Megatron had offlined after spending so much time speaking to him over the messaging network.

And then they were flying right over Altihex. The Seeker could see that the Decepticons were clearly outnumbered. Most of them had come out of the city-state to fight the advancing Autobots, but were slowly being driven back. There were many offlined Autobot frames littering the battleground already, but there were also a surprising number of Decepticon ones too.

Where was Megatron? He sincerely hoped he wasn't among the gray corpses. Starscream deployed his long range scanners tuned to his leader's energy signature and looked around almost frantically.

There. The warlord was on the ground fighting off a mass of Autobots trying to break through the gates. He was using both his swords and fusion cannon, a deadly storm of whirling blades and blazing fusion energy. His opponents fell away before him steadily, but more arose to take the fallen's place. In other words, Megatron was fighting a losing battle.

Still Starscream couldn't help but admire the style his leader used. He hadn't had the chance to see Megatron in action yet, and now he was glad that he did. The large mech fought in a rather unorthodox fashion, surprisingly agile as he leapt around with his swords spinning and slashing. No strike was in vain, for one opponent fell with each blow. Combine that with concentrated blasts from his cannon in many occasions, Megatron was truly an unstoppable force to reckon with.

But the warlord was tiring. Starscream could now see a previously overlooked limp in Megatron's movements, and his swings grew slower as time went on. He had to do something.

"Commander Starscream, we await your orders." Skystalker interrupted his thoughts.

"Spread out into twelve teams to drive back the Autobots in any area needing aid. I will support Lord Megatron himself." The Seeker's mind immediately went into battle mode, placing most thoughts and emotions aside in favor for making quicker decisions in conflicts.

With that the team split up and flew in different directions, while Starscream transformed and landed right beside Megatron.

"I don't remember calling for backup!" Was the warlord's abrupt greeting as he beheaded two Autobots with one blow.

"And you are a glitchhead for not having done so," Starscream shot back, nailing another fatally with a blast from his null-rays, "Clearly you are outnumbered."

"Don't tell me you left Kalis undefended." That ungrateful slagger! First thing he thinks of is the defense of a non-sentient city-state.

"Of course not. I left more than half of my forces there. Aren't you supposed to be thankful that I even bothered to come to save your sorry aft?"

"Ah, I shouldn't have worried," Megatron gave him a wide grin, "Kalis is safe under your command while I struggle to keep Altihex from being taken. Glad you're here, Starscream."

The Seeker wasn't given any time to go over the meaning of Megatron's words as another wave of Autobots assaulted them. The two took them down with their combined firepower this time, making short work of them. Starscream realized that he worked well with Megatron as a team. Whenever his leader neglected to deal with a group who had sneaked up, the Seeker finished them off with well-aimed shots. Whenever the Autobots got too close for him to use his null-rays, Megatron took care of the problem with his blades. There was even once when a few missiles were fired in their direction, the warlord fired his cannon hit at least three of them, causing them to detonate harmlessly a distance away from them. But one of them just barely missed the two and impacted against the supporting beam, and Megatron maneuvered himself so that he stood in the path of the explosion, where his tougher armor repelled the waves of rolling fire. Soon they were lowering their weapons amid a pile of still-sparkling deactivated frames.

"Well, that was thrilling." Megatron said almost cheerfully, "I haven't fought like that in ages. You make an excellent backup, Starscream."

The Seeker would retorted back something sharply to hide that unexpected embarrassment that arose in him if he were in any situation except in the middle of battle. There was still a siege going on and that other Decepticons were being outnumbered as they speak.

**-Commander, the west gate of Altihex is currently faltering under another assault via pulse canon. We need you here ASAP to put it out of commission with your null-rays. It is too large for us to destroy completely.**

"Come on, the battle's not over yet." Starscream sprinted towards the provided coordinates and was about to transform until he heard a loud clang behind him. He whipped around only to see Megatron collapsed on one knee with a strained expression on his faceplates.

"Megatron!" The Seeker immediately ran to his leader's side.

"I'm fine," The warlord spoke through gritted dentas, "I've overexerted my injured leg and reopened the wound. It might prevent me from fighting properly, but I'll live. Go on ahead to where you're needed. I will catch up later."

Starscream ignored him. Instead he examined the other's left leg. The slash wound looked nasty, with energon leaking from the jagged opening and wires sparking deeper within. Megatron wasn't going to walk around with a wound like that; he would get offlined in a nanoklik before he knew it. Starscream unsubspaced a small medical kit to tend to the gash, much to Megatron's protest. But while he was in the middle of patching up the opening, he heard the groan of straining metal above.

"What is that sound?" He wondered aloud.

Megatron twisted around to look, and suddenly he lurched to his pedes and seized Starscream off the ground. Through his disoriented vision from being so abruptly moved, the Seeker saw the supporting beam that a missile had damaged was starting to fall down right where they were standing, gaining speed as it gathered momentum. Megatron had started to stagger away as fast as he could, but he wasn't going to make it. The pace they were going at was too slow…

Then Starscream was flying through the air, thrown bodily by his leader. He hit an opposite wall and saw stars at the same time the supporting beam finally landed on the ground with a deafening clang. At first he lay stunned by the impact, wondering what the heck just happened. Then Starscream remembered how the warlord had been left behind when the beam fell, and managed to look back despite his still-spinning vision.

Megatron was pinned down completely by the beam, which had fallen across his back leaving him trapped and unable to move. Not that he was moving. The warlord was lying strangely still with his limbs twisted in askew angles.

Starscream's spark twisted violently at the hapless sight. He can't believe what he feared had come true in the worst possible way. For a moment he completely forgot about the battle raging in other parts of Altihex. Few mechs could survive having a support beam that thick crushed on them. As for Megatron, he was still an ordinary mech despite all his skills in battle. There was a possibility that he may be already offline. No…! He can't be, not after Starscream had just seen him after orbital cycles. Not after his leader had saved him from a painful deactivation. Not after most misunderstandings were resolved between them and…

Starscream's throat suddenly constricted, threatening to cut his breath off as he stood staring at the prone form of his leader.

A pained groan caught his attention, and the Seeker was thankfully pulled out of his hyperventilating thoughts. Megatron was now shifting feebly underneath the fallen beam.

"I knew I awoke on the wrong side of the berth this morning," He complained, "First the leg wound disables me, and now this!"

A strong sense of relief that seemly didn't belong to Starscream swept through him, causing his knees to weaken and almost collapse. But he quickly rushed over and deployed a quick scan. His leader was miraculously unharmed apart from his leg wound and a few large dents in his upper torso. After the beam is removed, he should be fine to continue on in battle.

**-Commander Starscream, we need you here now! Any moment and the Autobots would be breaking through our faltering defenses and wreak havoc with their still-very-much-intact cannon!**

Slag it all! Starscream cursed. He couldn't exactly leave Megatron lying here completely defenseless or allow the enemy to gain entry. To make things worse, he spotted a group of Autobots heading towards them. They had seen the downed figure of Megatron and were now rushing forward.

"Go!" Megatron insisted, "I can still defend myself with my cannon. You are needed more for the defense of Altihex."

The Autobots drew closer. The Decepticons called for backup again. Starscream had to make a split-second decision.

"What are you waiting for, Starscream? Go! I will be fine!" Megatron urged him again.

"Oh, shut up, you fragger!" The Seeker snarled. He had now made his choice. The backup can hold up for a few cycles longer, but getting Megatron out would have to come first.

Starscream seized one of the warlord's swords which had been dropped on the ground and hacked at the supporting beam fiercely, hoping if he cut it down to size Megatron would be able to maneuver himself free. The sword was indeed sharp, and there was soon a sizable nick in the solid beam. But he wasn't going at it fast enough, for the Autobots were beginning to shoot at them.

"Use my cannon. It can also serve as a cutting torch." Thankfully Megatron did not argue here. Starscream immediately hauled the detached cannon up with considerable effort and by Megatron's brief instruction, activated it so a steady beam of fusion energy shot from the barrel. Half of the supporting beam fell away beneath the torch easily, but by then the Autobots were upon them.

"Go away, you lot of mis-bred scum!" Starscream howled as he dropped the cannon to swat them aside. But more of the smaller mechs surrounded him, while a few stalked towards where Megatron lay straining to roll off the considerably shortened beam.

The Autobots around the Seeker opened fire, and while he grimaced from the stinging pain on his armor, he returned the favor mercilessly. They faltered once or twice, but resumed as if nothing happened. By then Starscream was getting cornered into a wall. He was getting desperate as his aim began to grow wider and wider. He had to get back to Megatron! Had to… the Autobots were probably…

No… he couldn't. Why couldn't he fight past the circle? The group had now gotten too close for the Seeker to continue to use his null-rays, and yet he could no longer delay leaving his leader alone with the enemy.

Starscream again had no choice. He curled his claws tightly and slashed into the nearest Autobot without mercy. The resultant agonized howl of pain and the spray of energon on his armor almost made his tanks roil in disgust. But he did not falter as he tore into his adversaries in a whirlwind of razor-sharp claws and severed limbs. Soon Starscream had dispatched most of the Autobots in this manner, and those who weren't offline were helpless to stop him as they lay dying from their fatal wounds.

Soon there were only four of those diminutive mechs, so Starscream was able to put enough distance between them to use his null-rays again. Only then did he remember what exactly the sticky warm substance coating his hands was as he raised his arms to fire.

He froze, staring his dripping fingers. The brilliant pink of energon against the dark color of his arms suddenly made him feel nauseous, so much that he had forgotten he was in the middle of battle. The metallic scent of the life fluid threatened to overwhelm his senses completely, and when he remembered how the Autobots' soft pliable armor had parted under his slashes, Starscream almost purged his tanks right there and then.

The few Autobots that remained had recovered and now raised their weapons to fire at him again. But suddenly there was a flurry of movement and the flash of steel, and the four mechs toppled over, offline.

Megatron was back on his pedes with his swords retrieved. He had bisected each of the Autobots neatly in half with one powerful strike.

"That, Starscream, was one of the most brutal and effective displays of battle I had ever seen," The warlord gave the Seeker a scrutinizing look as he lowered his blades, "I would ask why you refrained from hand-to-hand combat, but you look severely shaken. Are you all right?"

"Of… of course! This is nothing!" Starscream said flusteredly. He caught sight of his energon-stained claws again and shuddered again. He wanted nothing more right now than to scrub the pink fluids off his hands as fast as possible.

Then Starscream unexpectedly realized Megatron was looking at him with a concerned light in his optics and how he looked so incredibly masculine with his battle injuries. His disgust was soon forgotten as he met his leader's glance. Starscream suddenly just wanted Megatron to kiss him again, to hold him close to his sturdy frame, calm his shaken nerves by stroking his helm gently and forget all about the battle around them…

**-Commander Starscream, the Autobots had broken through the west gates! Are you on your way yet?**

**-Coming right away,**  Starscream was forced out of his untimely daydreams,  **I'm bringing Megatron with me.**

**-Thank Primus. We need all the help we could get to drive the Autobots back.**

"Can you continue on, or should I call in Hook to attend to you?" The warlord prodded.

Starscream had to stop another series of thoughts concerning Megatron's outright concern and how sweet it was of him. Instead he responded with a short "no" and took to the air in his jet mode with his leader following shortly.

He couldn't afford to dedicate his thoughts to Megatron again, not after arriving at the provided coordinates and seeing most of the Decepticons locked in fierce combat with the Autobots. Although the former had the advantage of flight and superior firepower, the latter were more nimble, and most of the shots missed them as they advanced further into the city-state.

 **-I need half of you lot to fight on pede.**  Starscream ordered.

And then everything was pandemonium after that. The Seeker attacked from the air with his null-rays and Megatron with his fusion cannon, perhaps to favor his injured leg. The ground Decepticons fought with maces, energy swords, staves and the like, effectively halting the Autobots' advance.

Eventually it turned out the enemy once again had them outnumbered. Calling aid from either Kalis or Kaon would take too much time. In fact, Altihex would have been lost if not for the unexpected arrival of another backup straight from Kaon, led by Hook himself. When the battle was finally won and the Decepticons celebrated gladly, Starscream still wondered of its source.

 **-I thought you and Megatron needed backup, for I saw Autobot forces marching by a few solar cycles ago, in addition to a late intel report from the scouts.**  The mystery was solved when Blitzwing contacted the Seeker shortly afterwards.

**-Thanks. You really saved us from a sound defeat. By the way, how did you muster the Decepticons? You're not one of the higher officials.**

**-Told them the orders came straight from you. I had no trouble replicating your energy signature.**  Blitzwing was particularly puffing up with pride.

 **-Normally that action is punishable by deactivation, but I'll let you go since you saved our afts.** Starscream became somewhat amazed when he learned what his friend had risked.

**-Well, I expected nothing less. You can return the favor by reconciling with our beloved leader whose life you just saved today. AnD mAyBe MaKe OuT wItH hIm AfTeRwArDs! AhAhAhAhAhA XD**

* * *

Megatron winced as Hook twisted one of the more sensitive wires in his leg with a small plier. His wound had gotten worse after straining it in battle immediately afterwards, and the result was a much longer treatment than the shoddy patch-up work he had performed earlier. To make things even more uncomfortable, the medic retained his cool attitude he took on since the argument. Although Hook still treated Megatron respectfully, his coldness was apparent.

As for Megatron, he was still trying to recover from the exhilaration of battle and the seemly unreal events that had happened in the middle of it. Megatron had been relieved that Starscream sent backup before he even asked for it. And then he had found out his second served as an invaluable comrade in battle, that he actually cared for Megatron's well-being enough to fuss over his reopened wound.

And Starscream had saved him from under that supporting beam, Megatron was still reeling from the fact that the Seeker had delayed the backup just to make sure his leader got out first. His desperation was evident as he cut away at the beam with one of the warlord's swords, his faceplates twisted almost in an expression of fear. All in all, Starscream had used up valuable time in exchange for Megatron's safety.

He realized there was more to Starscream than meets the eye beneath his stubbornness to remain distant. The Seeker still cared to a degree despite every rant and tantrum he threw.

Starscream may be worth more than a good frag, now that he was Megatron's second-in-command, but that didn't stop the warlord from wanting to do it all the same. One thing was clear though: Starscream had proved himself today as an indispensable comrade in battle.

Though Megatron wondered a little about the Seeker's freeze up after he had dispatched the Autobots with his bare hands. True to his words to the other earlier, he had never seen any mech who fought so… brutally and messily. Starscream must have been reluctant to do so, but being cornered had forced him to use his claws. Why did he seem to hate hand-to-hand combat if he was so efficient with it?

"I heard the report about today's battle," Hook suddenly broke the terse silence, pulling him from his thoughts, "About Starscream fighting at your side since he came with the backup."

"Yes, he did." Megatron answered cautiously, unsure what the medic intended to do by bringing this up.

"One must wonder why he bothered to leave his post at Kalis and come to your aid. He could have just sent the regiment only." Hook mused.

"Starscream is the type to oversee his work in person."

"And that incident… in which he freed you from under the supporting beam. Do you know he could have caused Altihex to be lost? It was only our timely arrival that saved it." Hook's tone turned frustrated.

"Look, Hook. If you're going to pick an argument about my second-in-command, I'm leaving right now." Megatron's mood also turned sour. He was already tired from the battle, and Hook's sharp words weren't helping at all.

"Don't you dare!" The medic's visor flared bright orange as he gave a vicious jab into his leader's leg, causing him to almost howl at the sudden pain, "I need to finish treating your leg before the wound could get any worse."

"Then stop criticizing Starscream's exemplary behavior in the battle! Has he not suffered enough from the others' criticisms that everything good he does must be picked apart and analyzed?"

At this Hook suddenly seemed to deflate as he sighed forlornly, "Sometimes… you are more like… him than you realize."

 _That_ brought up memories Megatron absolutely refused to recall and had suppressed since his coming to power. He had forbidden all troops to mention the events preceding it, so now that Hook had done so, he knew he had probably overstepped his boundaries. Megatron was nothing like  _him_ , never in a quadrillion stellar cycles.

But it was too late. He tried to force down the immediate flashbacks whenever that mech was concerned. The warlord was successful, though a grimace twisted his faceplates as he harshly ground out,

"Do not bring him up in this conversation. He meant nothing to the Decepticons since the day I exiled him. Let his legacy fade along with his accursed designation."

"That wasn't my point," Hook shook his helm, "I meant to say that your new second has potential."

Megatron was the littlest bit grateful that the medic had recognized his struggle and switched the topic to a more important one. He remained silent though. Anything Hook had to say about his second was crucial to gaining his support.

"I saw the way you two worked together in the midst of battle, and to be frank, I'd never seen such partnership before. Even I must admit that together you two make a formable threat for any Autobot who dares to cross you."

"I am glad to see that you are beginning to accept Starscream as a suitable second-in-command." Megatron replied plainly enough, but his relief was instantaneous.

"Not accept. Acknowledge." Hook corrected, "That Seeker still has a rebellious streak I would rather see gone, but that will eventually fade with time. My main point is: Today I saw how well you worked with Starscream and how you two seemed to watch out for each other in battle. He will definitely prove to be a vital figure among the Decepticons. I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions so fast without observing him further."

Megatron remained silent for awhile as he mused over Hook's words and the fact that he had apologized. The heavy feeling that had been sinking deep into his spark day by day lessened quite significantly. Although Megatron outwardly showed indifference over the argument, he was distressed on the inside. Hook was his staunchest supporter during his rise to power; to have him as an enemy was one of the things Megatron swore to never let happen. He was extremely glad that it seemed like the medic was once more on his side.

As for Starscream, Megatron knew that he was capable from the very start, though he was unable to prove it. He also knew that although the Seeker may be an influential figure in the future, he would also be one of his least obedient subordinates. Megatron still wasn't worried. Starscream was rebellious in a way often beneficial to the cause. The others might oppose him, including Hook, but he will always prove himself in the end.

"There is nothing to forgive," Megatron finally returned, "You only realized Starscream's capability today. He will make a good second-in-command."

"To be honest, I'd never seen Shockwave do such a thing before, putting a battle in jeopardy just to save your life alone. That mech would have accessed the situation and concluded it was more logical to help in backup."

Speaking of Shockwave, Megatron suddenly realized he had a former second still lying unconscious, recovering from his wounds. What should he do with him now that Starscream had taken his place, if he should happen to awake? Megatron asked the medic of the progress of Shockwave's repairs, and Hook told him he would probably online in a solar cycle or two, although it would be quite a while before he could enter actual combat.

Megatron groaned audibly, drawing a sympathetic look from the medic. Things were going to turn messy soon.


	14. Inaccessible

A few megacycles later, Megatron was back in his temporary quarters preparing to rest for the day. His leg wound had been sealed, but he was not to overstrain it for the next few solar cycles. Fine with him. Megatron was planning to take it easy, if the Autobots allowed him, that is.

He activated a datapad as he lay on his berth, going through the statistical reports of the army. However the warlord soon gave up; he just wasn't in the mood for work right now. He didn't want to think about the threat of the still-unknown Project Omega. He didn't want to think about what he should do about the Autobots' space bridge. He didn't even want to think about what he would do with Shockwave when he awoke.

As Megatron usually did when he had nothing else to do, his thoughts turned to Starscream again. He had considered visiting his second after he emerged from the med bay, but decided against it when he realized perhaps Starscream also needed his rest. Megatron could always see him another time when they worked together, or just settle for a messaging session now that he was back at Kalis.

**-How are you, Starscream?**

**-I'm on my way to see you.**

Megatron was pleasantly surprised at the fact Starscream hadn't left yet, though he made no movement in making himself presentable as he lay sprawled leisurely on his berth. Here he was wondering when he should visit Starscream, and the Seeker particularly walked up to him voluntarily.

The warlord smirked when his thoughts turned to more… inappropriate things. He would still jump at the opportunity have Starscream in his berth. Megatron wanted to run his hands along those beautiful wings of his and hear the Seeker moan for him. He wanted to pin his second underneath him as he claimed him in a searing kiss, feeling Starscream writhe in suppressed arousal. And most of all Megatron wanted to take his frame, which would no doubt be tight from the appearance of his slim hips.

Megatron released a deep groan as his core temperature arose. He had to stop those thoughts now before he resorted to self-pleasuring.

"Oh, stop it! That wound is nothing compared to the last time I treated you." A familiar sharp voice pierced through Megatron's unsavory daydreams.

The warlord was snapped out rather rudely as he noticed the slender figure of Starscream standing beside the berth. The Seeker was currently wearing a disapproving expression with his arms crossed.

Megatron now instead had to suppress a chuckle. His second was probably the only mech he knew who would barge directly into his quarters after sending three unanswered pings over the network. Starscream also had absolutely no idea on what he was thinking, and it would be best to remain so.

"You look well, Starscream," He greeted cordially, "I thought you would be on your way back to Kalis by now."

"Not yet. I just… came to see how you're doing after being crushed under that beam. You were fortunate to have survived." The Seeker was now actually twiddling his fingers in discomfort. Megatron did not fail to notice this.

"Sit down," He patted the berth, "It's awkward to converse with you still standing."

Starscream's faceplates twisted into something like acute embarrassment or outrage. But he sat down anyways because there was no other seat in the room.

"I'm fine, to answer your question. Knocked out a few dents, sealed up that leg wound. I'm good as new, thanks to your quick intervention."

"What were you even thinking?! I didn't need you to save me by throwing me like that. What were you trying to prove? Is this another attempt to court me? Because it wouldn't work!" Just as quickly Starscream turned awkward, he suddenly became infuriated instead.

Megatron suppressed the urge to slap a hand to his own faceplates. His second really thought too much sometimes, often so quickly that Megatron lost track what he was even ranting on in the first place.

"Court you? I wasn't even thinking of anything relationship-related when I threw you out of the way. It was just…" Megatron sat up abruptly, ready to defend his actions, when he realized he had never thought of why he saved Starscream in the first place. He didn't have to really, for he could have just given a warning. The Seeker was more than capable of getting out of the way fast enough.

Why? Was it because he didn't want to lose one of his most able mechs, or was it because he didn't want to lose a mech he had the mind to interface with? Or was it just a spur of the moment?

Megatron was always a keen analyzer of character. At a first meeting, he would be able to tell whether a mech was easy to interact with or not and other valuable assets. In fact, Megatron knew almost every mech in his army. He knew Blackout preferred to act more than speak, so he could trusted with carrying out orders. He knew Oil Slick carried himself around with a casual attitude, but was surprisingly quick-thinking in battle, which made him an important comrade. He knew Straxus tended to see the negative side of everything and oppose just about every battle strategy, but he was a valuable advisor behind his pessimism. Megatron even prided himself in knowing the difficult-to-interpret Starscream, his second, who was both stubborn and strong and often had tendencies to go into emotional upheavals, but was capable, diligent and loyal to the Decepticons at the same time.

Megatron had analyzed just about anyone he met and came up with his conclusions, but he had never analyzed his motives and actions in detail.

By now the silence had stretched on for quite awhile, though Starscream was content to sit and stare balefully at his leader and tap his claws against the berth.

For once, Megatron took a quick moment to look at himself since the Seeker didn't seem intent on disturbing him.

_Tap, tap, tap._

Strange, it was, to know so much about the others and yet spend so little time knowing himself. Megatron had no reason to do so, for he always tried to lead the Decepticons the best he could. Every command and decision of his was meant to benefit his faction, nothing else. The outwardly sophisticated and eloquent impression the warlord gave surprisingly concealed a simple motive: To overthrow the corrupt government, bring equality to all inhabitants on Cybertron and liberate the Decepticons from the edge of society.

Where did Starscream fit into all this?

Megatron knew the answer already.

But to go further down the origins of that motive would unearth a series of events he would rather forget. Megatron had proclaimed that his leadership meant a new beginning when he first came into power for a good reason. He had ordered the abandoning of every Decepticon's past because he had done so himself. To complete this seemly impossible task, the warlord even took up a confident and flamboyant persona, on good terms with everyone and yet close to no one. The rather introverted and thoughtful mech he was before would have given way a long time ago under his tremendous burden.

_Tap, tap, tap._  For some reason Starscream's tapping was strangely mesmerizing to watch.

Why did he push his second out of the way though? Megatron also knew the answer to that question. The remnants of a solemnly swore oath came back to him gradually, as well as the circumstances under which he did so. A sincere promise to never allow the life of a close one to befall danger if it was within his power to prevent it.

Starscream? A close one?

Megatron shoved aside that thought swiftly, for he had also disregarded that promise as soon as he realized he could not protect every life during the war. He knew it would be better for him to form no close companionship again in order to remain as he was today. Nor did he desire such camaraderie with any mech among the Decepticons.

Then what was this strange  _longing_ that still lingered, a longing mixed in faintly with his desire to interface with Starscream. A longing that drove him to make him second-in-command, to defend his words in that particularly disastrous meeting and to throw him out of harm's way.

" _You shouldn't fight in the gladiatorial matches, Megs. I'm fine. We have enough credits to sustain us right now."_ An innocent-sounding voice arose from the depths of long ago, a forgotten past.

" _I made this cannon for you. It's a little unwieldy, but I made sure that its firing power compensates for it. Now you can finally defend yourself against that evil mech you've always been fleeing from."_

" _Can I go to the mines with you today? I want to help."_

" _No… it's not your fault… I should have stayed at home today. You were kind enough to bring me along. You couldn't have caused that cave-in… I'm fine… I'm fine… I just want to… rest a little…"_

Megatron wrenched himself violently from the memories that the voice threatened to pull him into. He couldn't recall right now, the past he had tried to forget for so many thousands of stellar cycles. But he just couldn't help to make connections even back then when the beam was about to fall, that he had once watched, helpless to do anything, as the mech he once considered as a younger brother perish before his sight.

"I was responsible for your safety back then." These words suddenly sprang forth unbidden.

Starscream froze, his tapping completely stilled.

"If it is within my abilities, I would not allow another's life to pass beneath my hands again."

It was only when the Seeker made a sputtering sound of disbelief when Megatron realized what exactly had left his mouth. For a moment he froze in sheer horror. What had he done just now, to indulge in his sealed-away past that had never surfaced since the beginning of the war? He thought he had them suppressed well enough to keep them from surfacing either during recharge or conscious thinking. This was the first time since then that Megatron had experienced any of those memories. The previous talk with Hook had almost brought them up, but now the confrontation with Starscream downright called them back to the forefront of his processor.

What was the Seeker doing to him?

Starscream was strangely silent for a very long time. When he finally spoke, he sounded uncertain and lost.

"I see. I'll be leaving now."

With that he rose stiffly to his pedes and walked as if in a daze through the door. The following whoosh as it slid shut did not serve to startle Megatron out of his reverie. He was still stupefied over what had just happened. He still can't believe that somehow his second had managed to call forth the past he deemed too painful to face.

Who was Starscream really?

* * *

 

**-Blitzwing, we need to talk, now.**  Starscream contacted his friend grimly as he soared through the air in his jet mode on the way to Kalis.

**-What is it? From the way you are presenting the request, this sounds serious. Is it about Megatron?**

**-Of course!** Starscream shot back indignantly. His mind was still struggling to grasp what had happened during his last conversation with his leader.

**-He didn't upset you again, did he?**

**-No…**  Starscream trailed off as he recalled,  **I asked him why did he bother to save me, allowing himself to become crushed by that beam. Megatron said he didn't want to see me hurt.**

**-...**

**-Blitzwing?**

**-...ThAt Is So CuTe! He LiKeS yOu! Go On, DiD yOu TwO kIsS aNd MaKe OuT** **(** **)? I CaN't BeLiEvE I mIsSeD tHaT! (_)**  Starscream could almost see the mentally-unstable mech gushing with excitement, no doubt in one of his random attacks. He inwardly snarled and told Blitzwing to get a hold of himself.

**-I'm sorry for my careless and thoughtless words, Starscream. Please continue.**

**-Thank the AllSpark that you're back. And then he continued on by implying that he lost someone he cared for before, and he doesn't want to make the same mistake again.**

**-That's not like Megatron. You sure he's not under the influence of some kind of medication?**

**-A few cycles before he said that, he was being his usual obnoxious self.**

There was a long pause as Blitzwing seemly thought over this.

**-I think he does have something for you,**  He finally answered,  **Remember that we discussed about personal loyalty to Megatron and how you insisted that he was trying to get you into his berth? Well, our leader may have developed a different kind of interest in you. But I'm not completely sure about this.**

Starscream didn't reply right away. He thought about that conversation, in which he finally mustered the willpower to go and visit Megatron in his quarters. The Seeker had felt partially responsible for his leader's injuries sustained during the siege, for he  _should_ have known better than tending to another's wounds where the enemy could fire upon them any time. However, just as he realized that Megatron had unnecessarily tried to save his life, Starscream had thought the attempt to be one of the warlord's famous strategies in his courtship. What was he even thinking when he got crushed in the first place?! The Seeker didn't need his help, and instead he got worrying excessively over his leader.

Until when Megatron fell silent after Starscream challenged the other to explain himself.

Megatron's reason then had him speechless. He didn't want to see Starscream hurt.

The more he thought about it, the more Starscream started to falter on the inside. His leader didn't want to see him hurt? He hadn't had anyone extend this kind of concern for him since… millions of stellar cycles.

**-Slag it all! Megatron's making it difficult for me to stay away from him!**

**-Why do you want to stay away from him? Do you still think him unworthy of you?**

**-I…**

Starscream again became buried in his own thoughts. Why did he want to distance himself from Megatron so determinedly right now, or shun him as vehemently as he had done in the beginning? He had noticed a long time ago that Megatron had ceased his perverted behavior completely, so the main cause of his disgust towards his leader had been nullified. In addition, he had seen how the other was truly on the night he was promoted to second-in-command, when he let down all defenses he had built up as the unwavering leader of the Decepticons.

The Seeker had once made up his mind that no matter what Megatron did, he would maintain the healthy distance of a superior and his subordinate with the other. It was the most he could do, after receiving such… degrading treatment when he first joined the Decepticons. He told himself again and again that nothing good would come from paying attention to his leader; following orders was all he should do. Starscream would not allow any mech to shame him, to treat him like a mere object used for another's pleasure.

Yet… why was he still intrigued? He had seen Megatron let slip his probable façade twice, and became interested in what lay beneath the other's easygoing and positive surface. There was something much more than what Starscream had seen, which made him wonder, why did his leader behave like an annoying pervert in the first place?

Why should he bother though? It was none of his business.

Starscream would  _never_ admit to anyone that on that memorable night, he had been drawn to the other for the first time. Megatron, sincere in speech for once and weighed down by that strange sorrow… and how he held the Seeker with the tenderness of a lover…

It seemed that keeping their relationship as strictly work-related was harder than it looked.

Starscream knew he shouldn't pry further, but he had an irrational desire to know what the other was like without the high walls he built up around himself. He had seen it happen again back in Altihex, and became curious about it all the more. Why did Megatron do so? Was there something he was trying to hide at all costs?

" _I was responsible for your safety back then."_ Megatron's expression had turned solemn when he uttered those words quietly. Simply recalling the memory brought a warm surge in Starscream's spark. He scowled, dismissing the though as quickly as it came. Since  _when_ did he take his leader's words that seriously?

**-You still there, Starscream? I mean to tell you one more thing. You mentioned Megatron saying that he once lost someone close to him. Do you know that's the first time anyone has heard our leader mention his past in any way?**

**-His past?**  Now that Blitzwing mentioned it, Starscream was starting to become curious,  **Someone must know of it, of who Megatron was before he rose to power.**

**-No one does. I suspect the requirement to "put behind all burdens of the past in order to strive for a better future" was set by Megatron himself, because for some reason he absolutely refuses to reveal his own. In a way our leader is completely inaccessible. Now we have one clue: He had lost someone close before, perhaps something he thought he was able to prevent.**

Starscream's first reaction was preposterousness, that the whole thing was as cliché as it could get, kind of like those sentimental romance novels Skyfire sometimes liked to discuss about. The shuttle may disapprove of their classmates' relationships, but he was secretly fond of such written work. So Megatron was now the love interest (though he loathed labeling him as that) with the dark and tormented past, requiring the clueless protagonist (though Starscream fiercely argued that he  _was not_ ) to solve the mystery while trying the rescue the other from sinking deeper into despair.

The Seeker decided that he would seriously stop the tropes before he got to "damsel in distress" or something similar. He wanted to have nothing to do with Megatron's past, the more tormented it was the farther he would stay away from it.

However, Starscream suddenly recalled the night when he had been promoted to second-in-command, when his leader became strangely solemn and yet uncertain at the same time. That was the cycle when he realized that there was more to Megatron than his casual exterior, and whatever caused him to act like that must be something worth knowing about.

So here was another mystery, Megatron's hidden past. At this Starscream became almost curious to solve it despite his earlier reluctance. While he was studying at the Academy, he recalled seeing a new classmate who actively tried to avoid his peers, was often found alone in a secluded corner and always the silent one. Rumors later revealed that the other had lost both of his caretakers recently, one to a fatal illness and another of grief. However after a few stellar cycles, the mech eventually opened up and was soon revealed to be a rather outgoing figure who even participated much in community work.

Not so with Megatron. Starscream was sure that whatever had happened to him, he had plenty of time to get over it. The obvious conclusion that the warlord didn't heightened the fact that his past was bothering him much more than it should, that it was a miracle that Megatron had kept it hidden so far behind his leadership duties and his inappropriate attempts to court the Seeker.

Eventually Kalis came into sight, and Starscream said his farewells with Blitzwing. The revelations he had received today were more than enough to digest.

* * *

 

**-Shockwave is online, Megatron. He is asking for your audience.**  Hook messaged the warlord one solar cycle.

Megatron sighed as he pinched his nasal ridge wearily. Here he was trying to figure out the next step to take in the war, trying to understand the extent of his interest in Starscream and most of all puzzling over the nature of his memories' reappearance, and now he had his former second to worry about. He still opened his messaging channel though, and the response was immediate.

**-Lord Megatron, it pleases me to see that you are still online and well. How are the tides of war?**

**-Unsteady, but still remaining in our favor. We have taken Kalis and Altihex and resolved our energon crisis. But the Autobots are developing new weapons technology they are yet to unveil.**

**-That is true. And—ah! I have to tell you further information about Project Omega. I unexpectedly found myself near Ultra Magnus' position in that ill-fated battle in which I was disabled. He was conversing with one of his officials and admitted that we were having them outwitted in almost every battle. But he said hopefully Project Omega will change everything. I had a feeling that this project would prove to be a formable threat and tried to contact you as soon as I put some distance from the battle. However you did not answer, and soon after that I was caught in that explosion.**

Project Omega… Megatron had almost forgotten about it. Now that Shockwave was awake, he was able to offer more information about it. But the warlord cursed himself for not noticing Shockwave's message earlier before it became buried until tens more during battle. It must have been sent while Megatron had been ambushed by Ultra Magnus and the Elite Guard. He would have received this news much sooner and react much more appropriately instead of puzzling over the project's nature for weeks.

Megatron was right in thinking Project Omega as the Autobots' edge in this war. The question was: What was it? He asked Shockwave quickly.

**-According to my understanding, it is a kind of weapon designed to deal mass destruction especially to opponents such as us Decepticons. If this was so, then the weapon may be large in shape and size.**

Megatron's mind immediately began to work on overdrive. He must make preparations in order to face a super weapon. But first he had to contact Starscream on his outlook on it…

Oh slag. Megatron still didn't know how to break the news to Shockwave.

**-My liege, if you are willing, I will set out for Altihex right away to take up my duties as your faithful second.**  As if on cue, Shockwave touched upon this awkward

subject.

**-Shockwave.**

**-Yes, Lord Megatron?**

**-I trust that before Hook left, he gave you orders to stay put in Kaon until you have recovered significantly. Coming here to Altihex is not an action beneficial to your present status.**

**-I would stand by your side, for no wound can hinder me from my sworn duty to aid you in all matters of warfare. Let me come to Altihex, Lord Megatron. I will not participate in excessive battles and so worry you with my less-than-ideal health. I will try my best to fulfill my duties, in which you must be suffering from the absence of.**

Shockwave was really one of the most loyal and capable mechs Megatron had ever met. He hadn't regretted his choice to recruit and appoint the shape-shifter as his second-in-command. But now that Shockwave was actually pestering his leader to allow him to take up his old position again, Megatron felt a hint of annoyance rise.

**-You didn't think I would leave the position of second-in-command open while you were unconscious, did you? Your role is one of the most important in the army, and I constantly need someone I could discuss my strategies with a mech I could trust to correct me. I had selected a temporary replacement.**

There was quite a strained silence between them. Finally it was Shockwave who replied tensely.

**-Who is it?**

Should Megatron tell him? He didn't want to make an enemy for Starscream so easily. But what could he do now? The other was particularly pressing him to answer.

**-Former head scientist Starscream. He also shows the valuable talent of analyzing situations quickly and reacting to them. In fact it was his strategy that won us Kalis and Altihex.**

**-You appointed Starscream as your second-in-command?!**

Megatron sighed again. He knew Shockwave would take it badly.

**-I am not against my temporary replacement, my liege. But you could have appointed someone much more trustworthy and loyal! Do you know that mech struts around as if he thinks he is the leader of the faction?! Prideful, arrogant, selfish, and ambitious! Anyone can see that he wants to replace you, hopefully by gaining your trust before finishing you off in the most unexpected way! How can you trust him that much?!**

The warlord was temporarily overwhelmed by Shockwave's angry rant and the fact that the normally well-mannered mech had lost his cool completely, so much that he was struck silent for several cycles. Although Megatron had been temporarily disoriented by his last encounter with the Seeker, his temper now flared up instead when he heard Shockwave's vehement words. How dare anyone accuse Starscream like this when he had only met the Seeker on a few occasions?! Megatron had been interacting with him for stellar cycles and Shockwave not even a solar cycle! If anyone knew the most about Starscream's character, it was Megatron.

**-Are you going against my choice made for the best of the faction? If I were you, I would pick my next words carefully.**

**-I mean no disrespect towards you, Lord Megatron. You may trust Starscream as your inmost advisor, but I find it difficult to serve under him. Please, my liege, listen to the words of one who has seen that mech's more unlikable side. Do not allow him to become your downfall and distract you from the war—**

**-Shockwave. I think you should consider yourself fortunate that I still see you as a valuable officer, enough that I would stay my hand from dealing you severe punishment for so blatantly opposing me. You are dismissed.**

Another long pause.

**-I apologize, Lord Megatron.**

Well, that was that. Megatron sighed for the third time as he cut the connection. The confrontation with Shockwave went worse than he thought. He never expected the shape-shifter to erupt in fury over Starscream's initiation. And his accusations, none of them were true to Starscream's character. Megatron had to admit that the Seeker was proud, but in a way that made him do his best. But arrogant and selfish? Not at all! He had read reports on how his second had risked his own life to save Blitzwing in the Kalis pipes. As for ambitious, Megatron was sure that he had reached the top of his goals, for there was no position higher than second-in-command other than the title of Decepticon leader. However contrary to what Shockwave had said, Megatron wasn't worried about Starscream trying to usurp him. The Seeker seemed content with his leadership, and he would receive it anyway if the warlord somehow became unable to lead.

Shockwave was definitely overreacting.

Still, what should he do with his former second? Megatron couldn't exactly demote Starscream because of Shockwave. He didn't want to offend either of them.

Megatron groaned instead when he realized he had another burden on his shoulders.

* * *

 

Later that night, he was unable to recharge straight away even after taking a mild sedative. Surprisingly enough, what kept him up wasn't the worry of dealing with Shockwave over his replacement; it was his conversation with Starscream earlier.

The warlord quickly shut down all non-essential systems and managed to force himself into a sedative-induced stasis before he could ponder more upon the matter. But it was already too late.

His dreams were filled with spilled energon and sounds of battle, the sear of laser fire against his armor and the throbbing pain of his many wounds. The blinding flashes of blaster fire and reflective glint of swung blades were everywhere around him, but insane laughter and the crazed glint of a pair of crimson optics were featured most prominently, mocking him, laughing at him, finding amusement in watching him trudge through the mire that was his subconscious.

_Out!_  Megatron snarled at the presence,  _You are as good as offline since I earned my leadership. Get out of my mind!_

There was no reply, but the laughter intensified just as he was thrust into abrupt darkness. For a cycle Megatron stumbled blindly about before his hands found a long thin iron bar that was hung on a nonexistent wall. Light suddenly flared from the object he was holding, and then he was swinging an energon pick into the glowing veins of energon embedded deep in the walls.

He froze, his grip tightening on the tool so hard that it groaned under the pressure. No... he can't enter this place again, not without knowing that he had caused the deaths of countless mechs the last time he was here, where tons of rocks threatened to collapse any moment and bury all who were underneath in everlasting darkness by a single careless swing...

Megatron gave a wordless cry and brought the pick down on his knee, snapping it into two with a resounding crack. The pieces shifted in appearance instead to form the familiar weight of his twin swords in both hands as the darkness swirled away to reveal sudden light, so bright that it blinded him. For a few cycles, he could see nothing, and hear only a tumultuous roar that drowned out everything else.

His battle instincts immediately alerted him of an opponent in the same area as he, so the warlord twisted out of the way of a swung energy mace. He was back in the arena, where the desperate mechs fought for their lives in the hope of gaining more credits and fame. Megatron could smell the harsh tang of freshly spilled energon and the acrid odor of scorched armor plating, so real that for a cycle he was overwhelmed by the sudden change of scene.

Nevertheless he managed to react quick enough to counterattack as his opponent charged again. Megatron flung his swords upwards to slice mercilessly through the other's frame, nearly bisecting him in half. More energon burst from his fatal wound, and for a nanoklik time seemed to stop so that the pink life fluid froze in its trajectory, glittering oddly in the high-powered floodlights.

Then it fell, now a sudden overwhelming torrent that washed everything from his sight. Megatron sputtered in disgust as some of the metallic tasting liquid splashed into his mouth. He tried to claw his way above the unrelenting flood, flailing around wildly after discovering that he had lost his weapons. The warlord finally managed to break through the surface, only to be swept under again. He could no longer see anything, but he could hear so many  _sounds_. There was the shrill voice of a young mech screaming in terror, the pleading sobs of another begging his listener to spare the sparklings, the enraged battle yells of someone he thought he should remember, the cacophonous rings of clashing weapons. All of these sounds blended into one continuous white noise, incomprehensible and overwhelming. Soon they threatened to overload his audio input, and Megatron tried vainly to turn it down. But the voices and sounds remained, growing progressively louder and louder until he shouted out.

Then it was all gone.

Everything became silent. The torrent that had swept him along had disappeared along with the noise.

Megatron found himself kneeling in darkness again, his hands flat against the unseen ground and helm drooped low with his optics tightly shuttered. He onlined them warily, only to see nothing at all even with his night vision. Reaching out blindly, he tried to touch for something, anything that would give him a clue on where he was. Unlike the last time, he couldn't find anything within reach for a few suffocating cycles.

The walls started to close in like an unrelenting vise around his being.

Megatron's intakes began to shorten so that his breaths came in ragged uneven gasps. He could feel his spark throbbing erratically, the normally soothing pulsing rhythm now threatening to overwhelm him with panic. At that cycle, his pede struck against something made of metal.

He fumbled blindly with his hands and found the object he had chanced upon. It was quite large, actually, compared to the mining pick. He felt straight edges, some curves that progressed as he traced his fingers along, and a round conclave surface. There were even a few indents…

He froze, slowly realizing what the object was just as he touched something wet.

Like a switch being flipped, light suddenly burst into existence, blinding Megatron once again. After he tried to readjust to the scene change, he wished his surroundings had remained in darkness.

The mutilated offlined frames of at least tens of mechs lay around him, their paintjobs already faded to gray. To his horror, all of them were either sparklings or young mechs. Their energon pooled beneath the wounds that had killed them, brilliantly vibrant against the colorlessness of the bodies. Even as Megatron watched, the liquid continued to flow sluggishly onto the ground.

The sight of deactivated mechs was familiar to him, but for some reason his tanks roiled in sick disgust. What kind of mech would slaughter those defenseless ones, and would break the unspoken but sacred law that no sparkling was to be harmed?

He looked at the one he had first come upon, and a name floated to the surface of his mind.

No, it couldn't be. He was already offline. He was never among those others, for he had died alone in the darkness―

Intakes hyperventilating, Megatron took a step backwards. The feeling of wetness was still on his bare hands, so he chanced a glance at them.

They were stained the same shade of pink of those younglings' energon.

His hands began to shake as he backed away further from the morbid sight.

Megatron was not the murderer; he was sure of it. Though he had cut down countless Autobots in battle, he would never raise a sword against those who cannot defend themselves. Then why was energon coating his hands, those dirty stained hands that took so many lives away but had never harmed a single youngling? Why was  _he_ there, when Megatron was sure that he had no part in striking the final blow? Why? Why? WHY?

He turned and ran, trying to scrub the energon off his hands as fast as he could. A movement at the corner of his vision caught his attention. At first he ignored it and continued on, but soon a figure appeared in front of him, forcing him to halt with the screech of metal against metal.

It was the same sparkling whose name he had recalled.

He stood unmovingly, his small stature barely reaching up to Megatron's knees. His clear blue optics were online, but they were dull and lifeless. His most prominent feature was a gruesome head wound that had almost split his small helm in half, revealing the intricate inner components of his brain module.

"Megs?"

The warlord's spark wrenched at that old nickname he had once tried to get rid of, and later allowed it to grow on him.

The youngling's optics then started to glisten with unshed tears, but when they trickled down his faceplates, they were the color of energon.

"Why did you leave me behind?"

With that Megatron awoke, bolting straight up from where he lay on his berth.

The familiar shapes that defined his room in the darkness greeted him, along with the faint hum of the sleeping computer console nearby. He almost greeted the emergence of reality with unadulterated relief, so much that he slumped limply onto his back again to stare at the ceiling.

His intakes still came in ragged gasps, and Megatron tried to calm down by dismissing the remnants of his dream from memory. There were parts that refused to go away completely though, particularly the last scene.

_Why did you leave me behind?_

He didn't. He hadn't had a choice. He would have never left  _him_ behind if it were out of his own free will. That was why he had sworn he would never let the life of a close one pass beneath his hands again if he was able to preserve it. It was how he honored that sparkling's memory by taking this personal oath, though Megatron had been reluctant to allow himself to become so attached to another.

Then what was Starscream?

Why was his second able to recall that promise? What link did the Seeker have with his past?

For the rest of the night cycle, Megatron was unable to fall into recharge again. He tossed and turned restlessly with his thoughts running rampant and far-reaching as he went over things that up until now, had stayed pushed at the back of his mind. In the end, the warlord had get up to face another new solar cycle without a nanoklik of rest. As usual, he soon shoved those thoughts aside in favor for his pressing duties, and soon the dream was only a fading specter of the night before.

But Megatron felt a sense of worry he hadn't experienced for at least a thousand stellar cycles. He had once yielded under the pressure of recalling the events that had haunted him for so long, a period of time in which he lost his motivation for everything. The warlord had recovered eventually, but he realized it couldn't happen again during the war. He had taken extra precautions to ensure it, yet there it was: A weak point found out of his desire to interface with Starscream.

He would never admit that the anxiety was largely laced with indefinite fear. Because to indulge in them meant acknowledging that he was much less unshakable than others thought, that many times he did not know how to lead the Decepticons, how to deal with Shockwave and most of all, how Starscream had become a potential weak link in his self-imposed façade to stay strong.


	15. Indissoluble

The following orbital cycles passed like a dream, the events which happened during this period of time seemly unreal. Each solar cycle was the same: Get up, double-check Kalis' defenses, ward off another Autobot invasion, report to Megatron and recharge. Although punctuated between those skirmishes were unexpected night attacks, the Autobots didn't try to lay a siege around either city-state. That was more than fine with Starscream.

Ever since he had learned of Megatron's possibly disturbed history, the Seeker had been initiating their messaging sessions quite diligently. But for some reason his leader became strangely withdrawn, never allowing their conversations to go on longer than necessary and speaking only about the most trivial of things. For example, it often went like this:

**-Well, Megatron. How are things at Altihex?**

**-Fine, thank you. You?**

**-Never better. The Decepticons under my command are finally beginning to quiet down. They accept me as their rightful commander now.**

**-That's good to hear.**

**-What's up with you? You usually never answer me so briefly.**  Once Starscream once even confronted Megatron about his apparent coldness.

**-Nothing. You are thinking more than you should again. Go get some rest; the city-state needs you at full strength to defend.**

Then the messaging would end, leaving Starscream feeling empty and confused. What did Megatron get stuck up his tailpipe? It was as if the warlord had made up his mind to distance himself from the Seeker, just as he had done the same to his leader so long ago.

Starscream had to clench his fists frustratedly. Why did this have to happen when he was about to try his best to discover why his leader had apparently sealed himself behind a confident outer shell?

To make things worse, he received news that Shockwave had awoken from stasis, although he was still too weak to do anything productive yet. Starscream was grateful that he wasn't currently stationed in Kaon. The shape-shifter would still cause trouble for him, even more now that Seeker had taken his place.

Soon he was preoccupied with the events of war again. Scrash had reported the Autobots warping onto the colonies out of a blue sphere of swirling energy, catching them off guard. They managed to hold back the enemy, but Megatron had to give orders to halt all advances of the army in order to combat them efficiently. For now the colony Autobots were no formable threat. However, it was clear that the space-bridge project was finished. The Autobots were now able to warp anywhere they wished.

Starscream knew Megatron was struggling to think of a way to counter this new threat, but he hadn't chosen to discuss it with his second. At first the Seeker was indignant over this. But after another round of advising from Blitzwing, Starscream realized that just like himself, Megatron needed his time alone to think.

 **-Perhaps he's even consulting his own trusted mech. That means he wants to make things work out between you two. I think that's a good thing.** Blitzwing concluded after his random persona finished gushing over the  _definitely nonexistent_ infatuation Starscream had for his leader.

But Megatron was not consulting anyone, for it was not his habit to reveal his inmost thoughts. He always struggled with them alone, like right now. Also contrary to Blitzwing's interpretation, Megatron wasn't thinking about how he could make things work out between him and his second. For some reason his thoughts kept returning to several stellar cycles ago, the time when he first started to associate with Starscream.

Megatron shuttered his optics as he sank into his memories. He remembered when Starscream had joined the cause willingly, an angry young mech who had been denied of his degree in the Cybertronian Science Academy. How could he ever forget how they first met by literally running into each other, or the increasingly amusing attempts Starscream made to avoid him?

Back then everything was much simpler than it was today.

When was it when he first wanted to interface with the Seeker? Megatron supposed that the desire eventually had to surface as he continued to observe Starscream. It was such a straightforward desire, for mechs would literally fight to share a berth with their leader. All he had to do is walk up to Starscream and ask.

But the Seeker was not easily won over. Megatron saw his pride and stubbornness, which kept him from submitting to the warlord's advances. However Megatron was not the mech to give up so easily, so he initiated the courting. Sometimes he wondered if the results would be better if he directly made advances instead. But Starscream was the type of mech who would kick him in the crotch and run for it rather than submit under him.

At first it wasn't serious at all. He only sought to gain Starscream's attention and hopefully the other's own interest. Though Megatron had made the Seeker his second-in-command with genuine desire to keep him safe, he secretly hoped that this action would give him a better chance of success. He had done all he was willing to do to appear desirable before his new second.

But now it seemed like this game had taken a new turn.

Megatron still wanted Starscream, but found himself concerned over his safety in battle ever since the Kalis incident. Starscream was rarely injured severely in battle, but the warlord suddenly found his spark constricting in its chamber during the few times his second did. He had dismissed it as the motivation to keep Starscream alive until he got what he wanted from him…

Until Megatron began to discover that Starscream was weakening him in ways he didn't comprehend.

He was skilled in rhetorics and analyzing other mechs, so he should be able to find a reason for this. But Megatron didn't understand this phenomenon. Whenever he spoke to Starscream over the messaging network, he felt himself open up more and more to his ever-inquisitive second, revealing more than he usually would about himself. Gradually he had started to make connections to his past; the memory files he had buried long before the beginning of the war were now surfacing.

What was Starscream doing to him?

Megatron cannot afford this opening up of himself. He had to be strong in order to win this war. It was the very reason why he resolved to forget his past when he became Decepticon leader. Afterwards he never thought about them, never recalled, never kept any mementoes, never regretted, never brooded over, and never spoke about it. Megatron was weary of becoming incapacitated every time when he remembered the amount of lives lost because of him. He cannot mourn for them, or curse  _him_ for ruining everything he touched. The Decepticons needed a strong leader in times of war, so Megatron had to get rid of all potential weaknesses he possessed.

But the memories he allowed to surface back then showed that he was already yielding. How had Starscream progressed from an interfacing interest to a mech who weakened his very personality?

If he continued to attempt to draw the Seeker closer to him, it would become worse. Somehow Starscream was capable of challenging his restraint itself and forcing him to ponder more than he should, so much that it was starting to bring up the past. It was a ridiculous thought, that another mech was responsible for this when he did particularly  _nothing_ , or had anything to do with his past. But it was reality; it had happened more than once already. He can no longer try to explain it with another reason.

Megatron thought of keeping his second at a safe distance from then on. He would not speak to him more than necessary, lest he make himself more vulnerable as time progressed. He would treat him strictly as a fellow worker, nothing more. Now that he thought of how Starscream was affecting his performance in the war, Megatron actually found himself intimidated by the prospect of a real relationship he couldn't afford to maintain, because his interest shouldn't have led to that in the first place.

The warlord sighed for the umpteenth time as he tried to pull from his brooding to focus once more on the war effort. He hoped Starscream would take the hint. But how? The Seeker had finally proven his personal loyalty when he saved Megatron from under that beam during the last battle. How could he return the favor by distancing himself from Starscream? Did he even want to distance himself from him?

Megatron soon had to shove all thoughts about his second the back of his mind to concentrate on his work. As for Shockwave, he had received an extremely long apology letter from the shape-shifter, which mainly begged for his forgiveness for his insolence. He eventually allowed Shockwave the position of the head of the intelligence division, a job fit for his currently recovering frame. But Megatron had a feeling that Shockwave wasn't done with Starscream just yet. He would have to keep a close optic on his former second from now on.

* * *

 **-Lord Megatron! The Autobots are driving us back as they send more forces through the space-bridge. Five colonies have already fallen under their control. We need to do something quick and soon!** Sideways brought grim news one solar cycle during a sudden attack on Altihex.

 **-Can you afford to spare the Decepticons currently stationed at the colonies not under attack?**  Megatron immediately got thinking, even though he was currently soaring through the air in his alt-mode, taking down advancing Autobots with his cannon with well-aimed shots.

**-No, sir. We don't know when or where the Autobots would strike next. If we leave a colony understaffed, they may be taken even faster than before.**

**-Then I will send backup from Kaon and deploy some of the space fleet.**

**-It may be too late, but that would be much appreciated, Lord Megatron. Sideways out.**

The warlord sighed inwardly as he eliminated another group who had hoped to sneak into the city-state. One would think that the Autobots would have given up by now, since they were trying to take back the two city-states for orbital cycles without success. But now that the colonies were under attack via space bridge, it was as if the Autobots had received a confidence boost, that they believed they could take Altihex and Kalis with the power of teleportation at their disposal.

The war would be dragged on longer with this new turning point.

Megatron knew he was becoming weary of the Great War. He was tired of having to manage his army in order to counter the assault of their enemy. It used to be an attempt to reform the government, but now it had evolved into a full out war. Just as many Decepticons offlined each solar cycle as the Autobots. The war was sapping everyone's strength, resources and lives. Megatron had seen how the Decepticons progressed from marching into battle in war songs and triumphant confidence into grim determinacy. The somewhat excited atmosphere of winning the war at the beginning had dissipated almost completely, and now every Decepticon fought for their own lives instead. The war had to end sometime soon before it did irreparable damage on both Cybertron and its inhabitants.

But how? The Autobots showed no sign of yielding at all, which they would probably never do with their advantage of space-bridges. They would not admit defeat and acknowledge that their government needed a reform. And they would never do so, unless they were utterly and completely defeated.

Which would not happen soon, Megatron realized. He needed a miracle in order for this to happen. The Decepticon military strength and skills were not enough to win this war. They didn't have the scientific minds to make new breakthrough inventions like the Autobots did. They needed something else.

By the AllSpark, Megatron was going to get himself offlined if he was thinking this much in the middle of a battle. He barely managed to avoid two homing missiles fired at him by doing complicated barrel rolls, making them detonate in mid-air.

Wait, the AllSpark!

If he couldn't triumph by military strength, he might as well rely on the power of the otherworldly. The AllSpark was mainly known for its life-giving properties, but contained potent power within too. If it was somewhat harnessed and used as a weapon, then the tides of war could very well turn in the Decepticons' favor.

But no. The last time when someone tried to use the AllSpark, or more accurately, tried to integrate it into himself, the resultant surge of pure energy had driven the mech insane. Megatron knew better than most mechs that the sacred artifact was not a power to be trifled with, for he had known the results of this insanity first handedly. In fact, he once considered this idea at the beginning of the Great War only to discard it almost immediately. The Decepticons didn't need to suffer under another psychotic leader.

However, that was his predecessor who was such a mech. Megatron wasn't. His motivations were much too different. There was a slightest chance that he would succeed in what the other had failed.

In a losing war, the littlest hope was better than none.

Megatron smiled grimly at this revelation. Did he not swear that he would endeavor to strive to his limits to see this war through? What was a small risk compared to the victory that could be won?

Actually obtaining the AllSpark would be easier said than done. The artifact was currently kept in the hands of the Autobots in the city state of Protihex, which would no doubt be under heavy guard if they hadn't moved it to a remote location.

But one thing at a time. The warlord would have to get out of this battle alive in order to actually consider this idea. However, it gave Megatron a hope he hadn't felt for many stellar cycles.

* * *

One solar cycle Starscream received orders to travel to Altihex to meet with Megatron. Because what they were to discuss was classified top secret, they couldn't use the messaging network instead. The Seeker had asked the other about the nature of the discussion, and Megatron had only hinted it as "an action that may potentially win us a quick victory over the Autobots". His curiosity awakened, Starscream set out as soon as he can. But when he heard Megatron's plan, he had to burst out in a mixture of disbelief and horror.

"You want to use the AllSpark as a weapon?!"

"I don't see anything wrong about this to earn your exclamation," Megatron said shortly, "Your role is to devise a strategy that will gain us the artifact."

Starscream winced inwardly. He could see that his leader was being adamant about this hopeless plan, not to mention still withdrawn since they last spoke face-to-face. Not a good combination.

And using the AllSpark as a weapon! It was a thought so outrageous that the most radical of the Decepticons would quail at even the very notion of it. Even though the artifact was not in their possession, they still respected it for its life-giving abilities. All Cybertronians were sparked through the AllSpark, given life by the essence of the creator of their race. To use it as a weapon… it was utterly unthinkable.

"But the AllSpark is one of the seven sacred relics of Cybertron, known to be the representation of Primus Himself! Using it like that is almost like defiling it. The AllSpark gives life, and now you want to use it to end lives!"

It was only after finishing his rant that Starscream realized he had directly gone against his leader's orders. Seeing his current mood, Megatron probably wouldn't take it well.

"Starscream." Megatron's faceplates were hard, "I take it that just like me, you are tiring of this war."

"I…" The Seeker trailed off when he realized this was true.

"The Autobots will prolong the war with the invention of the space-bridge. We cannot afford to let them have an edge, which would no doubt sap more lives and resources from our side. The war must be won whatever the cost. Currently we have no means to counter them, so I have placed my hope in an artifact of Cybertron."

Starscream was almost won over to the warlord's side again. Everything he said made sense, and all appealed to the Seeker's desires. But he couldn't stop a nagging feeling from creeping up.

"Even if you discard the AllSpark's holiness and are still determined to use its power, you cannot guarantee that it would allow itself to be used. Its power is unstable and unrefined; it might even offline you if you dare to touch it with that intention in your mind!" Starscream voiced his worries.

"You speak as if the artifact has a mind of its own."

"It does, Megatron. Like I said before, it is a representation of the divine. The scientists of the Cybertronian Science Academy have studied the artifact for many millions of stellar cycles and still couldn't figure out its properties, other than that pulses with a life of its own."

"We will worry about that later," His leader remained unmoved, "For now the issue remains: How to obtain the AllSpark itself?"

"But—" Starscream was about to shoot back that despite using the AllSpark was a plan that might work, actually making it work was another plan in itself when he remembered Megatron's grim expression when he had last retorted. So the Seeker swallowed his words reluctantly and sighed. When Megatron got an idea, he seldom gave up on it.

When had his leader become so cold towards him, and what had he done to deserve it? Starscream was sure that he had not offended the other so much that he should change his attitude so drastically. Even though he hated it when Megatron was flirting with him, he suddenly realized he missed the warlord's positive and easygoing presence. Megatron had tolerated Starscream's violent emotional outbursts with nothing but a smile and a casual remark, never losing his temper towards his second. He always conversed with Starscream whenever he could, responding eagerly to whatever the Seeker said and offering his own experiences.

But Megatron had been changed by the war, and the Seeker wasn't sure whether it was for the good or worse. He would have never considered such a radical plan in using the AllSpark as a weapon previously. Now that the warlord had done so, it showed that he was truly desperate.

"Starscream." The gentle tone in his leader's voice caught his attention, "I want this war to end as much as you do. It has gone on long enough. I tell you the truth. Only one-half of the remaining Decepticons are the ones who first answered my call to arms. Something must be done before the Autobots vanquish us all. I don't want to continue to lose my trusted officers, especially you, Starscream."

The Seeker caught his breath sharply at this as his mind suddenly flash backed to on the night when he was promoted… then the time when he challenged Megatron to explain himself after the siege of Altihex. Both instances when his leader offered his concern when he had been least expecting it, when his spark warmed with longing at the other's words.

Despite his recent coldness, Megatron still cared for him to a degree. Though he had tried to keep his distance for some unspecified reason, the warlord had not discarded all possible feelings he might have for him.

What had  _happened_ to his leader's former inappropriate attempts to again his attention?

 _I didn't want to see you hurt._ Megatron had answered him when Starscream questioned his motives after the battle for Altihex. He couldn't even start to comprehend why his leader was suddenly so concerned over his welfare. But he had been concerned already before that…

_I don't want to continue to lose my trusted officers, especially you, Starscream._

He realized that no one had ever extended this kind of care to him. Not even Skyfire, with who he remained strictly as friends. The shuttle was kind enough to accompany him almost everywhere, force him to refuel and recharge whenever Starscream was engrossed in a project, help him in brainstorming for an assignment and more. The Seeker had several suspicions that Skyfire had wanted something more for a period of time. But things never went beyond that.

Megatron's hand suddenly found his, the warlord's larger one almost enveloping the Seeker's much smaller and delicate one. Starscream made a small sound akin to a gasp of surprise at the small but interestingly intimate contact. For some reason this felt more complete than the time when Megatron had made out with him so many stellar cycles ago.

"Help me end this war," Megatron leaned down to murmur right beside Starscream's audios, "With both sides at peace, we can actually consider… something between us."

"Both sides at peace…" The Seeker breathed, hardly believing what Megatron was saying. Was he openly admitting that he had given up his pursuit for his frame and wanted something deeper instead?

"All if we triumph over the Autobots using the power of the AllSpark."

He wasn't listening anymore. Of all the words Megatron spoke, only seven of them stood out to Starscream.

_We can actually consider something between us._

He looked up towards his leader, and suddenly found that their faceplates were so close that they were almost touching. In fact if Starscream only tilted his helm a little…

Their lips met.

The kiss was tender and soft, nothing dominating or wanting about it. Unlike the first time, it wasn't forced and meant to silence. Unlike the second time, it wasn't passionate and heated. There was simply the sensation of Megatron's mouth moving against his, his lips gentle and slow.

The older mech's arm wound around Starscream's thin waist, his other hand coming up to cup the back of his helm lightly with no intention to grope at all. Before he knew it, Starscream had brought up both his arms to wrap around his leader's elegantly-spiked helm, stroking fondly at the back. For the first time, he wanted to give himself fully over to the other, to enjoy the way his leader's hands rested lightly on him and how their lips molded against each other's.

The kiss seemed to last an eternity as the two remained connected, their frames intertwined closely. In fact Starscream wouldn't have separated at all, until a telltale whoosh interrupted the silence as the doors of the command center slid open.

They jumped apart almost guiltily, Megatron acting as if nothing happened and Starscream still blushing profusely as Strika strode in.

"Lord Megatron, I bring the report you had requested. Did I interrupt something?"

"Um… no," For the first time Starscream saw Megatron act flustered as he practically wrung his hands, "I'll have a look at that report, if you would please."

"And what are doing here, Seeker? I thought you were supposed to be defending Kalis." Strika then addressed Starscream in a hostile tone.

With that Megatron seemed to recover himself and calmly explained that he called his second over for a discussion over the best course of action to be taken in the future. Then he asked Starscream to return to Kalis and think up of a strategy while at it. It was like the kiss never happened, that Megatron had returned to his previous cold persona. Starscream could not help but feel a sharp twinge of disappointment at this. He had hoped that Megatron would snap out of it afterwards.

But no courtship was perfect. Starscream still had to think about what he should do about the AllSpark, and fight down his guiltiness while at it. No amount of distraction from his leader could assuage his emerging unease over the whole plan, though he secretly saved the memory where he could recall it once again whenever he was feeling discouraged by the other.


	16. Intentions

When Megatron finally finished reviewing Strika's report and was back in the refuge of his quarters, he let out a frustrated snarl and slammed the door shut so hard that the entire room seemed to shake at the resounding bang.

Why did Starscream continue to bring out his vulnerable side? Megatron had been planning to discuss his idea with his second, who hopefully would come up with a plan that would work in order to obtain the AllSpark. However, the Seeker thwarted him every time, so the things that happened during each meeting were no longer expected. In the end Megatron had to send him away again, because he knew he would continue to do reckless things with his second around. All in all, Megatron had control of the entire army, his highest council of advisors and could just about analyze any mech he spoke to, but he could not understand his second-in-command or the influence the other had over him.

He sank into a nearby chair and allowed his helm to rest against a hand wearily. Megatron hadn't expected Starscream to react so negatively to his plan. Explaining its necessity hadn't convinced the other one bit, so he tried a different approach. The warlord noted with a pang of guilt he had broken his personal promise of never taking advantage the fact that Starscream was much more easily moved by whatever sincerity he could conjure.

Except this time, most of it was true.

Megatron did want the war to end as soon as possible in the Decepticons' favor. The fact that many mechs who fought in the beginning were now no longer online was also real.

As well as his admittance that he did not want to lose his second. Megatron had begun to see what such a loss would do to him alone, the very real possibility that Starscream might enter combat one solar cycle and never return. It might happen any cycle from now on as the stakes of the Great War rose.

Before he knew it, he had allowed his spark to speak for him. The words that emerged from his mouth surprised even him, forcing him to confront the nature of his attraction to the Seeker. Megatron wasn't sure where that came from, though one thing was certain. He wanted more out of Starscream than sessions in the berth.

That kiss wasn't planned either. However, it was the first time Starscream had willingly gave himself into it. Not because of pleasure or desire, but because he had wanted… almost needed it.

He wanted Starscream, Megatron realized. He now wanted him in more ways than one. And right after he made the decision to distance himself too. He couldn't leave Starscream alone in his thoughts. How could Megatron even try to do so in reality?

The warlord had never wished for a lover and a potential bondmate. He was fine with mechs courting him in vain attempt, for he never took it seriously and nor would he allow them to gain what they wanted. Megatron liked to play hard-to-get. He had a good reason to never commit himself to any mech. Megatron had a faction to lead, an army to manage and a war to win. In his attempt to rid himself of any weaknesses, he had resigned to a life of solitude along with sealing away his past.

Truly he did not have time for such processor-consuming activities as considering an actual bondmate. He cannot afford to be concerned over a mech he cared greatly for in battle, or allow the leadership he had gained through so much toil and trial to be called into question. He could not focus his attentions on a faction, a war, a bright future and a lover all at once, because he reminded himself again and again that the Decepticons deserved a better life under a wise and discerning leader.

It was what Megatron should have been.

It was what he always aspired to be when he saw how the Decepticons suffered under his predecessor. He had felt empathy with them even as he spoke to them about the possibility of a better life.

Megazarak had laughed at him instead when he confronted the psychotic leader _, "That is why you would not survive long in the coming conflict. You allow your emotions free reign when they should be discarded in favor of your goals. Empathy indeed. I would not stop you, but on the solar cycle when you finally collapse from your self-imposed burdens I will be watching, knowing I was right all along."_

Megatron would never acknowledge that these words had bothered him much more than he thought, haunting his mind even now. It was almost as if the other had named himself as an empathetic watcher, when he had nothing in him that resembled kindness. Megatron remembered his example though even he had sealed everything else away, and strove to become the leader Megazarak never was.

But the warlord knew that of all the falsifications the other uttered, this was the only one that was true. He was the living proof, a leader who had seemly laid aside all sentiments to better fulfill his duties. Megatron had unknowingly taken his predecessor's advice, because though in the end he had dueled the other to the death for the Decepticon leadership, Megazarak remained the only mech who knew him better than anyone else.

 _Enough, stop!_ He shouted at himself, clenching his fists tightly as he sprang up from his seat.

Each time when this happened, it was getting harder and harder to pull himself out. Once Megatron could simply dismiss such recallings by turning his attention to other matters, but even doing this became an arduous task in itself. He could literally feel the walls he had built against these memories weaken so that he was forced to remember more and more in the most unexpected times, often when he was alone.

He was losing control of himself.

Megatron didn't want to hold anyone responsible but himself. He wanted to say that it was because of stress and the pressures of war. Yet he knew when this had started despite making a previous conclusion that he would not blame Starscream. Ever since his second confronted him after that eventful battle at Altihex, the warlord kept making connections. This in turn brought up the undesired memories, through which Megatron realized that his second reminded him greatly of himself, and of the many failed attempts at companionship in his life.

Megatron saw so much of himself in the Seeker; the young rash mech he had been before he seized the leadership of the Decepticons. Both were stubborn to a fault, persistent in their goals and determined to choose what they felt was right. It was after so many hard lessons learnt when Megatron finally became the calm collected leader he always wished to be. He wouldn't let Starscream experience what he had gone through. No mech deserved to do so, and that was exactly why Megatron wished he could put an end to this war.

As for the failed attempts at companionship, the warlord had once believed that he bore a curse on him after seeing how mechs he associated always ended up offlining in terrible ways. Megatron later found out his every activity was tracked by a malevolent pursuer during his wanderings in Kaon, but these experiences had left its permanent mark on him…

The warlord had to shake his helm in an attempt to dispel this new realization and insight into his secret fears. He didn't want to go down this particular path so soon after remembering, yet he could not deny that his second had a definite hold on him.

"Starscream, you continue to influence me even when you are not present." Megatron murmured softly, "You really are something, aren't you? I knew it since the solar cycle we met in the throne room that you are someone different."

Silence answered him, although the warlord knew if Starscream was present, he would have snapped something back good-naturally.

Megatron sighed again. He hoped that talking to himself wasn't a sign that revealed he was a sociopath by nature. There were enough things for him to worry about already.

* * *

"No, that wouldn't work… it's too risky. This wouldn't work either… needs too many resources we don't have and causes too much destruction. Nor this… it's impossible. Arrgghhh! That Megatron! How does he hope to carry out such a presumptuous plan?! That fragger! What is he even thinking?!" Starscream started to rant once again as he went over the plans he had devised for the taking of the AllSpark. None of them seemed to work out, and the Seeker found this strange. He usually had an idea that would work the war in the Decepticons' favor, whether it be the taking of a city-state or a resource. But as for one working plan concerning the AllSpark, he had none at all.

Starscream slammed the datapad he held down hard on the table and scowled darkly. For the first time, he felt that he did not agree with Megatron at all. There were plenty of other options that  _did not_ involve the mysterious relics, all of them with the same amount of success in winning the war. To dabble with the AllSpark with the purpose to destroy would not bode well for everyone at all, be it Autobot or Decepticon.

It contrasted so much with what happened earlier. A part of the Seeker was still blissfully enjoying being in Megatron's embrace, locked in an intimate kiss with his leader. The warlord's hands had been tender, one curled around Starscream's waist and the other stroking his helm gently. It was almost like the touch of a mech who held him in his highest affections, the touch of a lover…

_We can actually consider something between us._

A long time ago Starscream would have scoffed at such words, for it was not below Megatron to say anything that might win his second over. However, he had seen too many examples that showed his leader wanting something more. If Megatron had wanted Starscream solely as an interfacing partner, he should have given up the cycle Starscream chewed him out furiously. Either way, the warlord's interest should have worn off as soon as the war started again.

The fact that it didn't spoke of new implications.

Starscream found his spark constricting with an uncharacteristic longing at the possibility that his leader desired him as a lover. When he remembered his rather vehement decision that he would never engage in a relationship, he hesitated for the first time after pondering about his true reason. The Seeker disliked the blatantly sentimental behavior it often brought, but he never really thought about  _why_ this was so.

What did it feel like to be held in the highest regard, to have someone's care and devoted attachment directed at him? What was it like to have a mech willing to give up everything he had, should he ever face this choice, just to be with the Seeker? The logical part of Starscream mocked the sheer irrationality of it all; making decisions while guided by emotions rarely turned out wise.

He shuttered his optics and sighed. In a flash he was back again during that single memorable cycle with his leader's large warm hand wrapped around his, their frames so close that he could hear the faint thrumming of the warlord's spark. Again his optics met with Megatron's, and he had been taken aback by the look of unguarded vulnerability in them. In a sudden instant Megatron had turned from a bitterly determined superior to a desperate mech tormented by his own conflicts.

Part of the reason why Starscream submitted so easily to the other's kiss was because he  _wanted_ to understand what bothered his leader. He wanted the warlord to open himself up the way he never could in words, to elaborate on what he had promised.

_Something between us…_

However, Megatron became withdrawn again right afterwards as if nothing ever happened. Then why did he even bother to make a promise that he probably wouldn't even keep?

Why would Megatron resort to such an unthinkable plan in the first place?

Starscream tossed another datapad aside and went over another one. He reminded himself to stop trying to guess his leader's unfathomable thinking. He would never know why Megatron was acting so distant, but yet strangely desperate at the same time. Starscream had an impossible mission to complete first, then he can worry about Megatron.

* * *

In the end, Starscream came up with a plan with the help of Blitzwing, who had expressed horror at Megatron's idea to use the AllSpark as a weapon but nevertheless helped in brainstorming, and a few other officials. He even messaged Shockwave and spent several cycles inquiring of his health, flattering, and apologizing for the other's unexpected demotion before asking his advice in the subtlest way possible without revealing the idea in whole. However Starscream was not pleased with his final plan. There was a high chance that it might work, with an equal amount of chance that it might fail.

The AllSpark was being kept in Protihex, one of the Autobots' highest-guarded faculty, underneath the ground near the core of Cybertron, which was nigh impossible to infiltrate. They couldn't blow up the entire place without making sure the AllSpark remained unharmed. Neither could they unleash a full assault, for the Decepticons were at a disadvantage on the ground and underneath.

In fact there was only one strategy that had the highest chance of succeeding. The Decepticons were to present a threat with terms that must be fulfilled (in this case, the handing of the AllSpark over) by bombing the Autobot city-states. As the loss of civilian life and structural damage accumulated, the enemy would eventually be forced to give the artifact up.

Starscream knew Megatron would ask him to think of a better alternative if he presented this costly strategy. Although he was the one who led the Decepticons to war, Megatron made it a strict regulation that no civilians were to be harmed if their city-state was taken. He would not take well at a bombing targeted at these civilians, even if it gained him the AllSpark.

Nevertheless, Starscream brought his strategy to his leader, who listened to it with a strange tight-lipped expression on his faceplates. To the Seeker's utmost and horrified surprise, Megatron agreed to it.

"I knew I could trust you to think up something that would work," For some reason Starscream thought the warlord's spark wasn't in his praise, "Yes, I had hoped the mass loss of civilian lives could be prevented. If that was the cost to win us the war, would you not pay it?"

"But this does not concern the citizens of only one city-state—" Starscream tried to argue.

"Starscream, you were the one who planned this strategy and after going through my approval, I expect you to see the end of it. What is the loss of a few thousand civilian lives compared to the continuing perishing of soldiers from both sides?" Megatron was firm.

"But—"

"The war will be won with the taking of the AllSpark. Don't you want to be credited with the ending of the stellar-cycle long Great War? Become a renowned figure in Cybertron's long history? Receive the recognition you have always longed for?"

Now that Megatron mentioned it, Starscream was tempted yet again. Slag him and his rhetorics! The prices to pay now seemed to pale in comparison to the results the Seeker would receive. Fame, recognition and even more respect than Starscream had right now.

 _And also something to consider between us._ Megatron had mentioned earlier. Starscream shook his helm furiously. He would not give up on his ideals for a vague promise appealing to the more emotional part of him.

"I'm not sure whether the strategy will succeed or not. The Autobots might think of something else to counter our attacks and maybe reveal their so-called Project Omega!" Starscream tried to reason one last time.

Megatron was silent for a while as he studied the datapad containing Starscream's strategy in his hand. Eventually he spoke again, his voice clipped and controlled,

"Then make it succeed."

With that, Megatron left the command center, leaving Starscream again feeling confused by his coldness.

* * *

The war will end with the taking of the AllSpark. Starscream's strategy will work. The memories would eventually be overcome in times of peace. He could sort out his strange fascination with his second-in-command.

Megatron could only hope.

It was a hope that was not felt for so long. He knew the war would go on for quite some time before any major turning point would happen. At first when the Decepticons took over the colonies, Megatron had hoped that the conflict would end soon that most of the Autobots' allies were cut off. Instead, they proved strangely resistant for a long time.

All in all, the Great War went on longer than it should.

Megatron had lost his hope that it would end anytime soon as the fighting continued, especially after the Autobots had developed space bridges. But out of the blue came the idea to bring the AllSpark into the war, the hope that the Decepticons would triumph by the power of the supernatural. Megatron clung to it as a lifeline out of this muddle of battles and tension. In reality he longed for the war to end. For the majority of his life was spent on fighting, either in duels or battles. A long-time secret desire of his was to one day settle down peacefully after his goal of reforming the Cybertronian government was completed. There were many things he previously shunned that could be embraced once again after the war was won. Megatron hadn't intended to live with his tormented past for the rest of his life or remain celibate. He had made plans to enter therapy for a few thousand stellar cycles; if everything went well, maybe he would even consider finding a potential bondmate.

Though Megatron was adverse to such efforts during the war, he was not against the concept of sharing his life with another mech. Had he not seen the way his close ones perished brutally, he might have openly looked for a mech to share his personal thoughts and inmost feelings with.

The possibility that he longed for such a bond with Starscream… filled him with dismay as well as a bitter yearning. He believed it may never be come to be, thus rendering anything he felt towards the other useless. The warlord doubted he could ever be open with another mech right now, not to mention his age-old fear of dealing with yet another loss of a close one.

Yet the longing refused to fade no matter how many times Megatron tried to convince himself that it didn't exist. Before he knew it, he began to entertain the idea of having Starscream as a committed partner. The other would probably be a challenging mech to live with daily with his unmovable stubbornness and short patience; Megatron had a suspicion that Starscream would be having his way more often that he.

Then there were the qualities that captured his attention so quickly, a daringness to try the impossible and a determination to fulfill his goals. Both were qualities encouraged in every senior officer, so Megatron was left at a loss once again to describe what exactly had drawn him to Starscream other than his appealing frame. Was it the times when he bantered with the witty mech? The way the Seeker had reacted as soon as he realized that he had to distance himself from Megatron? Starscream's decision to protect his leader at the risk of losing Altihex? His immediate visit to check on Megatron's wounds afterwards?

He longer knew anymore.

He imagined his second leaning over him, the smaller mech's fingertips gently stroking his faceplates as he assured him that everything would work out in the end. The warlord could almost feel Starscream's lips pressing against his left cheek; trailing light kisses down until they met Megatron's. The lip lock would be tender with nothing more than simple affection, just like the one they shared solar cycles ago—

No! The AllSpark had to be obtained first! Anything else comes afterwards.

But Megatron wanted… so much that the desire had begun to eat away at his spark, wanted a deeper bond with his second. Almost as much as he wanted the war to end, almost as much he needed to sort himself out first. He almost wanted to disregard the risk of his memories surfacing and weakening him just to have a chance with his second, to gain a supporter instead of a hindrance.

Still, it would be best to wait, for Starscream hopefully wouldn't be going anywhere during the war. Megatron must temporarily place his anxieties aside and focus on the AllSpark for now. After the war is won, he could deal with them more easily than in the middle of one. If not—

What was he thinking?!

Concentrate on the AllSpark, the artifact which would save the Decepticons from the war. At first it was the desire to triumph that drove them on. Now the war was only a matter of survival, and the odds were not on their side.

The AllSpark will save them all.

It was no longer a considering idea that gave the slightest bit of hope, but a desperate last resort that offered the faintest chance of victory. Megatron couldn't bear to even think what would happen if Starscream's plan failed and the Decepticons lost the war. Eventually they would be overrun by the Autobots and wiped out by their superior weaponry.

It wasn't just about Megatron's desires and his second-in-command. It concerned the entire faction. The Decepticons were more than a group of fierce warriors; they were also a society by itself like the Autobots, with the same concept of families, friends and more. If Megatron caused the war to be lost, he would be dooming this entire society. In addition to providing the faction with unimaginable power, the AllSpark would enable the Decepticons to procreate again. The last time a new Decepticon was sparked was approximately two million stellar cycles ago; Megatron needed the artifact if he didn't want his faction to die out.

The AllSpark must be taken, and the war won at all costs.

Later that solar cycle Megatron made his announcement. He wasn't surprised at the sudden torrent of horror and outrage from the Decepticons at base and the mass in-pouring of messages from the ones based in other city-states. Megatron simply presented his argument he previously did before Starscream, and soon all of them were clamoring for the AllSpark. The warlord was relieved at the majority support of his plan, for almost every Decepticon agreed that they needed the artifact to turn the tides of war. However, Starscream remained disapproving along with a doubtful Hook.

"You are not the first mech to plan this, Lord Megatron. I shall not remind you who it was, but your knowledge on the usage of the AllSpark does not exceed the other's."

Megatron had winced inwardly. He didn't need a second reminder.

"Then I will learn how to bend it to my will. Unlike the mech who tried before me, I have valid cause to borrow its power."

In the end Hook finally conceded, though not before leaving Megatron a warning to be careful in dabbling with the unknown powers.

Now that the warlord remembered this, a little part of him faltered. There was some truth in Starscream's words about the AllSpark being a sentient object. If the AllSpark denied him access, there was a high chance that he would be driven insane as a punishment for even daring to think about using it as a weapon. With his sanity gone, the Decepticons would either be torn apart by infighting once again and lose the war. It was a great risk for Megatron to take; he would be lying if he said that he wasn't the least bit fearful.

Megatron didn't know why it rejected the first mech who had attempted to, and yet accepted several others that tried to communicate with it. In fact, that mech was probably the only recorded case of AllSpark rejection. There was a high chance that he might accomplish his intentions…

Still…

First things first. The artifact must be obtained before he attempted to use its powers. Megatron was ready to sacrifice all he had to ensure this final gambit would succeed.


	17. Infuriation

The Autobots were having a rather peaceful solar cycle, for there had been no Decepticon attacks for quite awhile. Civilians tried to put the ongoing war aside as they went about their daily businesses in various city-states like Tarn, Praxus and Iacon. Autobot defense troops patrolled the boundaries, keeping a keen optic on any Decepticon invasion that might happen. They didn't, because the enemy chose not to engage directly.

Suddenly a group of fliers came slicing through the air over the Autobot city-states, their engines loud and harsh in the tense atmosphere. But the Decepticons were not concerned about stealth, for their targets were the city-states themselves.

Each aircraft released a combination of missiles and bombs to fall upon the city-states. The impact was ground-shattering, with buildings reduced to rubble in a matter of cycles and the sound of explosions filling the once uneasy peace. There were screams as the civilians scattered to find underground shelter while most stood frozen in utter shock. Already there were fires starting to spread among the structures weren't already destroyed in the first wave of bombs. Some Autobots defenders hurried to put them out while others went to man the cannons to fire at the flying Decepticons. However by the time they had them ready, the attackers were gone, only leaving a devastated and ruined city-state behind.

* * *

Megatron studied the smoking ruins of Tarn grimly as he flew over it in his alt-mode. The fires that consumed most of the buildings had died down to an orange glow that bathed alight the entire city. The air was utterly still, so that the gray plumes of smoke from the burnt out husks of demolished structures arose vertically towards the skies.

The bombing raid had been extremely successful although Iacon remained largely unharmed. The warlord had to pull a few officers from their current stations, Starscream included, to muster enough Decepticons to carry it out, leaving the two most valuable city-states vulnerable. But it didn't matter. He wouldn't need them if the Autobots agreed to his terms.

He suddenly felt the impulse to transform and land among the remains of a building, rubble and blackened supporting beams cracking sharply under his weight. Inhaling deeply as he took in the full extent of the destruction, Megatron could literally taste the panic and alarm that had once filled this now abandoned area along with the sharp metallic scent of burnt metal. For a while he simply made his way through the ruins, often seeing the charred offlined frames of civilians who had failed to find shelter in time.

When had Megatron first called the Decepticons to arms? That event seemed so long ago, the decision he had made to begin a war because of the Decepticon Registration Act forcing all Decepticons to give up their property and live under Autobot jurisdiction. It had been the peak of the corruption that had eroded at Cybertron for far too long. Megatron would have rather offlined himself than to allow his faction to be ruled over by their unscrupulous government. He had vowed that he would put an end to their injustice and establish a new better system in replacement. He will strike down all those who stood in his way, namely the Autobots.

These civilians were merely victims.

As were the Decepticons under  _his_  leadership. It was only because of hisintervention that they were able to be freed from under  _his_  cruel leadership.

The desolated ruins suddenly faded away, and in a nanoklick the warlord's vision changed to see something entirely different.

_He stood before a heavily-armed mech at least a helm taller than he. His armor was colored the same slate gray and dark crimson as his own, although it was accented with a few shades of purple in some areas. It was strange if he really thought about it, for few Cybertronians were sparked with the same color of an offlined mech. Perhaps it symbolized his reputation as a death bringer in battle_

_The mech's visage cannot be seen; a muzzle-like battle mask covered his faceplates. But even with the concealment his blood-red optics seemed to bore through him in their intense look of hate._

_Then the taller mech drew a huge double-bladed sword sheathed behind his back and lunged at Megatron. In turn he whipped out his twin blades to intercept the other's attack, causing their weapons to clash together in a cacophony of rasping metal and a small shower of sparks…_

He shook himself out of the memory with considerable effort, finding himself gripping the handle of his sheathed blade tightly and gritting his dentas in exertion. It had been stellar cycles since he last crossed swords with his predecessor, and for some reason seeing the remains of Tarn reminded him of their duel to the death for the Decepticon leadership. Megatron had barely survived the ordeal, but had never regretted his decision to take up the challenge. If he hadn't, the faction would have fallen apart as that accursed mech continued to indulge in his insane cruelty.

They were all victims in some way, whether they were at war or not. The civilians, the Decepticons and even the Autobots to some degree, although they still refused to admit it.

Megatron sighed as he came to a small clearing where the remains of a housing unit once stood. There lying among the wreckage were the barely-recognizable forms of a mech and a small sparkling under his outstretched arm. It seemed like the mech had tried to shield his smaller charge when a bomb hit.

The warlord hadn't willingly put Starscream's plan into action when he realized it involved civilians and the unspoken code of honor that they were not to be touched during the war, especially after his second had pleaded to him to make sure that Vos was spared in the ensuing firestorm. It wasn't just because the bombing raid might completely destroy Starscream's home and offline the family he left behind.

These mostly-neutral Cybertronians only sought to live a normal life in the middle of war and were content to be left alone. To kill them like this while demanding for a ransom was one of the most desperate measures. It seemed ironic that the life-giving AllSpark was bought by the lives of millions of civilians, which would also in turn used to end the lives of more.

He had hoped to leave the civilians out of this. When Megatron studied the sparkling's lifeless offline optics, he began to wonder how many others had their lives taken away so suddenly in the bombing assaults. Perhaps there was a mech returning eagerly home from work to his family, a group of friends on a gladly anticipated day-out, or this mech and his sparkling enjoying a quiet evening when the world ended for them by a slew of missiles…

Megatron gritted his dentas and turned away for a brief cycle. He was beginning to understand how much of a toll the war was taking on everyone. Now that even the civilians suffered from the conflict, it was evident that it had to end soon in the favor of the Decepticons. It had to end soon, before the war destroyed Cybertron itself. Civilians would continue to die until the AllSpark was handed over to them, although there was not much Megatron could do at the moment to hurry up the Autobots.

But he could so something now. Seized with a sudden epiphany, Megatron bent and gently maneuvered the sparkling's frame until it rested against its sire's chassis. Then he moved the mech's arms to cover the little one in a snug embrace.

"I'm sorry," The warlord said quietly, "Your sacrifices will be remembered and honored when the war is won."

He transformed and took to the skies, unwilling to tread among the carnages of war any longer. Instead Megatron tried to take his mind off the matter by recalling how the Autobots had unexpectedly taken the initiative. He was sure that the Autobots would agree to a ransom, since so far they could do little to stop the fire-bombing Decepticons by force. When Ultra Magnus finally sent a message asking for the cessation of hostilities against civilians, he had sounded more distressed than he had ever been during the war. Megatron was all too glad to make another speech through a broadcasted audio file.

"Greetings, Autobots. This is the supreme leader of the Decepticons, Megatron, speaking here. I bring to you a grim message this solar cycle, which I advise you to consider carefully.

"The Great War has been going on for millions of stellar cycles with neither side triumphing over the other. As of today, the situation remains the same. However I must tell you that victory will eventually belong to the Decepticons. We will tear down each and every of your defenses and destroy your last will to fight. How much longer must you resist us and remain blind to your government's many corruptions?

"We will start to assault the city-states with civilian targets in mind. Will you continue to resist as the loss of lives continue to rise? Think carefully, for your next major decision will decide the course of the war.

"I have only but one term which you must follow if the assaults are to cease. If you hope to save your civilians, you must offer adequate ransom that both sides will agree on. You have one solar cycle to decide."

It hadn't been one of Megatron's best speeches, for he thought he sounded way more threatening than he intended. But he was very careful on not letting desperation leak into his words. The fact that the Decepticons had resorted to attacking the civilians for ransom ran the risk of informing the Autobots of their faltering chance in winning the war. Straight out demanding the AllSpark would be a surefire way of doing so.

Ultra Magnus replied a while later, "We offer supplies and energon for your army."

"That is hardly enough to convince me alone, let alone the Decepticons."

And so Ultra Magnus proceeded to offer a stellar cycle long ceasefire, several city-states, credits, prisoners of war and even the schematics of an advanced electrical systems disruption cannon. Several of these options sounded tempting, though he and his advisors eventually decided that they were useless in the long run. Their ultimate goal was still the AllSpark, and that was the only ransom they would accept bought by the lives of many.

"I am beginning to think that you already have a ransom in mind, Megatron," Ultra Magnus sounded tired and exasperated after his offers were rejected numerous times, "I have listed all of the prices we are able to pay. By all means, please list your terms and I shall see if we are able to meet them."

This was it. Megatron steeled himself to demand the object that would turn the tides of war for sure.

"The life-giving artifact known as the AllSpark will be acceptable. Do not attempt to question our intentions for it, for they are none of your concern."

There was a long silence on Ultra Magnus' side, but eventually he replied, "The AllSpark is an artifact of Cybertron, not of the Autobots. It is not ours to give as we see fit."

"Which do you choose then? The loss of a million more innocent lives or the simple action of handing over the AllSpark?" Megatron was prepared for a negative answer, "I tell you the truth; we will continue the bombing assaults until you give us an answer. The longer you take to decide, the more Cybertronians will offline. Make your decision wisely, for the lives of millions are at stake. Good day to you, and may you decide what is best for Cybertron and its citizens."

"Very well. I will deliberate this matter with my council and give you my answer as soon as possible." The Autobot commander said heavily.

True to his word, Ultra Magnus sprang into action immediately. From the amount of communications flying back and forth from Iacon and Protihex, the Autobots were definitely frantic as the bombing continued.

Megatron was so close to succeeding, so close that he was already picturing the things he would do right after the war ended. First he would call all the Decepticons back to Cybertron for a massive celebration. Then after the festivities had ended, he would graciously allow the Autobots to keep their places, and even appoint Ultra Magnus as one of the officials in the new government. Apart from the other's decision to enact the Decepticon Registration Act, the Autobot commander was a respectable leader who remained unaffected by the corrupt council.

The warlord allowed his mind to drift over the many other actions he had to take. He must set a system of guards to prevent any violent attempts of protest… probably sent out a message to all scattered Cybertronians that the war was over and asking for them to return… definitely build a memorial to all the civilians who died… finally put the Three Point Plan, his still ongoing draft of the extensive system that will form the new government, into action… and… starting a proper courtship with his second-in-command, unhindered by the dangers of battle or by his own issues.

That indefinite sense of longing welled up in him more strongly than ever, nearly overwhelming the joy of seeing a new Golden Age for Cybertron. For once, Megatron allowed a cycle of honesty with himself. He would give almost anything to have an orbital cycle free of his heavy responsibilities. There would be no more pretending, no more lying to himself, no more trying his best to put on a brave front for his followers, and no more of this crippling fear to open himself to another mech.

That was quite a lot to look forward to. In fact it was so much that he almost placed his misgivings over the loss of civilian life at the back of his mind.

Megatron increased his efforts in the bombings, often leading them himself as they devastated city-state after city-state. Surely the Autobots would yield anytime, with the deactivated frames of civilians piling up each solar cycle. He waited almost desperately for their replying message.

But Megatron received reports on the solar cycle when the Autobots were to make their decision from Blackout and Straxus about a skirmish at Praxus, in which they successfully defeated a battalion of Autobots who had unexpectedly turned up to defend the city-state fiercely. The defense had been a ruse; the two reported that a strange orange casket with handles was carried by another group of Autobots and snuck off to a nearby space bridge. Immediately realizing the enemy's true intentions, the iconic container of the AllSpark and the powerful energy signature of the artifact, they directed their attentions towards this group quickly. Though these Autobots were offlined, one sole mech had managed to activate the bridge with random coordinates and toss the casket through before activating a bomb that destroyed both him and the space bridge.

At this Megatron felt the first signs of doubt grip his spark. He desperately prayed that it wasn't true, that it had been a decoy planned to fool the Decepticons into giving up. But everything was made clear when Ultra Magnus sent his long-awaited reply. His message was broadcasted during an S Team meeting, and every Decepticon immediately fell silent as the Autobot commander spoke,

"The AllSpark is the source of life from which we come from. We do not know what you plan to do with it, Megatron, but one can presume it does not bode well for us. Continue your bombing then, for the AllSpark is now beyond your grasp, tossed through a space bridge set with random coordinates. It is lost in space, and we deem this the best action to carry out. No artifact of Cybertron must be brought into the war, so let it be hidden from both sides so we may have equal grounds."

It was like the world around Megatron had gone silent, the clamoring of the officers around him faded to nothing. His processor refused to work for a few cycles, refusing to believe that this was true, refusing to know that his last hope had been dashed to the ground, that they now had little chance of victory.

_The Autobots... the AllSpark... space bridge... gone..._

These terms kept coursing through Megatron's mind. It can't be true. Not even the Autobots would dare to toss the fount of all Cybertronian life into uncharted space. They were going to doom the entire race by doing so, for only through the AllSpark was new life created.

_Beyond your grasp... tossed through a space bridge set with random coordinates... lost in space..._

Was it only a bluff? But the Autobots' declaration matched with Megatron's officers' description on what they had seen. Cycles later a scout team returned from their mission of infiltrating the Protihex underground facilities to report that the Well was empty.

Then the bombing was truly in vain. The enemy will continue to have advantages over the Decepticons and prolong the Great War. The chance of victory was low. Megatron would have to continue to lead his faction in battles. He would have to continue to distance himself from his second...

Then suddenly crystal clear realization of the impact of the situation hit the warlord. He had already lost the war and led the Decepticons to nothing. All of his desires and wishes he had of post-war Cybertron vanished. Starscream's plan hadn't worked. Millions of innocent civilians had died for nothing.

For a brief cycle Megatron saw that offlined mech and the sparkling he died trying to protect. He, and so many others, would only be remembered as the victims of the Decepticons' desperate attempt to win the war. Lives were lost, and now they would not be replaced. The Decepticons will always be known as the sparkless murderers who were willing to sacrifice any life for their own gains.

The AllSpark was gone.

Millions died in vain.

The Decepticons had little hope of victory.

There was nothing else that would work.

Megatron suddenly found it difficult to think straight as the full impact of the situation registered to his mind. He couldn't allow the war to be lost now. He had to do something… to find the AllSpark… to make sure that he hadn't made the grave mistake in allowing so many to perish… he must… he must…

As his thoughts unraveled, Megatron suddenly found himself staring once again at a scene from out of his flashbacks like he had done back in Tarn, thrust abruptly into his own recollections. The outside world became nothing more than a fleeting memory as he was forced to watch and listen.

" _Kill him."_

_Two simple words that so disastrously ended a reasonably tolerable solar cycle, that changed him in ways he never fully understood._

" _Jhiaxus is but another officer who has outlived his worth. Offline him discreetly and dispose his frame in the smelting pool. Let this be a warning to the others that my authority is absolute… and you are the blade that silences at my command."_

That paralyzing shock he experienced long ago became entangled with the present, so much that Megatron no longer knew which was which. But he could do nothing to stop it; even shuttering his optics did not shut out the voices and images that coursed through his mind.

" _No!" Not the mentor who had done nothing but offer the only semblance of kindness he knew in his life, who had tended to his wounds after his brutal training sessions, who fondly instructed him in computer science in his spare time and taught him everything there is besides combat skills. This must be a mistake!_

" _None of your reluctance and of your uncalled sentiments, Megatron. Complete your assignment within the megacycle." The promise of a consequence of failure was hinted at. For the first time, he no longer cared._

_No… no… what had he done wrong this time? Why? Why Jhiaxus? WHY?!_

Megatron flinched at the sudden piercing despair that cut through him like a cold sharpened blade. He tried to stop, to force back the unwelcome voice that never spoke a truthful word. What was left of his reasonable side fiercely argued that losing the AllSpark hardly merited such a reaction. But to his utter horror, he had lost control over even his own emotions.

Upon realizing this, the warlord threw himself into the strenuous attempt to regain himself, for he now recognized the symptoms of a long-forgotten affliction that hadn't bothered him for stellar cycles. The confusion of the past with the present and the out-of-control emotions all warned him clearly of the disastrous results last time it happened.

By now the officers around him had broken into disorganized discussions; few of them noticed the Megatron had stiffened in his seat with an agonized expression on his faceplates. Those who did merely assumed that this was their leader's customary way of reacting to ill news, and that he would soon recover.

All except Hook. He shot Oil Slick a panicked look and exchanged a few hurried words with the chemist beside him. Then the other mech quickly produced a medium-sized steel syringe from his subspace.

Megatron saw none of this. He had managed to quell his turmoiled mind for now, so that he stopped seeing what he should have forgotten. Just as he was about to heave a sigh of relief, Straxus addressed him directly out of the murmuring voices,

"So what course of action should we take, Lord Megatron? With the AllSpark gone, we have no means of gaining a quick victory over the Autobots. Are you prepared to make long-term plans now that the war may go on longer?"

It was a wisely asked inquiry that addressed the immediate problem directly. Megatron should have started thinking as soon as he received the news that the AllSpark was lost. However, he had been struggling to contain his composure instead. Why did he suddenly lose control previously at some bad news? It was no different when his officers reported the loss of a city-state or an entire regiment.

Except… it was.

With a rushing sound in his audios, Megatron was plunged helmfirst inside another renewed wave of emotions that seemly did not belong to him along with more disembodied voices.

" _Run, Jhiaxus. You know I can't obey Megazarak this time. I can never lift my sword against you."_

" _No… I would not have his wrath fall upon you because you have defied his orders…"_

He once again tried to fight it off. But he can no longer pretend that he did not understand what the voices were saying, his own desperate urgings to the doomed mech to flee and the heavy sorrow that weighed his spark down when he realized that it wasn't possible, that his mentor's hopes of escaping to Praxus with him to start a new life was crushed to powder. It made no difference, for Megazarak would have tracked any mechs who have fled his faction and offline them himself in the most painful way possible.

" _Do it. Don't hesitate."_

_Because he knew Jhiaxus would suffer a thousand times worse under Megazarak. He should have planned better, made better preparations. Then his mentor wouldn't have been caught._

" _I will continue to watch over you throughout your life, little protector. Till all are one."_

Absolute grief seized him and held him immobile, though it shouldn't have been the reaction to such a loss. The AllSpark… the AllSpark had nothing to do… with Jhiaxus' eventual death… under his own hands… in the end he had wielded his sword, which had never felt so heavy as it did back then, to deliver the quick final blow. It shouldn't have been so easy, to particularly feel a mech's armor part under the razor edge. His mentor shouldn't have offlined so easily just like any other nameless mech he killed…

A choked sound left Megatron's vocalizer as he was overwhelmed by another renewed wave of anguish. However, since he now knew what happened next, something else seemed to simmer into existence, growing in potency as he saw himself gripping his now energon-stained sword and looking down onto a grayed-out frame slumped onto the ground.

The bright glint of crimson optics flashed in a distance. It lasted just long enough for Megatron to see the hint of a satisfied smile behind the muzzled battle mask.

The warlord literally felt the snap, that single frozen nanoklik when all forms of despair vanished and gave way to a dark burning rage that consumed his entire being. He no longer could tell if it was directed at the Autobots for doing such an unthinkable thing, for prolonging the war. Or was it anger at himself for daring to hope that something like this would succeed or how he had given up, allowing his mentor to die so easily? Or was it frustration that the plan his second had devised didn't work after all, even after Megatron had done his best to convince Starscream that this course of action would save them all?

His vision narrowed down until he saw nothing else but the tall mech before him. Then he was rushing forward, his sword raised to cut into the other, wanting for the first time to purposefully  _hurt_ and  _maim_ and  _kill…_

Megatron howled and lashed out blindly at everything, anything that was within reach in the tormented recesses of his mind. He had to make it stop… make it stop… MAKE IT STOP! This had nothing to do with the present. Nothing to do at all with the loss of the AllSpark. Nothing at all! Just like it had been his fault that got Jhiaxus killed and the lives of anyone who showed kindness to him terminated. It was his fault. It was all his fault. It was all his fault  _that he lost the war…_

_That he had hoped too much…_

_Wanted to be free too soon…_

_Watched helplessly as mechs died around him…_

_Expected something more with Starscream, yet knew it will never be…_

_Caused so many…_

_Wanted to…_

_Desired…_

Then nothing. The blessed relief of unconsciousness reared up to pull Megatron under, and he remembered nothing more as he succumbed to it.

* * *

Starscream was still fuming when he finally flew back to Trypticon. He, like all the other Decepticons, received the Autobots' message and had expressed the same unbelievable shock at it. The Seeker hadn't expected his plan to work, but it still came as a shock that the Autobots actually threw the AllSpark into the unknowns of space. By Primus, it seems like even sacred artifacts could not escape the defilement of war.

He could not help but feel acute disappointment at this. Now the war will continue on to who knows when without a major turning point. Who knows what the Autobots might do next if they even dared to send the AllSpark into uncharted space? Besides, how would Megatron react to the news? He probably had to face his leader and explain the flaws he might have overlooked in his plan.

The Seeker grimaced a little. The warlord's coldness may make this more difficult than it should be. But the cycle when he caught a glimpse of the other's vulnerability came back to him. Now that Starscream thought of it, he realized that Megatron probably put more hope into obtaining the AllSpark than he did.

This won't be good, Starscream decided.

He heard shouting coming down from the command center and paused. What was going on now? Starscream now changed his course to head for the large doors, only to meet a large huddle of all the officers gathered outside staring at it. For some reason all of them bore wounds, some slashes still dripping purple energon and scorch marks. Starscream was even more puzzled. Did he miss a skirmish?

"What is going on here?" He asked loudly.

Most of them jumped, but relaxed somewhat when they saw it was the second-in-command.

"Megatron—" Oil Slick began, but Skystalker cut him off.

"Just don't go in there right now, I'm serious. Just wait for Hook to give the all clear sign… actually I'm not sure what we're all waiting here for. We should be leaving right now. Yes, we all should be leaving…" He said quickly.

Starscream's frown grew deeper. What all clear sign from Hook and about not going in? What was even happening inside the command center, where loud bangs, crashes and furious yelling could be heard?

He headed for the doors, only to be pulled back by a jittery Skystalker. But Starscream had already heard that enraged shouts of an all-too-familiar voice.

"Frag this all to the Pits! Where is that incompetent fool of a Seeker?! I will make him suffer for daring to fail me in such a crucial moment—"

"No no no no no don't go in there. You can't do anything. None of us could do anything when he suddenly just leapt out of his seat and started hacking left and right. He can't tell who's friend or foe anymore and personally I have never seen anyone losing it like this. Just don't go in there. Hook's trying to sedate him." Skystalker gibbered frantically.

Megatron? Lost it? It sounded ridiculous and unlikely to the Seeker, except that he could see the truth in the wounds of the officers around him, in Strika's grimmer-than-usual expression and in Skystalker's uncharacteristic panic. But still, it can't be. Megatron was the least likely mech to lose it, not from the way he so resolutely stood firm when the Decepticons were at the edge of defeat during a battle and even when his own life was in danger. It was true that his moods sometimes became unpredictable, but never did they spin out of control.

Throwing off Skystalker's grip, he pressed a key on the access panel and strode in to the collected officials' protest. Starscream had to see this for himself. It was impossible. Megatron always stayed calm even when he was pinned under tons of solid steel and about to lose a battle—

All doubts vanished when Starscream took in the sight before him. The command center was in ruins, with scorch marks littering the walls and consoles smashed in until they were only piles of scrap. However, the Seeker's attention was drawn to Megatron, who had his swords in both hands and a wild uncontrolled look in his optics. His lips had been drawn back in a feral snarl, his faceplates distorted with rage beyond recognition. Before him crouched a determined Hook with a syringe-resembling device in his hand.

Starscream had no time for any thoughts or reactions, for Megatron lunged forward immediately upon seeing the Seeker. Before he knew it, he was slammed so hard into a wall that his vision went white as pain blasted through his frame. Then Megatron's grip was around Starscream's neck, squeezing tight until he gasped for air.

"About time you show up, you worthless second-in-command. Your punishment is overdue, and I will ensure that you will never fail me again. The AllSpark was lost because of you. Your fault that the war now goes on longer than it should. IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Starscream couldn't even comprehend the accusing words as he tried futilely to remove his leader's iron grip. He vaguely recalled Hook attempting to jab the sedative in from behind, but Megatron simply backhanded him away.

The grip grew tighter and Starscream started to choke. He kicked at the larger mech which did nothing either. He was faintly aware of Megatron shouting at him some more as he clawed for air. He was going to lose conscious. He was going to off—

"Stop Megatron! That's the second-in-command he's throttling!" A voice cried out. It was followed by a chorus of others.

"No no no no no! I  _told_ him not to come in!"

"Do something now, Lugnut! He is  _not_ your beloved leader in any way!"

"Lord Megatron, forgive me for my intervention!" A loud bellowing suddenly cut through the haze of a fading consciousness. There was an extremely loud clang, and Starscream was free. He collapsed to the ground, gasping for a few cycles before looking at what had caused the larger mech to lose his grip.

Lugnut had replaced Megatron's place, his large mace held in one pincer. The warlord lay prostrate on the other side of the command center, now unconscious and unmoving.

Hook was upon him immediately, injecting the sedative into a major energon line. The officers had all poured into the room now, speaking hurriedly among themselves. But Starscream was still frozen in shock as he stared at the unmoving form of Megatron, who had just a cycle ago tried to choke him offline. He can't be the same mech who at first tried to court him and remained so patient with him, yet was haunted by a disturbed past that manifested itself whenever he let down his guard…

Megatron's crimson optics suddenly flickered online, causing everyone, even Hook, to back a few steps away. But he only raised an arm weakly.

Towards the Seeker.

Despite himself, he took a few steps forward until he stood only a few feet away from his leader. Up close, he saw that the wild look in his optics were gone, now replaced by utter despair.

"Starscream, I…" He whispered.

The Seeker was struck to the spark on how sad and regretful Megatron looked, a complete opposite of everything he was. His leader now no longer displayed his pride and regal bearing so long ago. Instead, he looked as if he had lost everything he had ever believed in, and had given up fully on ever hoping once again.

Then Megatron's optics blinked out, and the dull thud of his limp frame collapsing on the ground only served to make the situation even more unreal.


	18. Indisposition

Amazingly Megatron was back up and working the next solar cycle at his usual place. The command center was also in process of being repaired. In fact the place was almost back to its former look, though the consoles would take time to fix.

But things were not all back to normal. The recent news was a severe blow to the Decepticons. Everyone went back to their usual tasks, now certain that the Great War would definitely continue on for stellar cycles. For a long time there were no jests, laughter and casual moments. Each mech's nerves were highly strung.

In addition, everyone became extremely cautious around Megatron, never speaking much to him and giving reports in the briefest manner. It was already fortunate that so far only the higher officers had witnessed his explosive anger fit; if the entire faction knew of it, there would be no end to the dismay and loss of morale in a vital turning point of the war. However, it was clear that Strika, Straxus and a few others were not impressed with Megatron's behavior. There were already whispers of fear and disapproval about allowing a mentally unsound mech to lead the Decepticons and of history repeating itself.

Starscream heard those rumors. Instead of feeling upset about how mechs were supposedly slandering the fair and diligent leader he knew, the Seeker had no desire to defend the other.

Each time when he saw Megatron, he always proceeded in the opposite direction. The Seeker couldn't help it; the events that happened last solar cycle were too vivid.

He could never forget how his leader's hands, which had been so gentle as they stroked his faceplates, had nearly cut off his air supply as they tightened mercilessly around his neck. How his arms, which had held him in a close embrace, struck him into the wall.

How could Starscream look at his leader the way he once did again?

In a way as he recalled what happened, he was horrified by the warlord's behavior. Starscream had never seen a mech lose control like Megatron did, not even under stress. How did he become attracted to such an unstable mech, who was worse than Blitzwing when he was in his hotheaded mood?

Was all that courting, the eventual positive impression Starscream was developing of his leader and the times they saved each other in battle in vain? That indefinite longing for another to hold the Seeker in the highest regard now seemed a silly infatuated desire. Starscream berated himself for ever allowing such a thought into existence so soon. Why did he jump to conclusions so hastily when he barely knew his leader?

Yet he knew there was no way he could ever put his complete trust in such a volatile mech. What had he gotten himself into? Here he was as the second-in-command of all Decepticons and Megatron's closest advisor, a position that seemed to bring him more distress than benefits. How could Starscream have been so blind as to allow himself to be drawn close to his leader like this?

In a flash, the Seeker was thrust back during the time after he nearly lost his life in the tunnels of Kalis and how he made the decision to cut off all ties with Megatron. He had been determined to do it too, until the warlord confronted him the very night he was promoted.

Megatron… apologetic, sincere, determined, earnest, but ultimately an enigma. Starscream knew nothing about his past, his issues and his motivations; he could only guesswork from the times he let down his guard. Starscream shouldn't have been overly surprised that his leader kept a few hidden secrets, including a fragile mentality.

But nevertheless, the Seeker felt cut to the spark and betrayed. Every meaningful and casual conversation they shared, every rare opportunity of honesty with each other… all hid the possibility of his leader losing control of himself and becoming a deranged maniac. Common sense told Starscream that he should be running away already. He shouldn't have allowed whatever bond that had developed between he and Megatron to affect him so much. It was useless. The Seeker was not strong enough to handle whatever extreme mental disorder his leader had, or try to live with it in an attempt to change him.

Part of Starscream refused to accept that the hundreds of stellar cycles of interacting with Megatron had been cruelly ended like this. He didn't do anything to bring this upon him. In fact, he shouldn't have gotten himself into this mess the first place. After experiencing his leader's determined pursuit, a jealous Shockwave, the almost-failed Kalis operation, Steelstreak's ill-fated attack and Megatron's distancing, Starscream should have known that nothing will ever go smoothly with the warlord.

Yet he could not bring himself to regret every cycle he spent with Megatron. Why then? Why was he not fleeing as soon as the other collapsed? What was this _hurt_  that eroded away at him so painfully?

Thus Starscream suffered, and Megatron suffered also. The warlord was cursing himself again and again that in his abnormal state of mind he had dared to hurt Starscream, the one thing he had promised that will never happen. He had caused his subordinates to lose their faith and respect for him. Every time Megatron had the rare chance to catch another mech's optics, they held apprehension and most of all, an uneasy fear, in them.

The same look the Decepticons once reserved for Megazarak. Now it was his.

All because he had hoped too much. He had asked too much from the AllSpark and the ending of the war. When he was thwarted by the Autobots, he finally lost control of himself after the full impact of the situation hit him.

He had hoped to stay strong for the duration of the war, but instead he had become weak.

Megatron wanted so desperately to apologize to Starscream, to tell him that he never meant to harm him. But Starscream seemed determined to stay away. Whenever he saw the Seeker, he always headed the other direction, although not fast enough for Megatron to miss the hurt on his faceplates.

How could Starscream ever forgive him for what he had done? Everything Megatron had done trying to get close to his second was now in vain. He would never look at the warlord the same again.

Megatron wanted to lash out at something and scream his frustration. He couldn't believe it. Everything he did was now ruined. The Decepticons had little chance of victory. Starscream had little chance of approaching him.

To make things worse, Megatron was starting to recall more often than before whenever he had spare time, especially when he tried to recharge. Again he saw the lifeless optics of his mentor's decapitated helm, the mutilated frames of the younglings at a shelter and their old caretaker, the maniacal grin of that accursed mech, and the others who lost their lives to that malevolent pursuer who had once stalked him in Kaon. Most nights were spent lying awake now, for to slip into unconsciousness meant relieving a new set of terrors.

Megatron knew that it reflected on the outside; in addition to the wary glances his officers gave him, he often saw Hook's look of disapproval along with unhidden pity. When he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the blackened console screen after he shut it down, he couldn't believe that it was himself he saw. The warlord hadn't changed at all in appearance, but the haggard expression was his own, as well as the anguished look in his optics.

_You've always been very expressive, Megs. If I concentrate hard enough, I can probably guess what mood you're in right now. Your optics hide nothing at all!_

_No, you shouldn't try to read me. It's better for me… and for you… to not know what goes on inside my mind. You are much too young._

Megatron shuttered his optics and onlined them again. The look had somewhat subsided, giving way to bleak emptiness that revealed nothing. It was something that he had mastered as stellar cycles went by, though the warlord still often let slip whenever he lost his concentration. It was fortunate that Starscream had never caught on reading other mechs perceptively, or he would have noticed during the night Megatron made him as second, as he tried to explain his motivations after the siege of Altihex, as he reasoned with the Seeker about obtaining the AllSpark…

_I do hope you know what you are getting yourself into when you claim my leadership, Megatron. You are not fit for this position, not when you still empathize over every life lost over you. Could you have done something to stop it? No. If you still have any amount of self-respect left in you, leave now and I will forget this exchange ever happened in the first place._

Megatron heard their voices every solar cycle now, the youngling's simple observations and his predecessor's cold unforgiving words echoing in his mind even though he never turned his thoughts upon them. What had been silent for thousands of stellar cycles during the time he distanced himself completely from his past were resurfacing openly.

Why him? Why was he the one who had to lose control after believing that he had left his past behind? Why was he the one who had to overthrow his predecessor, the one who had to endure so many stellar cycles of fearful solitude and carry an entire faction upon his shoulders? Why could he not react like any other normal mech to sudden despairing news, or make a concrete decision on the nature of his connection to Starscream for the matter?

_Because you have always thought too much. By some twist of nature, you have always denied the path I set out before you. The Decepticons have always been a race of warriors and fighters. If you do not learn how to deny your emotions instead, you will not live to see the dawn of another solar cycle._

_Shut up!_ Megatron snarled at the other.

_Very well. However, my silence will not change the truth you refuse to acknowledge._

The warlord shuttered his optics again and opened them to stare blankly at his reflection. As usual, the voice had come from inside his mind, not from the actual mech. Though he knew these voices to be from his own imagination, they sounded so real, replying to his words in the exact same nuances as he remembered them. His only comfort was that none of them ever had anything to say about his second.

 _Hey, don't keep your thoughts buried like that. Talk about it freely if it helps you to feel better._ The youngling never failed to be both innocent and sharply perceptive at the same time.

 _Turn your every emotion, your every thought, your every motivation and your every will into a weapon at your disposal. That is the_ only  _reason you should ever give in._ Megazarak, always ready with a deceptively spoken piece of advice that always hit home, though the warlord knew it to be misguided and untrue.

No… none of the voices and their spoken words applied to his current situation or helped him to face it. This had nothing to do with all the lives he left behind him. There was only the reality… of him not being strong enough for his faction, that he had ruined his second's growing trust in a cycle of weakness.

The warlord knew he couldn't afford to lose himself in those recollections. He couldn't allow them to influence him now. Both owners of the voices had left Megatron's life thousands of stellar cycles ago, one offlined and the other wandering the vast universe aimlessly. He had no cause to let his mind linger on their memories for so long.

He tried to bury himself in work and in planning another future for the Decepticons. But he could only resist for a certain time. If Megatron wasn't careful, he could lose control again soon.

No, not before he apologized to Starscream. It was own issues that caused this all to happen. Megatron could not lose himself in his struggles without trying to make amends.

It seemed so ironic that he gave the impression of a firm leader unmoved by the most shocking of circumstances, but in reality was so messed up that he had to hide himself behind another persona. He had once hoped that he could sort himself out, that circumstances would eventually turn in their favor so that instead of destroying so much from both sides, this conflict would finally prove that the future of Cybertron was worth fighting for.

That he hadn't made a huge mistake.

But war had never been merciful, nor will it ever be.

* * *

**-Commander Starscream! We need immediate backup at Altihex! The Autobots had mustered an assault against us and we don't know how long we can hold the city-state.**

**-On it.**  Starscream was glad for a distraction from the current low-point he had fallen into. He immediately prepared a regiment and set out, almost looking forward to dive helm first into his usual routine of attacking from the sky.

The following conflict was nothing significant. Starscream and his regiment simply picked out the Autobots from above while the Decepticons at Altihex continued to push them backwards. It was almost an easy battle, and soon the Autobots' numbers became few. But just as Starscream was about to give orders to finish the rest of them off, an unknown spacecraft suddenly cruised towards them at a rather high speed.

It was quite large, and the many guns and turrets mounted on it showed it was built for combat. It clearly belonged to the Autobots with their red insignia branded proudly on its top. Even as Starscream watched, the guns swerved to aim at them and opened fire.

**-What are you all waiting for? Take that ship down!**

The Seeker and his regiment scattered in different directions to avoid being hit and circled to surround the aircraft. For some reason the closer they got, the more thickly the guns fired. It became increasingly hard to dodge the shots, and Starscream could already see some Decepticons bearing scorch wounds.

This was no ordinary aircraft.

When they got close enough, they opened fire mercilessly. Starscream concentrated on taking out the guns while others sought to disable its external engines. Soon the firing grew easier to dodge, and Starscream knew that the ship would fall in a matter of cycles. It was only an unexpected but minor setback in this battle.

But suddenly, the ship's guns stopped firing as parts began to shift and move. Starscream could only watch in dumbfounded horrified awe as the ship transformed into a gigantic living Cybertronian, so massive that Lugnut and Blackout seemed tiny by comparison. It landed on the ground with a ground-shattering impact that seemed to shake everything around the Seeker.

"I am Omega Supreme," The being declared simply in a deep booming voice, "I will defeat the Decepticons."

Then the once-ship opened fire again from shoulder-mounted cannons, combined with homing missiles from its hands. Several Decepticons cried out as they were struck, plummeting to the ground in flames. Starscream was bombarded with messages from the others almost at the same time.

**-Commander Starscream! That behemoth's weaponry is superior to ours. There is no way we can take it down!**

**-What do we do?! We are no match for that thing! Look at the size of it!**

**-We must abandon Altihex. More than half of the Decepticons are already offline!**

Starscream's resolve wavered as he scanned those grim messages quickly. True enough, barely any mechs remained of the original Altihex team, and only half of the regiment were still fighting. To make things worse, more Autobots started to stream in now that the being called Omega Supreme had appeared. There was no way the remaining Decepticons could still defend Altihex.

The battle was clearly lost.

As Starscream gave the final order to retreat back to Trypticon, he wondered how Megatron would take this news with his already-fragile mentality, that Altihex was lost to the Autobots and the revealing of a gigantic Cybertronian with superior firepower that out-classed the Decepticons' completely. Starscream had little doubt that this was Project Omega revealed, from the mech's announcement of himself as "Omega Supreme".

The Seeker could only sigh at this new turning point of the war in the Autobots' favor.

* * *

"The backup to aid the defense of Altihex has failed. Although we were at an advantage at first, our numbers were soon dwindled by the appearance of a spacecraft, which is revealed to be a sentient, online Cybertronian. We could only assume that the being was Project Omega revealed, although we are not sure if the Autobots have managed to mass-produce more. Casualties are many; almost all of the Altihex team perished and only half remains of my regiment. Altihex is now back in the hands of the Autobots." Starscream gave his report in the command center before his leader, who was sitting in his throne with one hand propping up his helm and listening to everything with a somber expression. When Starscream was finished, Megatron remained strangely silent.

"What is your recommended course of action?" The Seeker was becoming slightly uncomfortable. He wanted to get this over with fast, especially now that he cannot predict how Megatron would react to this bad news. But the warlord only gave a deep sigh and placed his faceplates into both hands.

"I will see to it shortly. You are dismissed, Starscream."

The Seeker almost fled the room in a hurry, relieved that Megatron had said little. But as he traveled along the hallways towards his quarters, he began to wonder.

When had he become so fearful of his leader? Indeed he felt betrayed by what didn't even exist between them, but where did this fear come from? Was he expecting Megatron to lash out again?

Starscream could hardly believe that he once looked forward to every encounter with the other, enjoying every conversation and pleasant surprises of learning something new about him. There had been so many changes in the way he saw Megatron, first as an immature pervert to be avoided, then an intriguing mech with another side, a diligent leader who did the best for his faction, and…

And now what? Starscream could not deny there had been another change. Only this time he could not discern whether it was a good one or not, or how much it meant to him. However, it was clear that the war had impacted Megatron more than he let on.

Starscream sighed as he began to compile his report into the main database. As the Decepticon leader's second-in-command, he could not make himself scarce forever. He dreaded the solar cycle where he would have to face Megatron again, so much that he began to wonder if he should step down from his high position. The Seeker had being so naïve when he approached the warlord for his promotion, having no idea of what would happen afterwards. If he had known of the mess that would follow, he would have discarded that golden opportunity without second thought.

But by Primus, he missed the solar cycles of bantering with Megatron sarcastically and hearing his leader playfully giving his witty replies. He even missed the period of time when he tried his best to avoid his leader only to run into him everywhere he went, Megatron's pleased smirks, the way he took Starscream's every insult as an opportunity to tease the other and the way they could simply speak without worrying what was going through the other's mind

Nevertheless, he spent the following solar cycles trying to come up with a course of action for the Decepticons to take, now that the AllSpark was lost and Project Omega was revealed. The situation was truly looking grim for them now. If they ever lost Kalis also, their energon supply will be cut off. But as long as the Autobots continued to bring those Supremes into battle, the Decepticons had little chance of winning. Something must be done to destroy those super weapons fast and their weaknesses found.

Starscream realized they needed another miracle, one that might never happen. He could not hope to resign either, for the Decepticons would not easily adapt to a new second in such a sort time.

He tried to put all thoughts of Megatron behind his mind as he strategized. But for some reason the warlord always found his way in one way or the other.

One solar cycle after a strategy meeting in which Megatron was strangely absent, Hook confronted Starscream with a cold glint in his optics.

"What did you  _say to him?!_ " The medic snarled at him after the other advisors had departed.

Starscream was taken aback at the uncalled-for hostility, "What are you talking about?"

"Who else?!" Hook spat, "You should have known something was wrong when you didn't see Megatron at the meeting this solar cycle. He was on his way to a steady recovery, but I found him collapsed in one of the hallways, unconscious from overstressed systems. Mechs don't collapse from stress without reason; I can only infer that you said something that upset him greatly."

Starscream's throat suddenly constricted. Megatron was incapacitated again? So soon after that strange anger fit he had the other day? When had he even collapsed from stress anyways? The warlord always remained calm and collected in the most difficult of circumstances. But again he wasn't acting normal for orbital cycles...

"I said nothing. I was giving him a report concerning the first appearance of the Sentinels when I last spoke to him." The Seeker tried to explain.

"That's exactly the problem. You've been avoiding him since that incident in the command center, and he's beating himself over it ever since! He has been uttering your name again and again even after I gave him a sedative to help him rest. Asking to see you!  _Begging_ for your forgiveness!"

Megatron did what? Asking for Starscream?  _Begging_ for forgiveness? What was going on here? The Seeker had to do a double take when he realized this was the Decepticon leader they were speaking about.

Hook sighed exasperatedly when he saw that Starscream wasn't going to reply, "I've never seen Lord Megatron behave like this before. Believe me, I've been his longest follower since he became Decepticon leader, and I know it when I say that he has never allowed himself to be influenced so much by another mech."

Starscream's processor was going into overdrive. What was going on here? What was with Megatron's overreaction, that he should be crippled almost completely when the Seeker tried his best to avoid his leader? Here he was struggling to think of a way to face the other after the incident and Megatron was the first to give in. Starscream had expected an apology in the best-case scenario, followed by a long awkward period of time in which both of them tried their best to forget what happened.

But Megatron tormenting himself over it so much… eventually collapsing from overstressed systems… yet continuing to be in anguish because he hadn't made amends…

"Yes, congratulations, Commander Starscream. You have succeeded in what few had been able to do: incapacitating the Decepticon leader without lifting a finger." Hook shook his helm resignedly.

"I  _did not_ cripple him," Starscream finally felt falsely accused enough to retort shortly, "I wasn't aware—"

"Because you didn't even know how much of an influence you had on him. I don't know what happened between you two, but I am not going stand aside and do nothing. You  _will_ visit Lord Megatron this solar cycle, or I guarantee you that I will ask Scalpel to tend to you the next time you visit the med bay."

No Decepticon wished to incur the wrath of the medic or be put back together by Scalpel (many mechs discovered missing vital components after the small microscope was done). Starscream was no exception, yet he was beginning to make a decision unaffected by Hook's threat.

"You don't have to threaten me. I… didn't know that Megatron would act like this. I hoped to leave him alone for a period of time until we got comfortable in speaking with each other again."

"Yes, but that's you you're talking about. Megatron is obviously thinking differently." Here Hook toned down the severity to his voice so that he sounded wistful instead, "And he still has an entire faction to lead. You are the second-in-command, and it is your duty to support your leader in every way you could. You obviously occupy a very large part of our leader's thoughts, so I must ask you to use your influence wisely."

With this last admonishment, Hook left the Seeker to his bewildered state as he headed back down the hall. Starscream's mind still refused to accept what he heard was true even as he watched the medic's retreating form. It was bad enough that Megatron was once again stricken, but to have seemly lost his morale…

He was struck by sudden guilt that he hadn't allowed his leader to have the opportunity to apologize. What had he been so afraid of, as to avoid Megatron at every opportunity except for his mandatory reports? Did the warlord look like he would lash out at Starscream again? He certainly didn't, for he recalled sneaking a glance at the other when Megatron wasn't looking, and was surprised by the amount of regret and grief found in his optics.

Starscream could never hope to understand what had been going through Megatron's mind during this period of time. But one thing was clear: Somehow he had not being in control of himself back them. So when he regained himself and realized what he had done, the first thing he wanted to do was to make amends as soon as possible.

The proud and stately Megatron... asking for another as would a sparkling his caretakers and begging...

Starscream couldn't even begin to imagine such a sight, but he felt unexpected pity well up within him. Any mech would regret what he had done and apologize, or distance themselves to give both of them to recover before doing so. But Megatron… had apparently given way beneath his self-condemnation first.

Why though? Why had his leader reacted so strongly? The warlord who had survived countless defeated battles giving way under the despair of seeing his second avoid him for solar cycles. Did Starscream truly affect him this much? Why though? It was the last thing he expected the other to do, military warlord and rational leader he was.

He had never thought of Megatron's once unwelcome interest in him this way. He never really stopped to wonder how his leader saw him, for he had been so caught up in trying to figure out the other's past, his recent coldness, his strange longing and his mental condition. In any case, it was enough to cause Megatron more torment than normal when he realized he had raised a hand against his second.

What did this mean? What  _should_ it mean?

The Seeker wanted to blame it on the unveiling of Project Omega and the associated struggle of dealing with such a threat. But he already knew the answer in his spark.

And it threw Starscream's thoughts into confusion, because he  _never_ thought Megatron would ever be serious about whatever relationship that was developing between them.

 _He has been uttering your name again and again even after I gave him a sedative to help him rest. Asking to see you!_  Begging  _for your forgiveness!_

Starscream's spark gave a painful twinge as he recalled Hook's words. Why was it during this dismal time, when he wanted to approach his leader the least, that Megatron should drop his cold and distant behavior? To show that he still  _cared_ … that he obviously saw his second more as a subordinate…

In the end, Starscream left for the warlord's quarters deep in the Trypticon base with a greater desire to find out about this than to listen to an apology. It wasn't a long journey, and soon Starscream was standing before a set of plain steel double doors. For some reason they weren't locked as he slid them open.

He had never been in Megatron's quarters before at the main base, so he couldn't help but look curiously around. The entire place was dimly lit by a soft purple light with a short corridor leading into another inner chamber. It was furnished very sparsely, with a large berth taking up one end of the room and a desk, a chair, a shelf and a personal console the other.

Starscream's attention was immediately drawn to the berth where Megatron lay sprawled on the covers. The sedative obviously wasn't working, for the large mech was not recharging peacefully at all. He tossed and turned frequently, ever so often clenching his fists hard and muttering inaudible words.

Moving as if in a trance, Starscream went to drag the chair beside the berth and sat down. For a moment he studied his fitfully recharging leader in silence. He could hardly recognize this mech as the same one he had met so many stellar cycles when he first joined the Decepticons, who by his grand words and persuasive speeches called for a reformation, who held his leadership with such confidence and authority. But Megatron seemed to belie sheer  _vulnerability_ in his recharge, looking much smaller than he actually was.

Who was Megatron really, the mech who had tried to court Starscream, get him into his berth, look out for his safety in battle and offline him all at once? The confident and calm leader Starscream served, or a disturbed mech who could either erupt into fits of rage or become so unstable that he could collapse any time?

The Seeker released a wistful sigh as he remembered the memorable cycles he spent with his leader. What should he do with those memories then? He had treasured them, going through them repeatedly when he felt down. These had been the times when he longed for something more with Megatron and to know him better. What  _had_ caused everything to become as they are this solar cycle?

Megatron's restless movements suddenly ceased as his optics onlined, the dull red color strangely prominent in the dim lighting. They widened with surprise upon seeing his second.

"Starscream…" The warlord's voice was raspy and weak.

"Go back to recharge, you glitch-headed fragger," Somehow the insult seemed to originate more from exasperation than irritation, "You collapsed from fragging  _stress_! What kind of Decepticon leader does that?"

A dry chuckle, "This is a dream, isn't it? You've been avoiding me since... that. You would never in your right mind come to visit the mech who tried to throttle you the other solar cycle."

The Seeker was about to retort that it wasn't a dream when he saw bleariness and confusion in his optics. The sedative did work in a way; it made him a lot less alert. That was good. For once, Starscream didn't have anything he could say next.

Megatron sighed when the Seeker remained silent, shuttering his optics tiredly.

"I'm sorry for what happened at the command center the other day."

"Took you long enough." Starscream was expecting the apology to come along, but he wasn't about to give the other a chance to comment on his absence.

"I didn't even know what I was doing, let alone realize it was you I held in a choke hold. Did I say anything harmful? I didn't mean that either. I suppose it was just… that you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. It was never your fault… that the plan didn't succeed." The warlord spoke haltingly, but there was true regret behind his voice. Starscream was again assaulted by a stab of guilt when he was reminded that he left Megatron in his pitiful state of torment for so long.

"Megatron—" The Seeker started.

"I placed too much hope in a hopeless last resort," Megatron continued on as if he didn't hear, "I just wanted the war to end… for the fighting to stop. I thought we would soon triumph when we took the colonies… but the Autobots were so persistent. It was once a war to win, but it is now… a matter of survival.

"I wanted it all to end so much. I wanted a new Cybertron… in which all mechs could live equally. I wanted the Decepticons to have their own place in society. And I want… a chance with you, Starscream…"

"What?" As if hearing the feared leader of the Decepticons confessing his personal thoughts weren't surprising enough, this declaration threw Starscream into greater bewilderment.

This must also be the work of the sedative, for Megatron would have never said such things openly. From the way the warlord spoke, he could tell these were some of his most guarded thoughts, never revealed under any circumstance.

"You… you never leave me alone, do you?" A faint smile tugged at the warlord's lips, "Whenever I have time to myself, my thoughts automatically turn to you. I saw how you performed in battle, and I had my share of surprises when you astonished me again and again. You have so much potential behind your attractive visage… I was so blind to not have seen it earlier."

Starscream stared dumbfounded at his leader. He was speaking nonsense, was he? Megatron never told him any of this before. If he had done it sooner, it would have saved Starscream so much confusion and emotional upheaval. Megatron was particularly declaring that he considered Starscream much more than a mere comrade or even an interfacing interest. It can't be true—

"When will this all end? I want to be done… with all the intrigue and the confusion I go through whenever I think of you. Once a mech I wanted in my berth… now my valued and most trusted second… and now… now…"

Here the warlord trailed off as he met Starscream's optics with some effort. He continued on nevertheless, his voice becoming hoarse with emotion.

"I fear what you… are becoming… to me. You managed… to challenge my entire ideology… my entire way of living… and almost upended the decisions I made this solar cycle because of my past. If I want to carry on as the leader my faction without faltering, I should… have left you alone a long time ago. But I  _can't_ … I… you already… mean too much to me…"

Starscream's intakes seemed to cease.

"When I know I cannot pursue something… more with you, I keep telling myself that I want you nevertheless. Will you ever comprehend my… struggles… if I ever worked up the courage to tell you my thoughts? I don't understand any of this… even though I spent so much time trying to. What is happening to me?"

With that, Megatron finally fell silent, but he continued to look at the Seeker steadily as if he were expecting him to reply. However, Starscream's processor was reeling from the amount of information he had received. He had certainly obtained his answer on how his leader saw him on this visit.

What  _had_ been going through Megatron's mind that he should behave so coldly and yet harbor so much of this sheer  _longing_ that permeated his voice?

_You already mean too much to me._

Starscream tried to dismiss this as the ramblings of a muddled processor, but his spark gave a wrench so painful that he almost cried out. He managed to turn it into a muffled gasp as he bent double, hunching over himself in his chair. He caught his leader's optics once again, and had to look away completely this time before he could read them.

_Why did it hurt so much?_

When did his feelings for Megatron progress to the stage where it started to pain the Seeker physically like this? It seemed like it was millions of stellar cycles ago when Megatron first started to show his undesired interest that resulted in Starscream avoiding him. This progressed into gradual acceptance, and then into the gradual softening of his rejecting attitude when he saw how Megatron looked out for him in battle and proved himself to be a respectable leader.

He knew his thoughts about Megatron had changed once again even as he tried to understand the nature of this attraction between them. But Starscream had never thought Megatron would want to understand this also. The other's thoughts had been on him, just like Starscream's had been on Megatron.

Where was this heading to?

The yearning in his spark seemed to reach its peak as if responding to his leader's own. Starscream finally turned his helm to meet the warlord's optics. He saw only a simple need in them and sincerity of his words.

"I'm so sorry," Megatron whispered, "I'm so sorry that I raised my hand against you. I promised myself that I would not allow harm to come to you in any way... yet I..."

The warlord sighed again and continued on.

"I probably ruined any last chances for you to ever remain favorable towards me. Ironic... isn't it? I realized that most decisions I made lately... were all based on whether it will bide well for you... or not. I should be dedicating most of my efforts in leading my faction through the war, but now… I spend more time trying to keep you out of harm's way. Strange... why do I give you so much of my concern?"

 _Aren't you supposed to know the answer yourself?_ Starscream almost replied. But he was struck by sudden realization that his leader perhaps didn't even know it himself, let alone the Seeker.

Why indeed. Starscream had never really understood what had caused Megatron to change the nature of his interest. Nevertheless, his actions spoke what the warlord was unable to do so himself. Memories of his leader worrying over his battle wounds, his fierce determined expression as he backed up his second up in tight combat situations, being assigned to aerial assault for most battles, and most of all, the vulnerability Megatron often displayed when Starscream confronted him directly, played themselves once again.

His leader's concern… displayed enough times for the Seeker to acknowledge it openly and admit the responsive warm surges in his spark, causing him so much confusion over how Megatron saw him.

So this was why he wanted to say that it was Megatron rambling nonsense under the influence of the sedative. It can't be true. Megatron, who was previously only interested in having him for an interfacing partner, though he had progressively shown otherwise, now admitted that his second meant something more to him? What was going on in his leader's processor lately, that he should change so much in how he viewed his second?

Starscream risked another glance at the other. Megatron had shuttered his optics again, effectively concealing whatever emotion that struggled within him. But his faceplates now wore weariness so deep that it seemed to appear permanently etched into his features.

Who  _was_ Megatron? Why should Starscream become so affected by a mech who caused his own emotions to be thrown into such complicated contradiction? He both wanted to draw closer to his leader and to run away as fast as he could, both intrigued by Megatron's feelings towards him and appalled by how much the warlord's history controlled him.

But despite everything, the other had gone out of his way to do so many things for him. He had meant it when he made the Seeker second-in-command in order to prevent assaults on his life like the taking of Kalis. Megatron tried his best to defend Starscream's unknowingly scathing words in that disastrous S Team meeting. He kept up a daily correspondence while they were stationed at Kalis and Altihex. In the particular memorable battle for Altihex, Megatron placed his own life on the line to save his second.

So many…

No matter what had happened, the warlord had always looked out for him in some way. Even when he had been struggling with his own rather-severe issues, he had never failed to extend his thoughts towards Starscream.

Towards him, Starscream, who had never had so much of another mech's attention directed at him without his conscious effort.

Without trying to, the Seeker flashed back to that unspoken cycle at the command center, shuddering as he recalled Megatron's iron grip around his neck cables. No, this kind of attention shouldn't have included such a violent encounter. This incident alone had clearly told Starscream that continuing this involvement with the other had a high chance of ending in disaster.

His confusion only increased. Like so many stellar cycles ago after the taking of Kalis, the Seeker no longer knew how he should see Megatron. Again the two contradictions warred within him furiously. Starscream gritted his dentas as he realized he probably needed to get out and sort his thoughts into order before making any kind of decision.

"Starscream." Megatron spoke his second's name once more.

Starscream made a choked sound as his spark twisted achingly. Suddenly his uncertainty didn't matter, for this time the other simply sounded affectionate, as if he had just gotten rid of a heavy load he was carrying for so long.

This was illogical, what remained of Starscream's reasonable side argued. Megatron had lost control and downright attacked the Seeker in a strange fit of blind fury. Instead of continual avoidance, here he was with a progressively softening spark.

Illogical, none of this made any sense. He didn't know what drew him always to his leader and caused him so much turmoil. It was all illogical, groundless, unreasoned.

But it  _felt so right_.

Megatron's right hand shifted slightly, as if reaching for something that wasn't there. Driven by this last thought, Starscream found the impulse to lay his palm on his leader's, who smiled again and squeezed the smaller hand fondly.

"If only it were so easy for you to forgive me in reality."

"You have an usually clear mind in a dream, you overreacting scrapheap. Just shut up, will you?" Starscream admonished without much of his usual vehemence.

Megatron fell silent, but his optics stayed online as he kept his vision fixated on the Seeker. For a while the two remained so, with Starscream sitting with his helm lowered and Megatron lying on his berth with the smaller mech's hand clasped tightly in his.

"Stay..." The warlord suddenly whispered.

"Do you have to ask? You already ruined my plans for the rest of the solar cycle." Starscream returned, but oddly enough he did not care much about that.

Slag it all. He didn't want to try to make sense of this anymore.

He leaned forward and rested his other palm against the side of Megatron's angled helm. His leader turned to nuzzle into the touch, and the Seeker could feel the little gusts of air from his intakes. That strange fondness continued to swell within him at this endearing action, so much that Starscream allowed the contact to stay, even starting to stroke at his cheekplates lightly. At this Megatron shuttered his optics with a sigh of content.

Megacycles passed, and the warlord fell into recharge once again. However this time he settled down peacefully and no longer tossed and turned. The Seeker listened to his leader's steady breathing for a long silent while before discovering that he didn't really want to leave so soon.

He was willing to forgive Megatron, Starscream noted with a small start. The Seeker hadn't said it out loud, but he knew that he had already done so. Everything that happened for the past few solar cycles seemed so far away.

All that mattered now was the realization that his leader took this relationship between them more seriously than he thought. Megatron may or may not have made a concrete decision about his feelings towards his second, but Starscream already acknowledged the fact that he had been truly touched by his leader's sincerity. He didn't stop to think incredulously that he had doled out his forgiveness so easily.

Because for some reason, Starscream could never cut off Megatron completely.

He deserved forgiveness, the Seeker thought placidly as he regarded the recharging mech in silence. But the ease of doing so disturbed him slightly. Why did he always accept Megatron's attempts of reconciliation whenever things got bad? His spark had always softened upon listening to his leader's sparkfelt explanations and promises, always constricting with longing when his optics met Megatron's.

With a shudder, Starscream dismissed that line of thought before he wondered if he also held his leader in more importance than he realized. The other's words had been more than enough to ponder on this solar cycle.

The uncertain apprehension stayed with the Seeker, mingled indefinitely with his sentiments, as his fingers inadvertently wrapped around Megatron's. Try as he might, he could not deny the relief in him that once again, he was able to come to terms with both his leader and his own emotions.

* * *

Starscream onlined his optics.

He hadn't realized he had fallen into recharge on the chair beside the berth. Checking his chronometer, he saw it was still early before the morning watch would replace the middle. The Seeker should be heading back to his own quarters now.

His hand was still clutched by Megatron tightly, and now he saw that the large mech had rolled over to the edge of the berth until he was lying curled right beside Starscream. His spark again clenched at the oddly attaching sight.

Starscream managed to extricate his hand with some difficulty as he got ready to leave. He wanted to stay with his recharging leader a little longer, but he still had duties to attend to, perhaps even more now that Megatron was not fit to work. Though before the Seeker departed, he gave the warlord one last stroke on his faceplates.

Starscream failed to notice Megatron's optics onlining right after he left. He raised one hand to his cheek as if to recall the affectionate touch.

Then a genuine smile graced his lips.


	19. Indefinable

**I'm still alive, guys. I'm really sorry for leaving this story for more than a year when I had most of the chapter done. Being an international college student is no pushover, and I really needed to focus most of my attention on my schoolwork. But I have managed to develop a work routine that will enable me to hopefully write more in the future. Rest be assured that the chapter is already more than half-written, and I hope to get it out sometime soon. Until then, thank you for your patience and enjoy this long overdue chapter!**

**In the Previous Chapter: When Starscream finally visits Megatron after his uncontrollable fit of anger, he did not expect to hear the other express some of his most guarded thoughts.**

* * *

Megatron stared at the ceiling of his quarters, following the criss-crossing patterns of it.

It wasn't the most productive thing he could right now, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything else. Tinkering with his latest project on the console was out of the question, and the notion of reading a datapad made his helm ache.

He remembered what had happened the last solar cycle rather well. Megatron immediately started to strategize after hearing Starscream's report about Project Omega. He was appalled to find his fears confirmed and that the Decepticons now had a super weapon to worry about along with the space bridges. Just as Megatron was starting to plan a way to best counter this new crisis, he was suddenly struck with a fit of dizziness and knew nothing after that.

The next thing the warlord became aware of was lying in his berth with Starscream sitting by his side. He had assumed it was a dream, for his processor was heavy with sleep back then and he remembered its events hazily. It had to be a dream, because Starscream would never come to see him voluntarily, not after Megatron tried to strangle him.

Not after his second had avoided him for so many solar cycles.

His first impulse was to apologize to this apparition of the Seeker even with the heaviness of recharge hanging over him. He wanted to do so for so long, and now it no longer mattered whether the whole thing was real or not. When Starscream had remained silent, Megatron suddenly found himself pouring forth his thoughts and words he always wished to let go of. His confusion in how Starscream became much more than an interfacing interest, his longing for something more with his second and some of his personal fears.

It had to be a dream, because Starscream laid his hand on Megatron's and promised he would stay when he asked him to. Then the Seeker's gentle touch had been the last thing he felt before the dream ended.

But later on Megatron awoke in the middle of his recharge cycle, which, interestingly enough, had been absent of his usual nightmares. At first he lay in silence trying to recall that pleasant dream, which was strangely easy to do. The warlord was just about to run the events through his mind when he felt something in his right palm.

It was Starscream's hand clasped tightly in his. The Seeker had fallen asleep in his chair, his frame slightly bent over as he recharged quietly.

Megatron was almost sure it was another dream again until he realized how real Starscream's hand felt again his much larger one. He squeezed it experimentally, and it was only when the Seeker made a muffled sound in response that he started to believe this was more than a dream. When Starscream's palm had rested against Megatron's cheek before he left, he became certain that what happened the solar cycle before was real.

An uncharacteristic dread then seized him for a long cycle before he could start to comprehend what the other's actions meant to him. What exactly had Megatron disclosed in his half-awake state? How much had Starscream learned of his most personal thoughts concerning his second and of his own turmoiled emotions? The warlord almost feared to think about what this revelation would have done to the other. It had been a miracle that Starscream had bothered to visit him, and he highly suspected that whatever he said during his sedated state must have driven the Seeker into more confusion. Starscream should have kept a safe distance for a long time, not persuaded to continue this façade of relationship because of them.

Nevertheless, Megatron allowed a twinge of longing to break through. He never imagined his second would act so compassionate towards him from all the times they interacted. He was fine with his sharp sarcasm, quick wit, occasionally emotional outbursts and the many occasions he clashed with his leader. In fact, the warlord even enjoyed these challenges Starscream presented to him. But he never thought the Seeker also had another side to him, one Megatron found that he regretted not finding out sooner.

How could Starscream remain so favorable towards him after he tried to offline him in his blind rage? Megatron didn't deserve it at all! He knew his second was most likely to stay away from him for the rest of his life or if Primus was merciful, a few million stellar cycles. Thus the warlord was amazed that Starscream would return so soon as if nothing had happened.

He was becoming more than a second-in-command, Megatron realized. Starscream now seemed to affect his thinking and decision-making more than a mere subordinate. No matter how he tried to defend this as the determination get the Seeker into his berth or the reluctance to lose such a capable worker, he still couldn't deny the fact that he wanted more with Starscream. Megatron wanted him to be at his side in everything he did, someone close to him, and he had no idea why.

Megatron was still musing when a knock sounded on the door. He gave the silent command for it to open, and Starscream stepped in with an energon cube in one hand. The warlord had been expecting his second to come back once again, but actually seeing him do so was yet another surprise.

"Hook prescribed this medical energon designed to give a mech more sustenance then an ordinary one." The Seeker said briefly as he placed the cube on the small table beside the berth.

"Thank you." Megatron retrieved it and took a sip, grimacing at the bitter taste it left. Starscream remained stoically silent as he waited for him to finish, but the warlord could tell that he was struggling to contain a torrent of words from the way the Seeker's optics tracked his every movement.

Megatron sighed inwardly. He knew his second was going to confront him over everything he had said last solar cycle eventually.

But Starscream didn't speak until the warlord had consumed the entire cube. When he finally did, it was with a tense hushed question that dove right into the heart of the matter.

"What are you doing to yourself?"

"What do you mean by that?" Megatron met the other's optics evenly. However his spark clenched in anxiety when he realized he may have to attempt to explain everything.

"Don't play dumb with me, Megatron. You literally collapsed from nothing more than overthinking! The officers may not know what was going through your processor, but I do. And I know that you  _should not_ have devoted so much of your thoughts towards these matters in the middle of a losing war!"

Now  _that_ was an unwelcome surprise. The warlord hadn't expected Starscream to go ahead and accuse him of his obvious failure in leadership.

"Do not presume to know my thoughts completely, Starscream," Megatron instinctively deflected, "The burdens of my leadership cannot be understood any mech who has not borne it—"

"You were  _begging_  to see me after your collapse!" Starscream's challenging front dropped as he turned away, "You wanted my forgiveness so badly after that incident in the command center that you could not recharge properly even after taking a sedative, and you  _dare_ to tell me that I don't know what's going on?"

"I…" Megatron couldn't find a rebuttal to that, or to anything the other said. He knew his second was right, because he knew he had disclosed almost everything during his half asleep state.

"You told me that you wanted it all to end," Starscream whispered, still avoiding optic contact, "That I already mean too much to you. Are you going to say that you meant none of that, and that they were only meaningless dream talk?"

"Do you want me to?" The warlord returned simply enough, but inwardly he was trying to suppress his growing horror. Exactly how much of his most private thoughts had he disclosed to his second? It had been a miracle for Starscream to overcome his fear after what had happened and visit, but to be also thrown in confusion regarding whatever excuse of a relationship they had between them…

The self-condemnation that had been plaguing him suddenly returned in full force.

"No, please disregard what I just said," He cut off Starscream as he was about to speak, "None of my words from the last solar cycle should mean anything. I have no right to speak them after what I did to you."

Instead of falling silent, Starscream suddenly shot him a severe look so sharp that it quashed any notion of arguing. He knew he had probably misinterpreted his second's motives yet again.

"How long will you continue to wallow in your self-blame?! Was not my visit enough to convince you that I have already forgiven you and dismissed what happened back then as a psychotic anger episode you had no control over?! Fine, you can choose to say that I am an apparent idiot for not leaving you alone by now, but that doesn't change the fact that you, as  _leader_ of all Decepticons, are one of the most pessimistic mechs I've ever met."

"Starscream—" Megatron should have known better than to interrupt once the Seeker went into rant mode.

"First you attempt to shut yourself out, then you start showing signs of post traumatic stress and I do know what they look like, so don't try to say I don't. And you particularly  _lost control_ over your own mind to go as far to attack your own officers, collapsed from overstressed systems and now proceed to blame yourself for everything…"

With that other's voice trailed away as he broke optic contact.

"Why did you never tell me about any of this?" Starscream sounded so grief-stricken that Megatron had to almost physically restrain himself from reaching out to the other, "Did you think I would have cut you off from my life permanently, though I could not do so since I am your second-in-command? Is that how you've always thought of me?"

 _No, why would you think that?_ Megatron wanted to deflect. There was no one he trusted more than his second, but that age-old fear of weakness continued to hold him fast, as well as the dread of opening himself up to others. Part of him wanted nothing more than to  _tell_ his second everything, to confirm that everything he spoke in his delirious state was indeed true. In the end, however, the warlord failed to express his true thoughts, as usual.

"This has nothing to do with you, Starscream, or even with the rest of the faction. My issues are my own to struggle with; there was no need to get anyone involved. There was nothing you could have done to change anything even if I told you." The warlord said heavily.

"You already got everyone involved when you lost control, but you could have saved yourself a heap-load of trouble had you told me what you were struggling with. I would have supported you more—"

"I don't want your pity," Megatron forcibly shoved back the immediate shocked realization that Starscream had willingly offered undeserved help, "Save it for someone who actually needs it."

"Oh you are just hopeless, Megatron!" Starscream flung back at him, "You think you're shutting yourself away because you want to give the impression that you're strong, but you are doing the exact opposite! Do you think that suppressing all of…  _that_  is helping the faction?! You wouldn't have downright destroyed the Decepticons' morale had you let your officers know that you were struggling with the first place. With the loyalty everyone has for you, they would have understood and served under you nevertheless!"

He could tell that the other was blatantly overstepping the boundaries of a superior and his second officer and that his words, no matter how true they were, showed have earned reprisal. But Megatron couldn't bring himself to shut the other down. Not when he knew that what Starscream said was mostly true.

He  _was_ trying to stay strong by shutting himself away. Because he thought it was the best way, for both everyone else and himself.

The fact that it had the opposite effect was a terrifying thought.

"It's not that simple," The warlord tried one last time to defend his failing argument, "Not mentioning that I refuse to make others bear the burden that should be my own. I lost control because of my own weakness, and the best I could do right now is to prevent it from happening again."

Correction: It cannot happen again. His spark twisted on itself as he remembered the moment when he woke briefly from the haze of anger to see the  _hurt_ on Starscream's faceplates and the choke marks on his neck. He would do anything that is necessary to ensure that such an expression would never appear on the Seeker again.

Even… if it meant letting Starscream go.

By now his second was in the middle of another rant about thick bolted stubbornness and his leader's illogical reasoning and his own outrage about the whole matter. But Megatron had already tuned out as he pondered his choices. He knew clearly if he stopped this attachment to the other he would be free of this agonizing struggle. If only letting go of his feelings were as simple as deleting a line of code.

"—and save yourself this suffering if you would only  _open up!_  What do you have to say for yourself?!" Starscream finally broke off his tirade to address his leader directly.

Nothing, Megatron knew. But he hid his true words once more.

"Only that I shouldn't have allowed this to continue," He sighed deeply, "I would prefer that you remained as my second, nothing more."

 _I want you by my side. Though I fear what may happen to me as this attachment grows, I cannot deny this_ want.  _I want to see more of what could happen between us. Because you intrigue me more than anything._

Starscream became silent upon hearing this and turned his helm away. One of his hands gripped the seat of his chair tightly until it creaked.

"So you don't remember anything you said to me last night."

Megatron truly didn't, "Only somewhat vaguely."

"You told me that I mean too much to you, that you wanted me and that you wanted all the confusion to end! I don't see a  _word_ in there that implies you want to place distance between us!"

_I don't._

But this time Megatron could no longer find words that could hide his true ones.

Because this time, his spark demanded them to be spoken as he regarded his second-in-command, the one mech who had somehow brought him so much contentment and torment at the same time and forced him to question what he truly wanted.

"You wouldn't know that for sure, Starscream." He challenged the other one last time.

"I think I do."

Megatron gave a resigned sigh, "At this rate you're going to know me better than I know myself."

With that, he lowered his defenses so that a tiny bit of his true words trickled through.

"And interestingly enough, I don't mind."

The Seeker's optics widened, and for a few cycles he stayed that way. He could literally see Starscream's turmoil in his mind as he probably struggled to make sense of all this. Megatron waited almost fearfully for the other's possible negative reaction. However, Starscream's expression turned soft.

"I see."

With that short response the Seeker reached for the empty cube. Megatron let him do so, but was surprised when Starscream laid his hand on his for a few nanokliks before taking the container away.

"You could not have been more vague, you scrapheap. Are you going to give me an honest reply or not?"

Megatron made his point clear when he caught the other's retreating hand and held it tightly. There was a brief flash of understanding in Starscream's optics. No more words were needed.

Starscream then gently withdrew his hand and turned to leave, though not before turning around for a last lingering glance. His look was uncertain, accompanied by a longing sort of wistfulness. But it was the hint of simple tenderness that Megatron spent the rest of the solar cycle pondering over.

* * *

The next few solar cycles were a torment for Megatron, not because he was puzzling over Starscream in thought, but because he was bored to tears. Hook had reminded him again severely that going into battle was out of the question unless he was stable enough to take it up again. The warlord was fine with that as long as he was able to continue to plan and strategize, until he lost consciousness again while going over the army's supply reports. Hook promptly sentenced him to the berth afterwards and  _suggested_ that he allow another to take over his duties for now.

The logical course of action was to contact Starscream and offer him temporary leadership… along with full responsibility for a war and a strategy team of mechs who disliked him. Megatron didn't doubt his ability to lead; in fact, he had been looking for an opportunity to observe the way his second took command and offer some pointers. In the middle of war, he had to prepare a successor at almost all times.

However, such a thought took a different turn this time. Megatron found that he would prefer very much to not have a successor, not Starscream, that is. He didn't want to be offlined, forever barred from ever seeing the Seeker again. If Starscream took up the Decepticon leadership no matter the reason and the warlord's fate, they could no longer interact as they were now.

This was a revelation that had Megatron struggling to reconcile it with his new understanding of Starscream. It would have become unbearable if not for the gradual silencing of the voices of his past. He began to recharge more peacefully as well, sometimes completely without a glimpse of his memories. Even those that appeared were just harmless scenes of mundane conversations.

Unhindered by his own problems, Megatron began to put more spark into the times when Starscream came to visit. As a result, he noticed things he didn't before, namely the change in his second's behavior and words.

Starscream came at least three times a solar cycle to deliver energon, give a report on the army's movements and ask about his recovery before they began to spiral off into a range of other topics.

He spoke much about his previous scientific work and the off-planet expeditions he embarked on. Having never really tried to explore the other colonies, Megatron often found himself entranced by the narratives and descriptions of foreign worlds and their inhabitants. In addition, he was fascinated by Starscream's sheer  _enthusiasm_ , a side he had never seen before. Though the Seeker remained sarcastic and sharp spoken, often expressing his disdain about how these off-world governments could be more effective if they did this and that, his fondness for exploring and learning about new cultures was evident.

Megatron found that Starscream was becoming progressively comfortable around him. He often sat close enough so that his wingtip brushed against Megatron's shoulder. There were also times when he laid a hand on the warlord's shoulder, smacked his arm and emphasized his words with acts that involved touching his frame. The Seeker always withdrew hastily when he realized this, but he hadn't flown into a rage over any kind of contact as he had done previously.

Starscream had come to some sort of understanding, of the good kind.

The warlord was right. Starscream had softened significantly towards his leader since their last conversation. He was mostly convinced that Megatron was sincere and his motives upright. The Seeker still found it hard to believe that his leader wanted him for something other than interfacing. But Megatron had all but implied a relationship, and Starscream found himself wishing this to happen.

He became rather self-conscious because of this, discovering that he became easily flustered at the smallest things. The warlord can be so sweet sometimes without meaning to. Starscream often had to resort to scathing commenting when Megatron asked how his day went with that endearing concern he had because his spark always warmed pleasantly with a sensation that weakened his knees. Upon realizing that he was sometimes sitting close enough to his leader to accidentally bump his wings against him, Starscream turned his helm away so that no one could see his embarrassed expression. When had he ever felt his faceplates heat up whenever they engaged in however small the bodily contact? What was so different now?

Because Megatron had tried to communicate, despite not being accustomed to it.

The fact that the other  _tried_  affected Starscream more than he would admit. If Megatron hadn't bothered to explain things, Starscream would have remained in misunderstanding forever. After his leader had attempted to explain everything, there was no reason really for Starscream to continue to treat the other with utter rejection.

Starscream was currently in his leader's quarters again, watching the larger mech recharge in silence. He had come with his usual energon cubes, but had found Megatron recharging upon arriving. At first he wanted to leave the fuel there and leave, but there was a part of him that wished to sit down and accompany the other for a short while. Call it foolish sentimentality or just a silly waste of time, but the Seeker wanted nothing more than to simply sit there and reflect on his thoughts towards Megatron.

"You  _are_ a waste of my time, you insufferable pervert," Starscream muttered crossly, nudging his leader's pede with his own.

Maybe he should take that last remark back, since it had been so long since Megatron attempted to grope the Seeker inappropriately. He was fairly sure that if the warlord had behaved that way towards another, most mechs would have been repulsed. But strip that behavior away and his leader became so much more approachable. In fact, Starscream wouldn't have minded if Megatron had courted him in his current state.

Oh, stop being sappy, the Seeker scolded himself. Why the heck should he decide to give himself to another, especially when the warlord had attempted to  _choke_ him offline?

Still, he couldn't harden his spark completely. Why did he continue to visit this mech every solar cycle when he knew he was fine? Or when he knew that Megatron had a dangerous tendency to lose control and attack those around him? Whether he liked it or not, Starscream cannot deny that he anticipated those visits. There was a part of him always nagged at him about his leader's condition to the point that he felt he had failed to do something important if he didn't go.

Megatron suddenly stirred in his recharge cycle and onlined his optics abruptly. They glowed a soft hazy crimson in the dim light, which brightened considerably upon seeing the Seeker sitting by his side. However, the warlord didn't speak straight away as he maneuvered himself to sit upright on the edge of the berth and retrieved the energon cube on the berthside table. For a long while he sipped at his cube silently, but his gaze never left his second. Starscream resisted the temptation to fidget under this careful scrutiny until he realized that the other's faceplates held a fond expression instead of a serious one.

Slag it all. One look was all it took to melt his spark and weaken his limbs again. What was  _wrong_ with him?!

Starscream tried to recover himself by reaching for the other's now empty cube, but Megatron grasped him by the extended hand and pulled him into his lap. At the unexpected display of affection, his faceplates heated up so much that he was sure that it nearly matched his fuchsia plating. No, he didn't want this kind of intimate contact especially in the privacy of his leader's quarters. This was strictly a visit in which he brought Megatron fuel and kept him company.

But why did it feel so right to lean against the larger mech and feel his firm solid frame against his?

"Stop… this is not dignified." The Seeker managed to say breathlessly.

Megatron didn't respond. Instead he leant to nuzzle the back of Starscream's neck gently as he moved his arms to wrap around his slim frame. At this all thoughts of resistance immediately crumbled to nothing. Starscream finally yielded for once and relaxed with a small sigh. He had to admit that the large mech felt good to lean against, for his solid frame was surprisingly warm.

How was Megatron always able to win him over this easily? The time when tried to choke him in the command center now seemed so unreal. There was only his leader's frame against his, and the steady pulse of his spark as Starscream leant his helm against Megatron's chestplates.

"Who's the affectionate one now?" Megatron chided.

"Stop trying to contradict me," The Seeker muttered, "It's not my fault that you serve particularly well as a berth pillow."

Megatron's responding chuckle was amused as he brushed his lips against Starscream's helm in a light kiss, causing the other to shudder. Starscream can't describe the emotion that assaulted him then, but he knew he wanted this forever. He may never know why Megatron had suddenly changed his intentions towards him, but he wanted this relationship. Starscream wanted his leader's attention and concern, with no more misunderstandings and ambiguity between them.

The other's grip suddenly tightened around him.

"What?" Starscream did not really appreciate being squeezed  _like_ a berth pillow.

"It will be nice to keep you here like this."

There was something both humorous and serious meant by Megatron's words. The Seeker scowled as he realized that the other was hiding something again.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Hook told me this solar cycle that my condition is not fit for leading the Decepticons in battle," Megatron said, "It means that… you have to take over until I recover."

That effectively snapped Starscream out of his frustration, "Wait, what?"

"You are going to lead the faction temporarily, Starscream."

Lead the Decepticons? Have the fates of thousands of mechs laid on his shoulders? Being half-responsible for an ongoing war? The Seeker wasn't prepared to have this suddenly dropped on him while he was particularly  _snuggling_ against the other. He twisted out of Megatron's arms to stare at him in shock.

"Are you kidding me? Obviously you're doing fine enough to invade on my private space like this, and you get confined to berth? You can still strategize, you know, and I will be more than willing to appear in your place out in the battlefield. But complete leadership? I don't think that's necessary."

Megatron raised his helm to look at him directly in the optic, his expression serious for once, "As my second-in-command, you are expected to take command whenever I am unable to. Call it a test if you would. One of these days I have to know if you are ready to lead the Decepticons. We must prepare for the possibility of your future leadership if something should happen to me in battle."

The Seeker's first reaction was disbelief. Megatron wanted him to take command? But he could barely get the Decepticons to listen to him as second-in-command, let alone as leader. Could he strategize and lead well enough on his own?  _Could_ he deal with the offlinings that he could have prevented and live with the fact that he was responsible for those lost lives?

He met the other's look with some difficulty, and was surprised to sense that there was something the warlord wasn't telling him, again. Megatron seemed to be struggling with an unsaid thought that he was unwilling to share.

"Ha! You're too stubborn and thick-bolted to offline that easily." Starscream tried to dismiss the tension.

"If only. It will be better if I didn't. I… would rather not leave the realm of the living, not while you're still here. Who else will provide a never-ending supply of sarcasm?"

Again, there was a second meaning to those words. Starscream was getting better at picking them up, and he barely suppressed the shudder upon realizing that Megatron had the equal risk of offlining in battle like any other mech. It wouldn't be just the death of the leader of the Decepticons but the entire cause. Although there were many who were genuinely loyal to the warlord and the faction, there were also a great number of rogues and criminals who joined because they wanted to be sprung out of their low statuses. There was a large chance that the Decepticons would fall apart without a strong leader. The war will be lost, and...

_He could never see Megatron again._

"Don't think too much. I am simply pointing out the facts." Megatron's light admonishment brought him out of his brooding.

Not just the facts, Starscream wanted to say. The insufferable scrapheap had much more going on in his processor than a simple request to take leadership.

Megatron suddenly pulled him close against his frame once more, with his warm palm stroking the back of Starscream's helm.

"Facts… it's just facts. A leader must always choose a successor, although I wish… I wish…"

His voice turned wistful as he slumped against the Seeker.

"I wish that with you I could make an exception."

Oh.

So that was what was bothering him.

Starscream cannot say that he completely understood what that statement meant, but he had an idea now. And this time his leader had tried to make his thoughts clear without forceful encouragement his part. It was an improvement that hopefully signified a turning point in their relationship, and showed that they could stop hiding behind double meanings any longer.

* * *

**Thank you for reading!**


End file.
